Saturday, August 25, 2007


"We have to anticipate and not make the same mistake once."
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard
"Time Squared"

Hey, she's speaking in reverse!

Commodore April, in a shout-out to Gene Roddenberry, and his wife are aboard visiting when an alien ship tries to fly into the Beta Niobe nova (remember them?). So Kirk tries to stop them, which he can't, and ends up with the Enterprise getting dragged in as well. Not a healthy place to be. Somehow, they survive entering the nova. Now they're in an Oreo milkshake.

Everything is working in reverse. Sarah April's dead flower regenerates itself. Everything works in reverse, in fact. They're even de-aging. Hey, wasn't that the final episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation?

They even fly backwards. They have to find a way to get back to their universe. They find some people who age backwards. Hey, wasn't that an episode of Star Trek: Voyager? Anyway, together they figure out a plan to get back. Everyone starts de-aging and forgets how to use their consoles which is mildly amusing. April uses the Transporter solution from "Unnatural Selection" to make everyone grow up again.

And that was the end of Animated Star Trek.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Now we're thinking more long term

Lost - Walkabout

Creepy Bald Man lost his shoe in the crash. Now he sits on the beach, looking creepy.

The dog barks and the monster is coming again. They're not in a good place. Rumble rumble... something's in the plane! Houston, we have... well, it's eyes glow. Big dog things. Wild Boars, it turns out, according to Creepy Bald Man. They're gonna have to burn the bodies.

They're out of food. Luckily, Mr. Locke can hunt. In fact, he checked his hunting knifes. Freaky deaky.

Locke is a colnel in something. Creepier and creepier. What the hell is his deal?

I'm getting a little caught up in this, aren't I?

Rose is sitting on the beach, refusing to talk.

Shannon and Charlie decide to go fishing.

Kate and Michael bond rigt before Michael is gored by a wild boar. Well, I guess they found it. Locke has a flashback to explain his walkabouts in the Australian outback to his jerkish boss. Amusingly, Locke's first name is John. John goes off to hunt the boar, leaving teeny tiny Kate to drag Michael back to camp.

Charlie has recruited Hurley to the fishing project.The whole thing is kind of ridiculous.

Claire finds an envelope with Saiyid's name on it. It's full of pictures of some woman.

Rose finally starts talking.

John Locke had a relationship with a phone sex girl named Helen who refused to go to Australia with him. Lonely old man.

Kate climbs a tree to attach the triangulating antenna Sayid made so they could find the source of the distress signal. The monster comes along while she's up there. Or maybe just Locke being hunted by a boar. No, Locke hears the boars being eaten by the monster. Which comes out and I think he sees it... but we don't see it. Probably not good for Locke.

Kate finally gets Michael into camp. Charlie caught a fish and Shannon and her brother get in a fight.

Rose seems to think her husband is still alive. Jack sees a man in a suit on a hill who then vanishes.

Kate promises to Sayid that they'll keep trying to escape. Then she tells Jack that Locke is dead. Jack sees the man again. He follows him into the woods - to Locke, dragging a boar.

They read a list of names of everyone in the plane - everything they know about them. Charlie continues to sneak his drugs. Jack sits alone. Michael asks Locke about the monster, but he says he didn't get a look. Locke has some kind of condition that kept him from the walkabout. He's in a weelchair. But now he's walking around the beach. But when he woke up after the crash, he could walk. No wonder he's been in shock.

Crap Royale

Star Trek: The Next Generation - The Royale
Data counts cards, Will and Worf run around doing dumb things, and Picard has to read the world's worst book. Good times.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Sharp little teeth.

Animated Star Trek: How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth

Some probe was spying on them, but really obviously and very traceable. So Kirk and his band of animated miscreants trace it back to a really huge ship. In fact, it's a ceramic vessel. Points for creativity there. Then they run into what Scotty calls "a wall of clay". Lol. Q's force field surrounds them, and a giant uterus attacks them. Points for disturbing images.

Suddenly, the giant uterus turns into a giant snake. More disturbing images points! The conveniently named Mr. Walking Bear at the helm recognizes the ship because he's a Comanche. The ship is the Mayan/Aztec god Kukulakan. Good thing he's around, isn't it.

Suddenly, Walking Bear vanishes, and so do Scotty and McCoy. Kirk has enough time to get mad before he, too, vanishes.

Hey, wasn't this episode "Who Mourns for Adonais?"

Kukulakan shows off to his captives for a while. In fact, he builds a pyramid.

Spock and Uhura begin sniping at each other.

Kirk manages to show off his ignorance of the Aztecs (despite his knowledge of the exact details of one day at the O.K. Corral). They manage to contradict themselves several times while figuring out that they need to explore the city that has now been built which may or may not contain a signaling device. Kirk starts shouting off the top of a pyramid, which is kind of funny to watch, and Kukulkan appears to them. They have a confrontation wherein I really just want to hear Kirk say "what does Kukulkan need with a Starship?"

Kukulkan takes them to his zoo. Kirk, somewhat idiotically, tries to convince Kukulkan of the validity of the Prime Directive. Interesting tactic. Next, they try to convince Kukulkan how wonderful they are, and in the end he blames them because his "dream is ending". Not their best moment.

Spock manages to break through the Q field (wouldn't Kukulkan notice that?). Kukulkan, naturally, decides to retaliate. Kirk and McCoy free the fiercest of Kukulkan's creatures. The one with the 2,000 volt charge. Because that's smart. Spock disables the central power source and Kirk and McCoy tranquilize the giant electric eel cat thing, which lies down to lick it's paws. Kukulkan finally allows Kirk to get a word in edgewise. Kirk makes a long-winded speech about how we don't need gods anymore. Hey, wasn't this "Who Mourns for Adonais?"

They are returned to the ship. Obligatory banter ensues.


