Saturday, August 11, 2007

What do you do when you meet the man who ruined your life?

First, Rene Auberjonois and Nana Visitor were on, and they were hilarious. All the questions were for Rene, and you could tell they were just having an awesome time. Nana is doing her show and Rene is working on his art.

Marc Alaimo, Andy Robinson, and Casey Biggs were also wonderful. My question didn't stand a chance, but that's okay. They were friendly and amusing, and Casey did his death scene again, collapsing into Andy's arms and damaging Andy's mike. Andy talked about doing Dirty Harry and they said there are no plans for a movie, dammit. Casey said we'll still be there in fifty years. He thinks Trek is eternal. Pretty cool. Nana and Rene came onstage briefly to give them each a hug and say hi.

I took an interlude at this point, because I knew what was coming and I didn't want to miss out. I went to see Wil Wheaton and got him to pose for a photo. He was wonderful, very warm and funny, when I told him what I was going to do, and he even thanked me for doing it.

So, as for what I was going to do, here we go. First, some clarification on the title. My life, of course, revolves around Star Trek. I have tried and failed to change this and eventually I decided that Star Trek is the medium in which I work. I'm stuck with it and it's stuck with me. So if Star Trek is my life, what is Brannon Braga?

Because he was here today.

I considered missing that part of the show, but I just couldn't. I had to know. I considered several questions, among them, "If I asked nicely would you fall on your head and drown in your own barf?" and "How do you sleep at night?" but I settled for "What would you change?"

Simple question, really. He had to know it was coming.

To be fair, I should add that Brannon didn't ruin my life singlehandedly. He had help. I have divided the responsibility between him, Rick Berman, the studio/network, and various random factors that can impact a show, and decided that he was precisely one-quarter of the problem which means he owes me one-quarter of an apology. His lame answer to my question was not one quarter of an apology, but what preceeded it was like, three sixteenths. He said, "I know some of you are here because you're very upset, or you want answers."

He said that because he knows we have a right to them. Not because he was willing to provide.

I'm ten minutes from Avery Brooks/Cirroc Lofton/Penny Jerald, so this post will be updated later.

Okay, it's later.

So then he turns to the left and says, "I'm going to start with this angry-looking young woman here." Drat. I'd tried so hard to hide my fury. Not easy. I was shaking with rage. I've never shaken with rage before.

"Mr. Braga," I asked in what I think was a very calm and reasonable voice considering who I was speaking to, "I just wanted to know that in all your long history with Star Trek is there anything that, looking back now, you wish that you had done, hadn't done, or done differently?"

I wasn't really expecting any kind of apology or statement of wrongdoing, but I so badly wanted him to say, "I'm really sorry for Seven of Nine dressed like she was, I'm sorry for Enterprise being so crappy, I'm sorry for this, I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for All Good Things, I'm sorry for These Are The Voyages, I'm sorry sorry sorry."

Instead he said, "No."

Actually, it was longer than that. But it could be boiled down to "No." It was more like, "Well, I guess I thought we had some great epsiodes we thought were crap and some crappy episodes we thought were great and so I can't go back and say I wish I'd done this or that because I don't know what would happen."

I'd like to stop and analyze that answer for a minute.

So what he's saying is that in fifteen years he never regretted a script, a decision, an episode? This can't have been an unexpected question. There has to have been a moment where he said, "You know, maybe not my best idea." I'll give him some. Gladly.

Okay, I'd better get off this now. If you want to know I'll give you a few dozen.

Two questions later he said he regretted how the final episode turned out. Lie number one, I guess, is buried somewhere in between those two answers. And you know, if he had thought about my question, he wouldn't have had to think very far because that was the last Trek we ever saw.

Then he said he was involved, in a more supervisory way, with Season 4, which just makes me think he must have been lying to me because he followed that up with a variation on "Gosh, I could have been doing that!" Season 4: Enterprise finally living up to its potential when no one was left to watch. And then he said that the cast hated These are the Voyages also, so why did we have to have it? Maybe, you know, if you're realizing that Enterprise does better without you, and you've noticed that reactions to things you do tend to be the exact opposite of what you thought, and the whole cast hates the script, you might, I don't know, not write the thing yourself?

Okay, I'm breathing, I'm calm, I'm stable, I'm not going to kill anyone.

