Sunday, March 6, 2011

Things I learned from TJ Hooker

If you buy alcohol from the back of a van in front of a high school sance for $4 a bottle, it is stolen.

Fingerprints are for wusses.

Hair should be big. The bigger the better.

If you drink, you have a drinking problem. Unless your name is Hooker.

Coed football exists. It hilights the equality of the sexes. (On TJ Hooker, women wear skirts and man the desk.)

Stepping on silent alarms gets people killed or robbed harder, and should be avoided at all costs.

People who own stores have accents.

Crime is bad.

An airplane can take off any direction, even with Shatner hanging off the wing.

Do not have a bad attitude or the other bad guys will kill you.

Do not have a desire to help or the bad guys will kill you.

If you have an old friend, he's probably into something bad.

Sometimes there is a gorilla. Don't question the gorilla.

Composite artists are always accurate.

When you work for the bad guys, they are evil.

If you are a cop who is not Hooker, you will be dying soon.

Thieves steal a car to commit crime when they could just use their own.