Data and the Enterprise get a computer virus. The U.S.S. Yamato blows up. The Romulans don't trust the Federation and who could blame them. We'll be back after these important messages.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

And speaking of, I could've swore that was a Buffysode.

Okay, so Kate's the prisoner. She's dangerous. I think the guy who's supposed to be arresting her's gonna die soon. Problem is, the group out in the woods just decided she should gunsit. Flashback to some guy pointing a shotgun at her for sleeping in his sheep pen. He took her in, gave her bacon and eggs, gave her a job.

The hiking group comes back and tells everyone they need to start working on survival. Kate walks up to Jack and tells him that they can't send out a signal and why. And then she neglects to tell him who she is. And he doesn't tell her he knows. Probably smart. She has a gun, now.

Hurley tries to get Jack to confront Kate, of course, but he won't. The creepy hick whose name I forgot acts like a jerk as always. The jerky Korean guy insults his... whatever some more. Charlie hits on the pregnant chick.

Kate goes to see the Marshall. She has a flashback to leaving the farm. The Marshall wakes up and tries to kill her. Jack comes in and saves her. The guy's dying, and Kate wants Jack to kill him, but he refuses, and tells her he saw her mug shot.

The farmer drove her to the train station, and someone followed them. Ray, the farmer, knew that she was - something. He wanted to collect the reward.

Meanwhile, Walt tells his dad that Mr. Locke (creepy bald man) told him a miracle happened to him. Michael promises to go get the dog back as soon as it stops raining. It stops raining. So he goes looking in the forest for the dog (named Vincent. Sigh) but something chases him - straight into bathing Korean woman.

Charlie approaches Mr. Locke as the Marshal screams in pain. Creepy Hick tries to bond with Kate, but since he's, you know, creepy, she lets it go. The Marshal asks to talk to Kate. Flashback to her arrest in Australia, which involved the farmer being injured in a crash. Kate saved his life.

The Marshal asks Kate to kill him. Kate gives the Creepy Hick the gun and lets him do it. Only the Creepy Hick didn't kill him right. The death is now going to take hours. So Jack - I guess he smothered him, or something.

The Bald Man made a whistle. He blows it and out comes the dog, so Baldy goes to Michael so Michael can return the dog to Walt. Kate comes to Jack to tell him what she did, but he says it doesn't matter. They all have a clean slate - Tabula Rasa. Hey, isnt' that the episode title?

The Koreans finally have a gesture of affection between them - even if she's asleap at the time. Sayid and the creepy hick play ball. Walt gets his dog back. What're they planning to feed it, I wonder? And the Bald Man watches. He's scary. And so is this music.

Isn't that a fish?

Furthering my Animated Trek adventures, Kirk and his band of suddenly fatter people deliver some medical supplies to a bunch of walking fish. After delivering the medical supplies, McCoy is charged with murder of many people - because he started a plague 19 years ago. Because that's likely. Kirk seems smarter than normal, though, which I admit doesn't take much (Fox Mulder he ain't). Still waiting for the episode title to make an appearance. Anyway, they go to beam down to the planet where McCoy committed murder, and lo and behold Kirk loses all his smart points by walking into a teeny tiny cave opening after a potential hostile alien. They find the alien, and Spock tries to comfort him by patting him on the shoulder. Anyway, there's a witness that really likes McCoy, so they take him back for the trial. For some reason they need warp 6 between these two planets in the same solar system... but they're moving awfully slowly in the shot... okay, I'm done with that. And then the alien gets sick with the plague. And then Kirk gets sick. BTW, the first symptom is turning blue. Scotty gets sick too. In fact, everyone turns blue except Spock. Dramatic music plays. Spock, of course, takes command of the ship. They have to break McCoy out of jail to get him to cure the thing. Kirk regains his brilliance by solving the problem while sick. McCoy remembers his patient from nineteen years ago and is able to use him to develop a cure to the disease, in the process proving that he didn't cause it at all. The aliens honor him for his brilliance. Spock and McCoy engage in obligatory banter. The name of the episode is "Albatross" for some reason.


Remember this movie?

Those were the days. God, Bill Pullman looks really young, Jeff Goldbloom looks like Ian Malcom and not... creepy old guy, and it's still okay for aliens to be the bad guys (these days they'd probably just have the aliens help us defeat the terrorists).

And then we have Will Smith...drooling...drooling...

Yeah, it's a classic. Meant to go down in history as the best pyrotechnics show this side of Mars. Whichever side of Mars we're on right now.

Monday, August 20, 2007

A Quote

"...and now I tells how you be a Vul-can! Notkills anyones anymores! Noteats lit-tul an-ni-mals! Stops you cur-sings! Wears you shoes! Trynot in-ta-rupt! Be la-gee-ka, like Spock! Notnot! You stupid! Noteats own fin-gers!"
-The child Saavik, to a baby
The Pandora Principle
by Carolyn Clowes

Practical Jokes aside

Uhura has way more to say in Animated Trek. Really, I like it. It's new and different.

Lost Time

They're so Lost that no one will come for them. No one's come for the last person stranded there sixteen years ago. Of course, since someone else sent a mayday, that means they do have a radio...

Also, there was a polar bear loose on the island and in a shocking twist, Kate is the prisoner everyone is looking for.

The good thing about a new job

The good thing about having my job situation sorted out is that I know I have time to work on learning linux. For the last six months I've been wandering around my OS, trying to just coexist with the damn thing. Not that I don't love it, or that I like Windows, but it's hard to switch to such a technical OS when you don't have time to learn what it can do. So I started tutorials on the Linux Knowledge Base today, and already I feel better about it.

Some of it's lost on me, I admit.

Some of it isn't, and I'm getting more comfortable with the command line. Very important.

Geriatric Perk

God, I can't believe how old Jurassic Park is these days. And it still looks wonderful. Am I the only one amazed by this?

