Monday, September 29, 2008

This is what I've been doing with the time I HAVEN'T been blogging.

A/N: The “Tight Sphincters 'R Us” comment is a shoutout to Jolene Blalock, who provided 3500 people with great amusement last weekend at the Las Vegas Star Trek Convention, which may have set a world record for the number of times “Sphincter” was used in a single weekend.

Needless to say, the convention was not entirely PG-13.

Also, Papillion, Nebraska was chosen because my friends live there, not because I know of any psychokinesis occurring there.

Finally, this chapter is dedicated to the Beckinator (Sorry, Wayno and Your Tracyocity) who is the best boss I ever had and is, in fact, so cool that if someone offed her and was after me, I totally think she'd come back as a poltergeist to protect me from the lunatic.

XXXXX

The next few weeks pass mostly without incident. Blevins is silent on the subject of our report that says nothing at all about Ruby. Scully doesn't bring up Samantha. I make quiet plans to drive to Chilmarc for the candlelight vigil that I probably won't follow through with. Our lives go on.

One thing is that Scully doesn't object when I file Ruby under “Alien Abduction” rather than “Inconclusive”. I regard this as progress.

One late afternoon in the middle of September, we are both called into Blevins' office. He greets us with a scowl and a “Come in and sit down, agents.”

Which we do.

“I have a case for you,” he says, which floors me and probably just about gives Scully a stroke.

“What kind of case, sir?” I ask, sure he's setting me up.

“I can't tell you.”

What​​? “May I ask why?”

“National security.”

National Security. I hate those words sometimes. Most of the time. All the time.

“Sir,” Scully asks, “what is it you need us to do?”

“I just want you to go to the Bethesda Naval Hospital and have a look at a couple of bodies.”

Okay, no problem.

“At eleven o'clock tonight.”

What?

“Sir?” Scully sounds as flummoxed as I am.

“We need to maintain constant vigilance, Agent. The hospital should be nearly deserted at eleven o'clock tonight. You will report to the morgue and meet three agents there who will brief you on whatever you're cleared to know.”

“Which agents?” I ask, wondering if it's anyone I know.

“Not FBI,” he elaborates. “Dismissed.”

XXXXXX

I make it out to the elevator before Scully recovers from her annoyance enough to let me really say anything at all, and even then she's tense. She doesn't like what happened in there. I can tell. I don't either, really. Not one bit.

“Mulder,” she finally tells me, “don't start thinking conspiracy.”

This is the very definition of conspiracy.

“There's nothing you can do,” she adds. “We have to trust that there's a good reason not to tell us what's going on.”

I know that – in theory. I also know I'm sick of getting the runaround, and I'm really sick of Blevins. Hopefully, I won't have to be sick of Blevins much longer, because the rumor is he's due for a promotion. God knows he a master of blowing smoke out his ass.

The elevator lets us out in the basement. It's after five, so I'm really only here to get my stuff and go. We walk into the office in silence, gather our things, and then leave for the parking lot. It's not until I'm about to get in my car that I realize that not only have I been mentally bitching Scully out for her silence, I haven't said anything at all.

“Scully-” I begin, but I can't finish that thought because I don't know where it leads. “I'll see you tonight.”

XXXXX

When we arrive at the hospital, we are greeted by a guard (Secret Service? CIA? MIB? IMF, for all I can tell) who leads us into a morgue without saying a word. The door closes behind him and there we are, standing in cold storage with two women – one in a tan suit and one in a lab coat and scrubs – and a man – black man, black suit - who look like they shop at Tight Sphincters 'R Us. “Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, Chief Blevins assures us of your cooperation. We regret any inconvenience at this extreme hour,” the Man in Black says.

Yeah, I could've had a date.

“We hope your expertise in extraordinary phenomena matters will help us in our investigation,” adds Tan Suit.

I wonder if I can get anything out of them. “You're not FBI, are you?”

“Have you ever seen anything like this before?” asks Lab Coat. That would be a “no,” then. Or given my reputation, maybe a “yes”. She hands me the guy's chart and pulls the sheet off one of the corpses for Scully to look at while I try and fail not to flinch. The body also flinches. “Abnormal postmortem muscle reflex. Both corpses are still responding to high levels of electrostatic charge.”

