Saturday, December 10, 2011

Merengue is also good: a tale of 2 lovers, two "lovers", two not lovers, and one acting ensign turned ensign.

TNG: Menage A Troi
They let some Ferengi onboard for a closing reception for a trade confrence on Betazed where some alien plays annoying music and Riker beats the Ferengi at chess. The Ferengi rightly calls the music noise when he loses.

Picard talks to some leader named Rikan and they all bond over how annoying the Ferengi are and how nice it is that Lwaxana and Deanna can get together.

Lwaxana and Deanna are fighting. In telepath. Deanna gets Lwaxana to talk out loud and probably wshes her mom would shut up because the talking is now about the fact that Deanna's not married. Will comes along and Deanna runs off with him.

The Ferengi are watching Lwaxana. One of them thinks she's hot and wants to date her and have her read minds for him. She tries to get Picard to rescue her but he runs off to show off the doors on the aft turbolifts to Rikan. The Ferengi tries to buy her but she rebuffs him. Loudly. Deanna has a headache. The other Ferengi, played by Ethan Phillips, gloats. And the DaiMon, Tog, vows, "Lwaxana Troi,you will be mine."



Later, Deanna asks Worf if they're at war with the Ferengi. Worf admires Lwaxana for what she did.

Deanna then goes to see Lwaxana. She is pisssssssed that the Ferengi dared touch the Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Riix. Deanna reminds her "the Sacred Chalice of Riix is an old clay pot with mold growing inside it." Lol. They discuss how Deanna is childless and therefore, by lwaxanas definition, unhappy. Lwaxana accuses Deanna of ruining things with Will. Deanna tells her to stop calling her little one and "address me as an adult" before stomping out of the room with all the emotional maturity of a three year old. Parents.

Wes is leaving. He has made some huge scientific breakthrough and Will and Picard tell him he got into Starfleet Academy as soon as he finishes the oral exam. Wes haters, please do not take the dirty joke on that one. Picard also sends Will on vacation on Betazed with Deanna, because putting them in the same solar system with Lwaxana seems like a really great idea right now.

They go on a nice walk to find some exotic plant from when they lived there before when the dating happened that we never hear the whole story of unless you believe Peter David. Lwaxana crashes right when they're about to kiss and the shippers die inside. She passes out food. They wish she'd pass out. She hints about how Will and Deanna should get married. Will tries to calm her down. Daimon Tog then beams down to get Lwaxana. "I don't believe this" says Deanna. He kidnaps them all - except poor Mr. Homn, who has gone to pick some uttaberries. He comes back with a basket of berries and finds an empty picnic blanket.


They wake in a holding cell. No communications, force field, the usual. Then Deanna and Lwaxana are beamed out of heir clothing and into Tog's office naked because "females do not deserve the honor of clothing". Great. They grab a couple of blankets. It occurs to me that Lwaxana was nude at least twice on NextGen, which is an interesting choice for Gene to sign off on. Tog comes in and introduces his business proposition, where Lwaxana does his mind reading for him. Lwaxana decides to play along. Since Togs creepy sidekick hereafter known as "NotNeelix" wants to, like , dissect Deanna, they send Deanna back to Will. Tog grins and pulls a bed out of the wall.

Wes is gonna get into the Academy. But they don't know he'll come back to the Enterprise. He is sad.

Deanna and Will are worried. Will tries to teach his guards chess.

Lwaxana has Tog's attention. He is really gullible. Like really really. She has to kiss him. Just as a side note, Majel is awesome at this, she does the best fake interested ever. It's kind of like when Lilly Kane in Veronica Mars does her impersonation of her parents having sex (which is both hilarious and kind of sick) where her mom is yawning... like that.

Deanna winces.


The ship continues its survey.

Will is still locked up but he convinces the guard to let him out to play chess.

Lwaxana stalls by talking about other romances, then oomoxng the Tog. This is where they made up oomox, BTW.

Will knocked out his opponet. Shocker. They get out to send a message but they need tog's access code so Deanna telepaths Lwaxana. Lwaxana awaits her opportunity.

The Enterprise is on its way back when Betazed calls to tell them about the kidnapping.

Tog is happy. She goes to make him a drink and asks for his acess code and almost gets it but NotNeelix comes in and stops him. He convinces Tog to let him study her instead, because he doesn't believe women should be in positions of power.


The search continues. They find Ferengi flowers in the pond at the park and realize what's up and go after the Ferengi.

Will gets a message out in the static but he doesn't know anyone will get it or understand it. They really should have a protocol for these things.

Lwaxana is in pain. Deanna can feel it.

Wes has to leave nowish but he doesn't want to. They can't find the Ferengi ship. Wes thinks he hears something but can't figure out what. He has to go, though, like really really now, so he gets in the turbolift. He hugs his Mom goodbye and is literally on the transporter when he realizes it was the static. So instead of beaming over an then calling Picard and telling him what's up, Wesley haters everywhere are saddened that he runs back to the Bridge (Wil, I should tell you I actually love Wes. I just know that some don't.)


The transport ship leaves without Wes. He hears the sound of the "music" from the reception, so they follow the music...

Wil and Deanna rescue Lwaxana. Tog comes in, armed. Lwaxana tries to trade herself for Will and Deanna's freedom. The Enterprise arrives and the Ferengi let Will and Deanna go but Lwaxana said she wants to stay, so, well, you see the problem.

On the bridge, Picard does all he can to get Lwaxaa back. Including recite Shakespeare. Lots of stammering. Fun times. Lots of blinking. Lwaxana tells Picard "you can't keep killing all my lovers!" Picard orders weapons and keeps quoting sonnets. They send her back and she sits on Picard's lap happily. For a telepath, she's surprisingly in the dark about his intentions.

And then Picard promotes Wes, and the haters cry because he's got a field commission to Ensign, and I'm pretty sure that's not how field commissions were desinged to be done, but okay, sure whatever. I still like him. They take Lwaxana home and Wes has a real uniform. Lol. "Shut up, Wesley!"