I have friends who won't watch it because it champions evolution, but personally I don't think that's the point of the story, and I think they're overlooking something even more important when people say that - this is a scientific perspective against tampering with nature. No one notices that. The evolution part is really unimportant to the story.

What the hell is a Dauphin anyway?

This is what I love about Star Trek. We have the enemy - whose motives are always for the good. We have the teenage romance - very very doomed. It's sweet, it's cute. I bet Wil Wheaton's embarassed when he watches it these days, but I love it.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Getting Lost

It has to be done. J.J. Abrams must now prove his worth... okay, that sounds lame. This is me, reviewing J.J. Abrams and praying that he'll get Star Trek right.

Man. Forest. Suit. Blood. Dog. I'm guessing ow.

Oh, and ooh, alcohol. Nice attempt at subtle. I'm guessing you've seen it, of course. Basically, there was this plane crash, which was all very bad, and tons of people are stranded on this desert island in the middle of the ocean which doesn't sound fun. Also, the jet engines keep whirring despite being detached from the plane. Doesn't make tons of sense. Also they are not hiding the blood. I'm not sure this is appropriate for prime time viewing. There's tons of people, so we're probably not talking serious ensemble show.

It's still weird to see him. Executive Producer: J.J. Abrams is slapped all over everything I watch these days. Directed By J. J. Abrams. Produced. Written. Pretty soon it'll be Guest Starring Zachary Quinto. Because that's what needs to be done.

This is a very weird island. And when they show the crash... God, it's the most roomy plane in existence. And how did that many people survive a crash like that, anyway? There's not nearly enough dead people. Realistically. I know, this is sci-fi. And what's with the dog? Let me guess - it's the invisible monster's master!

I'm trying not to be intrigued, but I am. I'm also fatigued, and more than a little peeved because the pilot just got et. As in eaten, but more fun to say. And I'm beginning to see why this man can do Star Trek. The shocking beginning, the randomness, and creating a world that is totally unlike our own - in this case right here on Earth. Right now, for the first time since this all started, I really believe that J.J. can do this thing.

And then with the sexual tension and does anyone remember the first season of Enterprsie, because I'm having a flashback to Broken Bow with the sexy decon scene right now.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Quote of the Day

"If I had been there, I wouldn't have let you die!"
-Leonard Nimoy to William Shatner
on Star Trek: Generations
August 12, 2007

A Matter of Honor

The origin of Gagh, scary Klingon honor codes, and ship-eating bacteria. Oddly, Worf is strangely out of character.

Unnatural Selection

Okay, so now we know what Diana Muldaur will look like when she's ancient. This ep always used to scare me when I was a kid. Now I just worry about the psychology behind the hot muscular twelve-year old encased in plastic.

The Schizoid Man

All conclusions about right to life aside, can there be a more humiliating episode to watch? Seriously. "To know him is to love him and to love him is to know him?" I feel such pity for Brent Spiner when I watch this. Although, he did an amazing job, you can tell he's different after Graves dies - the body language completely changes.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Oh no no no no

So, I guess the world is coming to an end.

Someone on MySpace named "the official star trek convention" has just posted a bulletin that says Russell Crowe is going to be the next Star Trek Villain. Didn't we learn anything from Tom Hardy? Star Trek needs no villians. Remember "All Good Things"? Spatial anomaly. We need spatial anomalies.

Also that Tom Cruise is doing a cameo. Well, I guess it could be worse. Kirk isn't a cameo. Maybe he'll just fade into the background like poor Wil Wheaton did in Nemesis.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Way to Eden

Okay, so there were many, many things horribly wrong here. The Space Hippies, the singing, Dr. Sevrin...

But you know what? It's kind of one of those things that just won't die. I actually made my boss a shirt that says "Not a Herbert." Oh, so cool.

Also, it explains a lot about Star Trek V, doesn't it?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I'm home now

And while I plan to continue my con reporting, I do want to take a few moments to collect myself. It was an awesome time and a very profound experience.

Also, I started watching Animated Trek for the first time yesterday. Results were not impressive.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

What do you do when you meet the man who ruined your life?

First, Rene Auberjonois and Nana Visitor were on, and they were hilarious. All the questions were for Rene, and you could tell they were just having an awesome time. Nana is doing her show and Rene is working on his art.

Marc Alaimo, Andy Robinson, and Casey Biggs were also wonderful. My question didn't stand a chance, but that's okay. They were friendly and amusing, and Casey did his death scene again, collapsing into Andy's arms and damaging Andy's mike. Andy talked about doing Dirty Harry and they said there are no plans for a movie, dammit. Casey said we'll still be there in fifty years. He thinks Trek is eternal. Pretty cool. Nana and Rene came onstage briefly to give them each a hug and say hi.

I took an interlude at this point, because I knew what was coming and I didn't want to miss out. I went to see Wil Wheaton and got him to pose for a photo. He was wonderful, very warm and funny, when I told him what I was going to do, and he even thanked me for doing it.

So, as for what I was going to do, here we go. First, some clarification on the title. My life, of course, revolves around Star Trek. I have tried and failed to change this and eventually I decided that Star Trek is the medium in which I work. I'm stuck with it and it's stuck with me. So if Star Trek is my life, what is Brannon Braga?

Because he was here today.

I considered missing that part of the show, but I just couldn't. I had to know. I considered several questions, among them, "If I asked nicely would you fall on your head and drown in your own barf?" and "How do you sleep at night?" but I settled for "What would you change?"

Simple question, really. He had to know it was coming.

To be fair, I should add that Brannon didn't ruin my life singlehandedly. He had help. I have divided the responsibility between him, Rick Berman, the studio/network, and various random factors that can impact a show, and decided that he was precisely one-quarter of the problem which means he owes me one-quarter of an apology. His lame answer to my question was not one quarter of an apology, but what preceeded it was like, three sixteenths. He said, "I know some of you are here because you're very upset, or you want answers."