Yeesh.

“Any sign of external legions or surface burns?” asks Scully, frowning at the body.

“None.”

Huh. I manage to look at the body without wincing. The worst part about this is that the body used to be a person – and now it's not. It's something else. You find yourself wondering about the person who lived here, what they ate, who they loved, when they stopped doing any of those things. “Time of death?”

She glances at Man in Black and Tan Suit, but Man in Black just blinks.

“Well, it can't be long,” says Scully. “The body's still warm.”

“Somatic death occurred sometime over 6 hours ago. Their body temperatures have yet to drop below 98.3 degrees.”

That's weird. Right? I'm not a pathologist, but I say that's weird. “Where did you find them?” I ask. Nothing. Man in Black doesn't even blink this time. “Look, at least tell us the mode of transport!” I raise my voice and yank off my glasses. “That might tell us why the bodies haven't cooled.” While they're out of the picture I take the opportunity to press the index finger and thumb of the nearest corpse's left hand onto the right and left lenses, respectively. Man, Tan, and Lab say nothing. It was a long shot anyway. I just keep yelling. “Hey, you called us down here. If you want some answers you have to give some.”

“They traveled 60 minutes by air,” says Man. That's about a 500 mile radius. And also doesn't explain why they're still warm.

“Thank you,” I say, because it's polite and I just stole his evidence right under his nose.

“The most troubling aspect of their deaths is the throat area,” says Lab, walking over to an X-Ray screen. Is she a doctor? She talks like one. “The larnyx, esophagus, and hyoid bone all have been crushed like chalk. There is no evidence of tissue damage. It's as if their throats were crushed... from the inside.”

Well, that sums it up. Crushed from the inside. Not cryptic. Psychokinesis? It has all the elements of psychokinesis, but I've never seen this exact MO before. We both get a good look at the X-Ray and sure enough, even I can tell it's not normal. Scully winces. “Who are these guys?”I ask, but I don't expect an answer.

“If you've conducted your investigation, why consult us?” asks Scully.

“During your work on the X Files, have you ever seen anything like this?” asks Tan.

Yeah, I eat this for breakfast. Right. “Never.” Well there was that one thing, but it's probably nothing. And certainly nothing I'm gonna tell three people in a darkened morgue at eleven o'clock at night when they won't even tell me their aliases.

The man pipes up again. “Well, thank you for your time Agent Mulder, Scully. If any inquiry into this meeting be made, we request full denial.”

Jeez.

“I'd say you people already suffer from full denial,” I tell them before I grab Scully – okay, guide Scully – out of the room and we leave them to their mysterious corpses.

XXXXX

Out in the hall, the guard is gone. We walk back to our cars, and Scully rounds on me. “You lied. You have seen it before, I can tell. You lied to them.”

Shocked? “I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.”

“Who do you think they were?”

The Vatican Police? I don't know. Personally, I want to say the Impossible Mission Force, but somehow I doubt she'd take that seriously. “NSA, CIA, some convert organization Congress will uncover in the next scandal.” It doesn't matter anyway, really. “It's not important who they are but what they have and I'm sure they have no idea because they pulled us in. I have X Files. Each case with an element of what we saw tonight. Residual electrostatic charge, internal mutilation without any external causality... but none has all the elements combined in one case.”

“How can the esophagus be crushed without the neck even being touched?”

Here we go. I love this part. “Psychokinetic manipulation,” I whisper.

Let the games begin. “Psychokinesis? You mean how Carrie got even at the prom?” She is trying really hard to keep her face straight, in her defense.

I love working with Scully, I realize, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I love working with Scully. “The Russians were doing studies on it. The Chinese still are. Their findings are kept secret.” We get in the elevator down to ground level, and Scully draws in a deep breath and then lets it out. I love telling her this stuff.

“Okay, I'm intrigued. How can we investigate, we have nothing to go on.” I put an arm around her and ignore the flinching as I hold the glasses up to my face and breathe on each lens.

I win.