On to the issues raised in Rick Berman's book, which I already blogged about, but simply stated - Rick seems to think that it's all UPN's fault. The network wanted this, the network wanted that, we were just powerless, blah, blah, blah.

Leaving the issues raised by that little beauty aside for the moment (trust me, they will be addressed) I would like to talk about Brannon's response when this topic was raised (and express my love to the person who raised it).

"The studio wasn't involved. They stayed out of it. They got involved when we had a controversial script." That's paraphrased, by the way.

Why do I doubt that? The lying sack of--

Okay, moving on! Really, we'll just

"But," said the fan who asked the question, "didn't you say on the Enterprise DVD's that the studio was involved with the decision making?"

Can I marry this guy? Is he available? Because right then I would have married him in a second. What's his name? Anyone know?

Lie number two. And this time it's on the record in a million homes across America.

"Star Trek was about looking forward, and the studio preferred the 29th century." So they pitched the prequel and the studio didn't like that, so then he said, "Well, I have this temporal cold war idea for a series, let's just throw that in there!"

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

My dad arrived at this time and started asking me a question, I glanced over at him and he jumped back about five feet. I think my glare may have actually scalded his skin.

The topic had moved on to Trip's death. Wanna know why Trip died? Because he was Brannon's favorite character. Read into that one all you want, I don't really feel like psychoanalysing Brannon Freaking Braga right now. Actually, he'd always wanted to do a story with a lot of emotional impact (like a well-loved character dying for no reason? This is not the first season of TNG and Connor is not Denise Crosby you lying sack of--- okay, I'm over it). Okay, so he'd always wanted to do a story with more emotional impact, but he was never allowed to.

Never allowed to? By who? The studio? The network? I thought they weren't involved. At this point I actually heard myself growl. Not just a grunt, but we're talking full-on Worf. Dad jumped a little bit and edged slightly away.

Why did he go to Voyager and not DS9? Well, thank heaven for small favors. Actually, Michael Piller asked him along, which is all kinds of disturbing. He referred to Michael as the Late, Great Michael Piller, by the way, for which I give him kudos even if he was just trying to score points. Anyway, he wanted to see NextGen through and then it was a natural transition to Voyager. So, yay. He didn't wreck DS9.

And then the topic of the anachoronisms in Enterprise was raised, and thankfully he didn't say that we should get a life or any variation thereof because I might have escalated to a full Klingon roar. Instead I contented myself with scribbling furiously in my notebook the words, "Contrary to opinions we payed attention to continuity." He continued to the Vulcan stuff, about the changes in Vulcan culture. He tried to soothe us with the words "Cultures evolve. That was 100 years before Kirk!"

Vulcans live for 200 years you idiot.

Lie number three. Some attention to continuity.

I know that cultures change between lifetimes. Biology and the ability to mind-meld (physical ability which T'Pol did not posess) do not. By the time Tuvok was born, mind-melds were universal on Vulcan. Everyone could do it and it was accepted in the culture. The words "mind-meld community college" were spoken, but luckily my dad was trying to ask me a question right then and I wasn't paying attention. I just caught the phrase.

Lucky for Brannon, that is. And for me, because I'm pretty sure they'd throw me out if I punched a guest.

And all of a sudden, it's all UPN's fault. They hurt Voyager. They hurt Enterprise. Hey, didn't you just say they weren't involved at all?

I started seeing red spots.

And then they vanished when he said, "I am not mentally capable." Of course, that's taken out of context. I couldn't hear the context because of the red spots and the buzzing in my ears, but I plan to misuse that quote for the rest of my life.

He said that if the show had looked like it was before classic Trek, it would have looked cheesy. "It's probably a little more important to make the show look cool," he said. I wonder if he's seen Star Wars Episode III. Because that was brilliant.

By this point I was shaking with rage. I sat through Larry Nemecek, still quaking. Mom got there and asked how it went and I couldn't say anything. Dad said, "I could see smoke coming out of her ears."

I hope Brannon Braga got scalded.

I'm shaking with anger again. I'll finish my post when I'm not.

1 comment:

  1. I'm right there with you. Brandon Barga is guilty as charged. He took Gene Roddenberry's wonderful vision and all the hard work of the collevetice casts and traded it in for sh*t.