He said that because he knows we have a right to them. Not because he was willing to provide.

I'm ten minutes from Avery Brooks/Cirroc Lofton/Penny Jerald, so this post will be updated later.

Okay, it's later.

So then he turns to the left and says, "I'm going to start with this angry-looking young woman here." Drat. I'd tried so hard to hide my fury. Not easy. I was shaking with rage. I've never shaken with rage before.

"Mr. Braga," I asked in what I think was a very calm and reasonable voice considering who I was speaking to, "I just wanted to know that in all your long history with Star Trek is there anything that, looking back now, you wish that you had done, hadn't done, or done differently?"

I wasn't really expecting any kind of apology or statement of wrongdoing, but I so badly wanted him to say, "I'm really sorry for Seven of Nine dressed like she was, I'm sorry for Enterprise being so crappy, I'm sorry for this, I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for All Good Things, I'm sorry for These Are The Voyages, I'm sorry sorry sorry."

Instead he said, "No."

Actually, it was longer than that. But it could be boiled down to "No." It was more like, "Well, I guess I thought we had some great epsiodes we thought were crap and some crappy episodes we thought were great and so I can't go back and say I wish I'd done this or that because I don't know what would happen."

I'd like to stop and analyze that answer for a minute.

So what he's saying is that in fifteen years he never regretted a script, a decision, an episode? This can't have been an unexpected question. There has to have been a moment where he said, "You know, maybe not my best idea." I'll give him some. Gladly.

Okay, I'd better get off this now. If you want to know I'll give you a few dozen.

Two questions later he said he regretted how the final episode turned out. Lie number one, I guess, is buried somewhere in between those two answers. And you know, if he had thought about my question, he wouldn't have had to think very far because that was the last Trek we ever saw.

Then he said he was involved, in a more supervisory way, with Season 4, which just makes me think he must have been lying to me because he followed that up with a variation on "Gosh, I could have been doing that!" Season 4: Enterprise finally living up to its potential when no one was left to watch. And then he said that the cast hated These are the Voyages also, so why did we have to have it? Maybe, you know, if you're realizing that Enterprise does better without you, and you've noticed that reactions to things you do tend to be the exact opposite of what you thought, and the whole cast hates the script, you might, I don't know, not write the thing yourself?

Okay, I'm breathing, I'm calm, I'm stable, I'm not going to kill anyone.

On to the issues raised in Rick Berman's book, which I already blogged about, but simply stated - Rick seems to think that it's all UPN's fault. The network wanted this, the network wanted that, we were just powerless, blah, blah, blah.

Leaving the issues raised by that little beauty aside for the moment (trust me, they will be addressed) I would like to talk about Brannon's response when this topic was raised (and express my love to the person who raised it).

"The studio wasn't involved. They stayed out of it. They got involved when we had a controversial script." That's paraphrased, by the way.

Why do I doubt that? The lying sack of--

Okay, moving on! Really, we'll just

"But," said the fan who asked the question, "didn't you say on the Enterprise DVD's that the studio was involved with the decision making?"

Can I marry this guy? Is he available? Because right then I would have married him in a second. What's his name? Anyone know?

Lie number two. And this time it's on the record in a million homes across America.

"Star Trek was about looking forward, and the studio preferred the 29th century." So they pitched the prequel and the studio didn't like that, so then he said, "Well, I have this temporal cold war idea for a series, let's just throw that in there!"

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

My dad arrived at this time and started asking me a question, I glanced over at him and he jumped back about five feet. I think my glare may have actually scalded his skin.

The topic had moved on to Trip's death. Wanna know why Trip died? Because he was Brannon's favorite character. Read into that one all you want, I don't really feel like psychoanalysing Brannon Freaking Braga right now. Actually, he'd always wanted to do a story with a lot of emotional impact (like a well-loved character dying for no reason? This is not the first season of TNG and Connor is not Denise Crosby you lying sack of--- okay, I'm over it). Okay, so he'd always wanted to do a story with more emotional impact, but he was never allowed to.

Never allowed to? By who? The studio? The network? I thought they weren't involved. At this point I actually heard myself growl. Not just a grunt, but we're talking full-on Worf. Dad jumped a little bit and edged slightly away.

Why did he go to Voyager and not DS9? Well, thank heaven for small favors. Actually, Michael Piller asked him along, which is all kinds of disturbing. He referred to Michael as the Late, Great Michael Piller, by the way, for which I give him kudos even if he was just trying to score points. Anyway, he wanted to see NextGen through and then it was a natural transition to Voyager. So, yay. He didn't wreck DS9.

And then the topic of the anachoronisms in Enterprise was raised, and thankfully he didn't say that we should get a life or any variation thereof because I might have escalated to a full Klingon roar. Instead I contented myself with scribbling furiously in my notebook the words, "Contrary to opinions we payed attention to continuity." He continued to the Vulcan stuff, about the changes in Vulcan culture. He tried to soothe us with the words "Cultures evolve. That was 100 years before Kirk!"

Vulcans live for 200 years you idiot.

Lie number three. Some attention to continuity.

I know that cultures change between lifetimes. Biology and the ability to mind-meld (physical ability which T'Pol did not posess) do not. By the time Tuvok was born, mind-melds were universal on Vulcan. Everyone could do it and it was accepted in the culture. The words "mind-meld community college" were spoken, but luckily my dad was trying to ask me a question right then and I wasn't paying attention. I just caught the phrase.

Lucky for Brannon, that is. And for me, because I'm pretty sure they'd throw me out if I punched a guest.

And all of a sudden, it's all UPN's fault. They hurt Voyager. They hurt Enterprise. Hey, didn't you just say they weren't involved at all?