XXXXX

So we go back to work the next morning and have the prints run on a pair of glasses in an evidence bag that have a fascinating resemblance to my reading glasses. Ten minutes later the result pops up on the computer in the print lab and Scully's run off his file.

“Mohamed Amalaki. Convictions: Illegal possession of firearms. Illegal possession of explosives. Falsification of export licenses.”

“He has ties to extremist group operating in the US. The Isfahan. They take their name from a city in Iran. Recently they've been working out of Philadelphia.” Scully's already on page two.

Bingo. “That's 60 air minutes.”

One little phone call should do it all. “I'll talk to the Philly P.D,” she says, and heads back downstairs.

XXXXX

I have no idea what she said to them, but she comes back twenty minutes later saying a desk sargeant told her that there was an ATM robbery recently where the robbers dropped dead. I guess everyone's talking about it.

XXXXX

In the end, it's all too easy to get travel approval to Philly. All I had to do was write a 302 for a psychokinesis case, and it sailed through without Blevins even noticing. He must have gotten held up doing some asskissing or something, because that's not like him.

But whatever. Who am I to complain?

The next day, we fly to Philadelphia and rent a car, and from the airport we drive to a nameless motel and from there to the local PD without Blevins even knowing what we're up to which is just how I like it.

The desk sergeant sends us to a Detective Ericsson, who sits behind his desk and frowns at us in the PD's own version of a bullpen.

“Can I help you?” he asks, when he realizes who we're here for.

Scully flashes her I.D. “This is Agent Mulder, I'm Agent Scully. I'm here to ask you about a case.”

“What can do I have that could possibly be of any interest to you?” he asks – and not without a little hostility.

“It was a possible ATM robbery,” she begins, and his whole demeanor changes.

“You're here about that?”

I step in. “We were hoping to take a look, if you don't mind.” One look at his face says he doesn't mind at all.

“Mind? I'm relieved.”

That's a new one on me. “How so?”

He pulls out the file, which we've already read, but the crime scene photos are a lot less grainy. “It's just... spooky,” he admits, “and it makes no sense. If you want it, it's all yours.”

This is not a reaction I get often, and I don't know how to deal with it.

Scully scans through the file. “Is there a way we could see the crime scene?”

“Sure,” he replies, “I'll even have the officer who found the bodies take you down there.”

XXXXX

So an officer by the name of Officer Packard drives us down in his squad car – I have to ride in the back, like a criminal – to an alley downtown, where there is, for some reason that completely escapes me, an ATM that only a crazy person would use at night – or someone with a death wish.

He drives us up to the entrance of the alley and we get out of the car. It smells like a dumpster, and I've avoided alleys since I tried my hand at sleeping in one.

“Where, exactly, did you find them?” asks Scully.

“It was last Wednesday night. I was on routine patrol. This is where we found them,” he points to an area on the ground in front of the ATM.

“Who discovered their bodies?” she asks.

“Nobody. It was about 10. I was on patrol. Just saw them hanging around.” Literally. They were hanging around off a fire escape. “The folks that come around here, they don't witness very much. You hear what I'm saying?”

The file doesn't even say for sure it's a robbery, just “found in the vicinity of an ATM.” Well, no kidding – it's the only thing in this alley. That and the scared-looking woman using it.

What kind of lunatic would use it in the middle of the night I'll never understand.

“If they were trying to rob someone, it would show up on the ATM camera,” says Scully.

It's a place to start.

XXXXX

We drive over to the local FBI and I call US Bank, and sure enough, they can get us the footage. Someone messengers a video to us and we get a room to look it over. The notes with the video show the procedure the ATM uses – it can't record everything all the time.

“A daily visual record is made of everyone who makes a transaction,” I inform Scully, translating the technobabble into something resembling English. Scully's reading the other page – the list of people who used the ATM that day.

“We'll just have to interview everyone who was at the machine before 10 last night,” says Scully, but of course that's rendered moot when we see footage of a woman using the machine and then grabbed by two men and dragged away.

Kind of a giveaway.

It's the entry at 9:45, I note, but Scully is already flipping through the list. “There. Back up,” I mutter, even though I'm holding the remote. Scully, next to me, gasps.

