Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Broken Bow


I know a lot of people won't be happy that I'm doing this.

Sadly, I don't care.

I want everyone to know, though, that it wasn't easy for me.

My history with Enterprise began on the day Enterprise began in 2001. I was excited, a little scared, and very very happy that Star Trek was continuing.

By the credits, I was in tears. I never watched an episode of the original run again.

I've seen it, of course, but not because I particularly wanted to. After it was over, I watched a few of the DVDs from Netflix. I sat through Connor and Dominic at the Vegas con, and I even watched the Anthony Montgomery segment (boring, FYI) but I never took the time to enjoy Enterprise.

I don't intend this entry to be a laundry list of complaints aimed at Brannon Braga's head, but I do want to rewatch Broken Bow and give Enterprise another chance - this time the whole show, with a lot of preconceptions and having read all the transcripts. I don't expect to be pleased, but I do expect to be more levelheaded than I was at eighteen.

Without further ado...

I think, at the time, we weren't ready to take a lot on faith. Production wise, it would have been better for the Klingon in the cornfield to be a TOS Klingon, and let the fans breathe a sigh of relief. I also think that introducing the Suliban at this stage was a very risky move, and the fans were not ready to accept risk like that after Voyager.

And the theme song was a mistake. First, the song part. And also the title of the show - no Star Trek. That was a mistake. Because while the fans have "faith of the heart", we also have the strength to walk away when we are displeased - unlike, apparently, Rick Berman.

So, yeah, the first four minutes were a disappointment. Even the opening lines, and the spacedock aren't enough to counteract what has been done by the first four minutes.

The depiction of the Vulcans is also very disappointing. They were supposed to FIX our problems, not help to cause them. And there are Klingon cultural inconsistencies that date back to the first season of TNG. That's more than a decade. The transporter looks better than Kirk's did - more futuristic. There's Brannon's little philosophy come to life.

And having Porthos around doesn't seem that great an idea. T'Pol's such a bitch that I can't imagine she came from the same planet as the same people who saved humanity in First Contact. Good movie.

They got James Cromwell to reprise Cochrane and coin the phrases that are known in the openings of TOS and TNG. That still doesn't make up for what seemed so frighteningly wrong with this show.

Again, I feel that including the Suliban this early in the game is a bad idea, because if it's not working (which it isn't), there won't be any more chances.

Which, for Brannon Braga and Rick Berman, there aren't, of course.

I keep trying to think if Spock or Tuvok ever ate with their hands. Not to mention Vorik or Sarek.

The controls look NOTHING like the ones on TOS. More like TNG with physical things to manipulate. URGH! Ugly and inconsistent. Also the fact that they are so different from TOS aliens is disturbing to me, because this is, you know PRE-TOS. It should be kinda like TOS, but with starting-up difficulties. Maybe some actual relationships instead of Archer just kissing every girl he meets. Instead? Decon rub-downs and sexual tension between just about everyone and T'Pol, despite the fact that she's a bitch. And no one has sexual tension with Hoshi because she can't do much more than scream.

I'm trying to see the good.


Now, what I would have liked to see was T'Pol going onto the Bridge and coming over to Archer's side. But they don't show that! Apparently the crew wanders around in BoxerBriefs, BTW. But the viewscreen is way more advanced than TOS's also.

But I love that they don't have shields yet. Or a tractor beam. Or phasers. These things are good. They make me happy. But the pre-tricorders should be a lot bigger - like a laptop. Hoshi's earpiece is too non-metallic - especially after Nog had the same thing Uhura used to use when the comn went out in DS9.

Since Klingons are so cold-sensitive, there is a big hole when they show Kronos to be such a cold-looking place. Of course, I never liked that whole "Klingons hate cold" bit anyway. And then the bit with the info-storing DNA.

Well, screw you too, Braga.