I started seeing red spots.

And then they vanished when he said, "I am not mentally capable." Of course, that's taken out of context. I couldn't hear the context because of the red spots and the buzzing in my ears, but I plan to misuse that quote for the rest of my life.

He said that if the show had looked like it was before classic Trek, it would have looked cheesy. "It's probably a little more important to make the show look cool," he said. I wonder if he's seen Star Wars Episode III. Because that was brilliant.

By this point I was shaking with rage. I sat through Larry Nemecek, still quaking. Mom got there and asked how it went and I couldn't say anything. Dad said, "I could see smoke coming out of her ears."

I hope Brannon Braga got scalded.

I'm shaking with anger again. I'll finish my post when I'm not.

My Creepy Middle School Crush

This blog was written in pieces throughout the day. Tenses may be a little off. Don't blame me for that - I tried.

George Takei was wonderful. He took a lot of questions and was very patient with his fans. One thing I noticed was that everything seems to be about Japanese internment with him, which is understandable, if irritating. People asked why he took so long to come out, but he says he already was out, he just hadn't talked to the press. He didn't talk to the press because he was worried about what would happen to his career. I think it's just made him more popular, and forced a lot of trekkies to confront their feelings about homosexuality.

Walter Koenig was also wonderful and very funny. He spent a lot of time teasing George, who was backstage, yelling, "George, I can hear you out here!"
The state of Star Trek is pretty damn shitty, if you ask me. He talked a lot about InAlienable, and showed us some world premiere clips of the new movie, which looks awesome. Walter cast his daughter, who is a stand-up comic, in one role, and Marina is playing a role that originally was going to Bob Picardo but that didn't work out because Walter was suppossed to go on the cruise, but then he didn't so he could film the movie, so then Bob replaced him. That's in case you care and I'm just realizing now how insane that sounds and how much you probably do not care one bitty bit.

And then I walked myself up to the room, and I left my notebook and my keycard. My Nichelle Nichols encounter was next. No notebook. Very sad.

Lucky for me, the front of my program was completely blank. Well, not blank, but it just had pictures on it, so I figured I'd take notes on that. Nichelle was very nice to everyone, and started with the questions right away, pretty much, and they asked about everything. They asked about her son's reaction to her being on Star Trek (positive) and about Uhura's relationship with Scotty (if you've seen V recently, you get that) and she actually told a very funny story about where that came from.

See, the joke on the set was that Nichelle and Jimmy were the "old married couple". They would friendly snipe at each other and tease each other and Jimmy was the crochety old man and when he had a heart attack Nichelle rushed to his side and said, "If you'd died on me I would have killed you." Stuff like that. So naturally, when Harve Bennett learned about this, it was worked into the script for V.

She talked about being in Are We There Yet? as a favor to Ice Cube. Some favor. She also shared details of "Of Gods and Men". The set, she said, is so realistic that when she walked onto it in the movie and said her line "As I live and breathe..." she didn't even have to act. That set is amazing. She told the Martin Luther King story. I love that story.

And then they did the State of Star Trek. And I decided to kill J.J.

Ten minutes before, I wouldn't have said that. I was happy with the new movie, J.J. Abrams, the works, right. Especially the part of M:I3 where they tell Tom Cruise he has an explosive in his head...

But I digress.

It's all over now. Kid gloves off, and if J.J. wants my loyalty back in any measure, he's gonna have to work his ass off.

See, J.J. didn't show up.

He's suppossed to be here, right now, as I write this. He's suppossed to be sitting in the sixth chair of the State of Star Trek panel, waiting for his turn (last, of course, for the movie publicity).

He didn't show.

He's not here.

It's a lack of respect for the fans, for the world into which he's entering. Now, if I see on the net tonight that his mother died today, I will forgive him. If his house burned down, if his dog got ran over, if Tom Cruise showed up and demanded surgery to remove the explosive from his brain, appendicitis, a really bad cold, the works. There is someone from CBS joking about James Van Der Beek as Kirk. They're doing some new marketing, there's manga, there's comics, there's some new books (including Captain Kirk's Guide to Women), but J.J. was suppossed to be here. He didn't show.

I want him to have appendicitis, or be held hostage by Tom Cruise. I want these things because I don't enjoy being let down, and I REALLY don't like being let down by Star Trek. I wish right now that I don't care so much as I do. Sometimes, you know, I wonder if I'm still a fan or I'm just used to it. Now I know. Definitely a fan.

They just announced that they're making a Martok action figure and an Ezri figure. Happy happy.

Okay, and then there was D.C. Fontana. Adam totally hogged her, but I got the first question - how did she feel about having established so much of the canon? She said she just made it up, and they had someone whose job it was to keep the continuity going. I think that position may have fallen victim to budget cuts before Enterprise came along. She was amazingly patient and had tons of information and real-world knowledge of the very beginning of, well, my life, as odd as it may sound.

And then they announced she was gonna do autographs. For everyone.

Well, wait a minute. I didn't have anything for her to autograph. I'd just written all over my program! Well, I could just run out and get one -

But then, right then, came Dominic Keating and Connor Trineer. These were half the reason Enterprise was tolerable! (T'Pol, as much as it pains me to say it, and various random decent moments are the other half.) This was tragic!

Just then my parents got back from wherever they'd gone, bearing a program. I managed to pry the program away from my dad and happily got in line when they called my row, able to listen to Dominic's repeated requests for more beer, Connor's constant being cut off, the insults, the laughter, and the story about Dominic signing the knickers (british word for panties) worn by Connor in one epsiode of season 1 for a transvestite at a previous convention. I should mention that the woman was wearing them at the time.

Some people...