It's on the rewind that I see a blur on the screen – a fourth person? Behind the poor woman getting attacked.

What the hell?

It's there, just for a second, and then it's gone.

“Lauren Kyte. 858 Franklin, Bensalem. Why would the Isfahan being robbing someone for 40 bucks at an ATM machine?”

Not another person. It is just there for a second – it looks like a ghost. “Look at that.” I stop the film and watch it sit there. It's man-shaped, but it only shows for a second or two.

“It's another person.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” I reply, but I don't think it is.

“Well, the resolution is too poor. It won't help much to enhance it.”

On this we are agreed. “That leaves only one person we know we can talk to.”



And so we drive to 858 Franklin, Bensalem, to see Lauren Kyte. There's a U-haul trailer outside her house, which gives me the impression that she's planning to move, so we'd better move fast here. I don't know how long we'll have her.

I knock on the door and listen for footsteps, a pause, and then -

“Hello?”

“Miss Lauren Kyte, please,” I say, and the door opens, revealing the woman in the video. She's just a kid, I realize, and I flash my badge. “I'm Agent Fox Mulder and this is Agent Dana Scully. We're with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Do you mind if we come in?” I'm not taking no for an answer.

“Um, I was just in the middle of ...”

“Thank you. We won't be long.” I squeeze my way past her, and Scully follows. She's good cop this time, and I don't even have to ask. Out comes the file, and next thing we know, Lauren's looking at her attackers.

“Have you seen either of these two men before?”

“No.” Not “maybe,” not “I don't know,” just “no”? Yeah, right.

“Take your time,” Scully prompts.

“I'm sorry. I've never seen them before.”

Yeah-huh. Scully pulls out the surveillance photo from the ATM. I love ATMs. “I'm afraid you have. This is a surveillance picture from your ATM.”

Silence. As it should be. She just lied to the FBI – not that I intend to push it. “Can you tell us what happened that night?”

“Um... These guys, I was depositing my paycheck. They grabbed me, I got away. I ran. I just didn't want to file a report.”

“They were found dead,” I tell her, and she does that freezing thing people do where they aren't freezing at all.

Scully pulls out the blowup of the background figure in the video. “Have you ever seen this person before?”

“No. I'm sorry. I can't tell you.”

Not 'I don't know.' Hmmm. “Does that mean you know?”

“It means I can't tell you who it is.”

Uh huh. She knows something. I pull out my card and hand it to her. “When you can tell me, this is the number where I can be reached at any time, okay?”

“Um hmmm.”

So we walk out her door, and I don't know about Scully but I am totally dissatisfied.

XXXXX

We make it to the car almost before Scully starts poking holes in Lauren's story. “A woman her size breaking free and outrunning those men?”

“And somehow crushing their necks?” We get in the car and put on the seat belts, and when I look up I can see Lauren watching out the window. Creepy.

“She knows who the other person in that photo is.”

Yes she does. “Packing, running away, from what?” I start the car. Time to look into Lauren Kyte.

And that's when the parking brake goes off, the car reverses, and the doors lock.

Without us touching them.

Even as I'm panicking, there is a part of me, in the back of my mind, saying “Explain this, Scully.” Even as the car spins backward and Scully yells, “What the hell's going on?” and I tell her to hang on while I pump the brakes and we back into an intersection where we are hit by another car. Even then, I want her to explain it.

But I settle for, “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

The other driver is shaking his head and looking around, so I assume he's alive. And Lauren closes her curtains. I guess she's done watching.

XXXXXX
They took the car to the garage and put us in separate ambulances to get checked out. By the time they tell me I'm okay to leave, Scully's still getting looked at, so I duck over to where they're checking her heart rate. “Everything okay?” I ask her, since she's a doctor and the paramedics are... not.

“Mulder, I'm fine. They're worried because my blood pressure dropped.”

That doesn't sound good.

“But I'm fine.”

“You're sure?” I ask her. This is the second car-related accident-like-thing she's been in since she met me.

“It's nothing,” she tells me. “They just have to cover all the bases. Go check out what's up with the car.”

I nod at her. Message received. “Meet you at the garage?”