Terry Farrell was up right away afterwards, and we finally learned the truth about why she left. She asked for more money, Rick Berman said no, and you know what that means in showbiz. The ax. Or the mystical energy to the stomach, whatever. She talked about her son, Max, and her husband. She seems very happy and I think she had a good time. It's been years since she did a con, so we were lucky to be able to see her. They showed a Jadzia music video that made me tear up - I really loved the character and it was hard to lose her.

I skipped the Okudas and went to Borg War. Big. Damn. Mistake. That's all I'll say.

Okay, plot holes the size of Jupiter. Now I'm done.

And then it was time for... The Party.

I missed meeting Connor, but I did meet Garrett Wang, who was not supposed to be here, but there he was. Ohmigod! I ran up to meet him. "I have to tell you," I said, "you were my creepy middle school crush!" I think that was way better than some generic "I love you!" or "You should have been promoted." He laughed and thanked me and posed for a picture with me. God, I love him! Still!

I met some Trekkies and we went for a drink afterward. I explained my Nemesis theory to a guy from Illinois. Sometime I'll detail it here, probably adjacent to a Nemesis viewing.

I'll post this tomorrow. Please comment if you're reading!


Friday, August 10, 2007

My Meeting with Wil Wheaton is at the end of this post.

What a day.

First of all, I should mention that this is being posted late for a very good reason: the damn hotel charges ELEVEN DOLLARS for internet. That's per day, by the way. So I was like, "Shit, no." And my parents were like, "Shit, no." Only they don't say shit very often. Anyway, it was universally agreed upon that eleven dollars per day is a ripoff and will not be tolerated and by tolerated I mean they won't spend that kind of money on my blog, which, let's face it, neither will I. I'll post this when I get home and you'll be glad of it.

Now, on to the good stuff.

I got up at six am, which after four hours of sleep is not a pretty place to be. Got a shower in, got dressed, packed up my various shirts, and headed off to Convention city. I sat in line for a good two hours before picking up my lanyard and wristband, and then I was in. And oh, what a joy indeed.

I think I'm still in shock, actually. Like it hasn't sunk in where I am and what I'm doing here. Star Trek Convention. Star. Trek. Convention. Yeah, still not feeling it. Or maybe I'm just getting calmer in my old age.

BTW, today is my 24th birthday.

Back to my day. After a quick tour of the DeForest Kelly room (selling stuff), I proceeded to sit through several hours of guest speakers. My ass hurts now. First I sat through three music videos: Killer Queen, about the Borg Queen (all First Contact footage, thank God); one with a lot of drinking from Classic Trek (they did drink a lot); one of Picard and Q to the tune of "You've Got a Friend in Me"; and one called "Paradox", to the tune of..."Paradox". Basically, it was all the contradictions from TNG. Very funny. And throughout it, Jimmy Doohan as Scotty loads the program on the holodeck, enters, and walks across the bridge, all spaced out throughout the video. Very cool tribute. Then there was a Voyager "Highway to Hell" video, which convinced me that Voyager was destroyed at least four times as much as every other ship. Remember the TNG ep "Cause and Effect" where the Enterprise kept blowing up? Remember how upsetting those previews were? Voyager previews like that actually stopped upsetting me at some point. That's when you know the ship spends too much time in pieces.

And then Susie Plakson and Patti Yasutake got there. Susie Plakson is releasing a country album. Sudden mental image of K'Eyhlar with a guitar. Patti Yasutake has returned to the theater. Both seem very happy. Scarlett Pomers was running late, but she got there later in the afternoon.

Tim Russ came on next. He talked about his new project, the ABC sitcom that has just been retitled for the second time, Samantha Who?. He also talked about Of Gods and Men, which should have the first act out in September. Dear God in heaven, that's taking forever. Really, he was a little boring. I was disappointed, but then no one would ever mistake Tuvok for my favorite character.

Bob Justman was on next. I got the chance to ask him how he thought Gene would have reacted to DS9 but he didn't have a good answer. I think he sounded a little incoherent and it made me scared for him and his health - but he's got to be past eighty now. He showed an interview with several people, including De Kelley, Bill Shatner, Harlan Ellison, and Gene himself. He also said he's thrilled with J.J. Abrams and his work with Mission: Impossible, which he worked on at some point (the TV show) and his potential for Star Trek. It was almost like getting Gene's blessing, but of course not quite.

Rod Roddenberry is someone I will never see again. All about the damn website, which I actually love but I don't need a site tour, thanks. I would have loved to hear about his father, about the early days, about what he remembers from the beginning - after all, this is the man dedicated to carrying Gene's legacy. He is Gene's legacy - but he's not interested in talking about it, I guess. He did say his mother (Majel) is doing well, which is good, 'cause she's also in her eighties.

Dwight Schultz was hilarious, kept going on and on about how he got the role of Barclay (he did a show with Whoopi Goldberg and told her what a fan he was, she had them write a character for him, and then... it was a geek. And he was like, "How did you know?!?!") and how he got inspiration for the character from his friend John. A roach crawled across the stage - I think. He kept talking about the roach and then someone squished it with their shoe. He related how the fans held the power, still do, but in TNG they could still use it. He talked about working on the A-Team. And then he had one minute left, so there was no Q&A. It was quite tragic, really.

Scarlett Pomers took Louise Fletcher's slot. I forgot what she was doing, but she cancelled a couple of days ago. Scarlett said she decided she wants to be an actress for the rest of her life while working on Voyager, at the tender age of nine. She reminded us about her upcoming horror film, which I've already ridiculed in an earlier Blog post. It's called Kentucky Fried Horror Show, for crying out loud! It has the Duff sisters in it!

I got a break then, and spent half an hour wandering the vendors' room. Some of the stuff was awesome. One of the TNG guest stars was there - the guy from "Balance of Terror" who calls the Enterprise to tell them they're under attack. Anyway, he was a little scary, sitting there singing to himself, so I just kept walking. Also, Alexander from "Plato's Stepchildren" was set up next to him. I didn't stop to chat. I did enter the drawing at, the drawing for a copy of Tim Russ's childrens' book (Yep.), and the drawing at this booth that was selling paperback Star Trek books (3 for a dollar). Hoping to win some prizes, so we'll see.

Catherine Hicks was a joy. Did you know her husband is the guy who invented Chucky? She's also done a play with Robert Picardo. I got to ask her a question, and she said she does still get fan mail for Gillian Taylor. Also, she told me she and Stephen Collins got to joke about their Star Trek movies all the time. She kept telling him "my movie was better than your movie", which, let's face it, it really was. She promised to return next year if she's invited. She took a lot of time for Q&A, which I have to give her credit for. Everyone kept telling her how TVH was their favorite movie. She also revealed that she actually slapped the jerky boss in the scene where she realizes that the whales have been sent away. Not stage slap, real slap.

LeVar Burton was next, and he was wonderful. He said he wants another NextGen movie, and someone yelled "Captain LaForge!", to which he replied, "Over Patrick's dead body. No, seriously. Over his dead body." He said he did his final episode of Reading Rainbow about a year ago. Mostly he's directing now, a few commercials and an independent feature after Labor Day. And then the Q&A began.

I really wanted to ask him what his most exciting scene was, because Geordi had so much to do standing around the Master Situation Monitor spewing technobabble, but I never got the chance. I never got the chance because he was so patient with everyone. He was patient with the people who brought their dogs to the stage to introduce them to LeVar (Data and Tasha Yar, who were introduced to every celebrity after LeVar), and he was patient to the man in the orange shirt, and he was kind to the woman in purple who asked three questions even though everyone else only got one or two. In fact, I found myself wishing he was just a little meaner. He answered questions thoroughly to the best of his ability, no matter how stupid they were, no matter how much they were just asking him to repeat stuff he'd already talked about.

Gates McFadden also wants a new movie. She's a lot of fun, but I'm not a big fan. It wasn't until today I realized she's a stage actress, not a screen actress, which may be a large portion of my problem. I finally figured out where she got her name - sort of. Turns out her name at birth is Sheryl Gates McFadden - Gates is what she uses for her screen name. Okay, but still, where did Gates come from?

And then I took a little bit of a break, which was heaven, and then it was time for Wil Wheaton. I'd been looking forward to this for several reasons. First, I'm a huge Wesley fan. Second, I think Wil is the best kind of celebrity. Third, Wil is who I want to be in eleven years. He's a successful author with a great sense of humor who keeps himself very down-to-earth and in touch with his fans. He read from the new book (name I forgot) and from his collection of Star Trek reviews. I bought one of those from him after standing in line for forty-five-minutes.

I will interject here to say that I read Wil's blog daily. He wrote a week or so ago about how, as a "second-tier" guest, he does not get three free nights at the Hilton - just two. He thinks this is stupid, so he won't shell out for a third night, which I don't blame him for. Anyway, I bought some cheap t-shirts and painted witty slogans on them like "Take the cheese to sickbay" and "Logical". In honor of Wil's ire (and as a show of geek solidarity) I wrote on one, "Wil is not second tier".

Now get back to meeting Wil. My idol. I was, of course, wearing the shirt. I have several made for specific events throughout the four days. So here's me, in front of Wil himself, and he kind of glances at me and goes, "What does your shirt say?"

I stepped back so he could read it.

He did. Then he blinked at me for a minute and said, "You're friggin' awesome."

I pulled one of his limited-edition books out of the box and said, "Thank you. I'll take one of these."

"What's your name?"

"Gillian. With a 'g'."

He signed it: "To Gillian, You're Awesome. Wil Wheaton."

"I can't wait to tell Anne," he said. Anne is his wife.

I shook his hand. "Thank you very much," I said, grinning like an idiot. And then I left.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Waiting for the Plane

Well, I'm on my way now. Got my convention ticket, got my boarding pass, just waiting for the plane with it's HOUR DELAY. Still, I feel that I'm pretty lucky - I did it. I'm off to join the World of the Nerds - to take my place in the world I've always belonged to, as it were.

I feel kind of like Harry Potter right now.

Monday, August 6, 2007


I saw a new article on Trekdom that would have me believe that I've been vilifying the wrong men for the last fifteen years. Seems that Berman would have us believe that he and Braga are innocent after all. He says it was all UPN's idea - a good scapegoat, the dead network whose parent company has just been bought out and all the suits replaced. He's working on his memoirs.

I wonder if we'll ever know the truth.

The truth is, Berman's got to want to save face. This is the man handpicked by Gene Roddenberry himself to lead Star Trek into a new era... and he lost it. Ouch.

Also, let's have a review of the facts.

Berman could have quit. He could have shown an ounce of Gene's strength from the third season of TOS. What's so important about the third season of TOS, you ask? Didn't it get the show cancelled?

Yes, we answer, it did. Because Gene moved off the lot. NBC promised a good timeslot, the show that had that timeslot threw a fit, Star Trek got exiled to Friday nights at ten, and Gene said, "Give the time slot back or I quit." And the network called his bluff. And so he quit, moved off the lot, and the show lost big time.

The important thing was that he had the integrity not just to keep fighting but to stop fighting. There was call for more Trek later. So he answered the call, and we got movies. There was call for a series and he agreed - so long as the series would never be under network control again.

The funny thing is that TNG and DS9 were never under network control. That honor fell to Voyager, and Enterprise - the two shows that let us down time after time after time. Berman says he objected to Boob of Nine wearing the catsuit, he says he objected and argued over the sexy decontamination scenes, he says he fought the suits over everything the fans hate...

But he didn't fight like Gene would have fought. He could have said, "Fine. I won't do this to Star Trek. I won't do this to Gene, who left me his legacy and trusted me and chose me to do this over his own wife..." He could have quit. He could have walked out the door of the soundstage one day and straight into the crowd of people you know are just hanging around waiting for autographs and told us what was happening. He could have gone to a newspaper. He could have called one of the fanzine writers and begged for an interview. He would have gotten it and we all know it.

Sure, he would have been out of a job. Like Gene would have let that stop him. You're in Hollywood, Berman! Unemployment happens!

And if this is the truth, how do you explain the nasty comments he sent our way about how the fans read way too much into everything and pay too much attention. How do you pay too much attention to something you love that much? If Brannon Braga objected so strongly as Berman says, why was he screwing the woman in the catsuit who got all the screen time?

No, something is definitely off here. I never saw UPN as innocent, but I don't think Berman's as innocent as he would have us believe either.

Two Days Left

Packing is coming along nicely and I'm all brushed up on my trivia. Just need to figure out which books to take.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I hate Robert Picardo's website.

So you click into his website, and a (loud) voice says "This is Robert Picardo." Which is fine, if weird. And then the same loud voice continues to say "This is Robert Picardo" every single time you click to a new page.

Now, I find this annoying. Like we don't know we're on Robert Picardo's webpage? And what's so great about getting there because it's not easily navigable. Obviously only the highly intelligent and supremely tolerant are worthy of being Picardo's fans.

Oh you have got to be kidding!

The cast sheet for the new movie is out! Everything on it ends in an exclaimation point! Like, Kirk must be six feet or under! And the guy who plays Scotty must be able to do a flawless Scottish accent! At least they remembered to put flawless in there! Oh, and Uhura is a tomboy! I didn't know that! I hope you knew that!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Damn Cat

Now she's gone and disabled my wireless. Should be up again before the convention, though.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Convention

The schedule is finally out, but not final. I have made my notes on my plans based on the schedule they sent us, though.

Sounds like they'll be playing a music video every three seconds. Hope those aren't crap.

So, on my birthday, I'm going to go see Scarlet Pomers (Naomi), Susie Plakson (K'eyhlar and others), and Patti Yasutake (Alyssa Ogawa); then Tim Russ (why is he on so early?); Bob Justman; Rod Roddenberry (Malachi Throne is on at the same time and I had a serious debate about that so Rod had better be good.); Dwight Schultz (Barclay); Louise Fletcher (Kai Winn); Catherine Hicks (Gillian Taylor herself, who I'll be missing the blooper reel for); LeVar Burton; Gates McFadden (but only because I don't have anything better do to, I don't like her that much); Richard Arnold (The World's leading Star Trek scholar); and then Wil Wheaton.

The next day is going to be George Takei; Walter Koenig; Ronald B. Moore (one of the producers); Nichelle Nichols; The Borg War Trailer (more about this later); D.C. Fontana; Dominic Keating and Connor Trineer (but again, only because I'll have nothing better to do); Terry Farrell (who is on at the same time as the De Kelley tribute and I really had to think about that. In fact, I may change my mind when I get there); Gene Roddenberry interview clips; and then the problem. See, Michael and Denise Okuda come on ten minutes after the start of Borg War. I think I kind of want to see Borg War. I also really really really really want to see the Okudas. My problem, ladies and gentlemen.

Anyway, Saturday will get me Nana Visitor and Rene Auberjonois; Kristine M. Smith (the woman who was De Kelley's caregiver and is the reason I feel I can miss the memorial thing for Terry Farrell); Marc Alaimo (Dukat), Casey Biggs (Damar), and Andrew Robinson (Garak); Brannon Braga (who shall be put to death if he doesn't apologize to us); Larry Nemecek; Jonathan Frakes and Brent Spiner; Kate Mulgrew; Avery Brooks, Penny Jerald, and Cirroc Lofton (the Siskos); David A. Williams (presentation on SETI type things); and the concert.

The last day features Robert O'Reilley (Gowron); Nick Meyer; The State of Star Trek address; Leonard Nimoy; William Shatner; Leondard Nimoy and William Shatner (together); Nicole de Boer; Jeffrey Combs, Wallace Shawn, Armin Shimerman, and Max Grodenchik (Four of the five regular Ferengi from DS9); Some awards; and then the farewell.

I leave one week from today.

Kirk/Spock Shippers

I've been reading some K/S fanfic lately, mostly to see what I'm missing. The majority of fanfic, I should say first, is crap. It's dull and boring and enitrely lame. Generally you want to find a website that accepts submissions, not someone's personal website, which is usually a festering crapfest.

I went looking because I was curious. Someone had asked a question on one of the boards about how Shatner and Nimoy feel about K/S fic. The consensus was that they are amused by it, by the way. Anyway, it was something I've never considered before. Not that I've never thought about it, but seeking K/S out to actually see how people would possibly make it believable.

Which is when I discovered the online K/S zines. And you never know, until you read it, whether it's going to be as borderline offensive as Harry/Hermione or as ridiculous as Harry/Ron or as believable as Will/Deanna. But after I read it, I knew it was somewhere between Harry/Ron and Harry/Hermione.

First there's the fact that Kirk is something of a galactic playboy, and no one seems to be writing them in an open relationship. In fact, there's some people who would have them bonded just after "Amok Time". And then there's the relationship itself. I can't see either of them actually saying many of the things these fanfic authors say. In the fanfic world, we call this OOC - Out Of Character. And then there's the one where Kirk and Spock go to Pride weekend in San Francisco.

You heard me.

Now, I have no problem with the concept, and I think that Kirk and Spock obviously had a very strong relationship based on mutual respect and affection. Whether this resulted in smoochies is anyone's guess, but what I don't understand are the people who, when this topic was raised on the boards, said they were offended by it. So what if Kirk and Spock were screwing - we love them anyway.