“Okay,” she sighs as a paramedic named Ramirez slides the blood pressure cuff back onto her arm.

XXXXX

The cop who gave me a ride to the FBI garage has to go back on patrol, so it's just me there chatting with the mechanic until we get the green light to do whatever it is we're gonna do. He's a skinny guy with really really blond hair, and he doesn't have a high opinion of Fords.

“Fix Or Repair Daily,” he tells me, glaring at the car as it is raised up above our heads so we can see underneath it. “Fords are the most unreliable cars on the planet. They don't have the proper inspections before they leave the factory, the parts are substandard, everything's about cutting costs instead of making a quality vehicle...” he trails off as he examines something. “Nothing wrong with this one though.”

“What?” I'm dumbfounded – especially the way it acted.

“Not a thing. Yet. Only a hundred miles on it. All brand new. Not that there wouldn't be, mind you, there's just nothing wrong with it yet.” He pushes the button to lower it down and I examine the side panel with the sizeable dent in it. Nothing wrong indeed. “I have to go back to work now,” he adds. “I'll be around if you have any more questions.” I keep staring at the dent, trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be surprised.

It just happened so fast.

The headlights are reflecting off the inside of the garage door. I stare at it for ten seconds before the meaning of that hits me. The car is turned off.

“Hey!” I call after the mechanic. What is his name?

He turns back. “Help you?”

“The headlights.”

He frowns, walks around to the front of the car, and frowns some more. “That's weird.”

You don't say.

“Doesn't happen.”

Well, it did.

“I guess there must be a faulty connection. The battery's still connected to the headlights. Maybe an electrical problem, locked the doors, made the car go. Only one problem with that.”

“What's that?” I am forced to ask. I don't really know cars.

“Cars don't work like that. Power locks, maybe, but they can't put themselves in reverse.” He opens the hood and disconnects the battery. The headlights stay on. “No, this has to be the filaments themselves. Must still be heated from some electrical charge somehow.”

How? “How does that happen?” I ask him.

“No idea.” He walks away again.

So it's like the bodies. Psychokinesis seems more and more likely – especially with Lauren staring at us during the accident. Creepy. Better wear a suit of armor next time I see her. Or maybe just go without a tie – somehow a noose seems like a stupid idea around a psychokinetic.

This should be fun to explain to Scully.

I move back to look at the door. Dented like crazy. There's no way around it – I could have been killed. Maybe should have been killed. I reach inside and start switching the lights on and off. They stay on.

“Hi.”

Scully's back, I realize. “Hi. The paramedics check you out?”

“Yeah. I'm fine. Except I have a waiting-in-line-at-the-DMV-sized headache.”

Mine's kinda killing me too. I leave the lights off. “Mine's more IRS sized.”

“They check out the car?”

And here we go. Let the games begin. “Yeah, it's brand new. Only a 100 miles.”

“Then someone tampered with it while we were in her house.”

I walk around to the front of the car. “Mechanic said everything is in proper order. Nothing cut, nothing greased. Check out the lights.” And here we go.

“They are on.”

“They're not. The filaments are heated due to massive levels of electrostatic charge. Just like the bodies at the morgue. And isn't it interesting that Lauren Kyte was present at both incidents?”

“She was in our presence the entire time we were at her house,” says Scully. Clearly she doesn't get it.

Well somehow she did this. “What if it's possible somehow to raise a body's electrostatic charge to levels we've been seeing and use that energy to affect objects?”

“If a person could generate that much energy, their body would break down. They'd start glowing like those lights.”

I've seen these files. “Well there's evidence of this all through the X Files.” Papillion, Nebraska. “Furniture moving untouched, objects levitating, unexplained electrical discharges.” That was a fun case – and before her time. “Frequently people who have psychokinetic power are unaware of their own capability.”

“Are you saying Lauren Kyte crashed our car?”

Well who else? “Either that or a poltergeist.”

Scully glares at me and singsongs “They're here...” just like on Poltergeist. Cute.

So I adopt my most serious voice. “They may be.”

She pops the trunk and we grab our suitcases. “Oh, come on Mulder, look at the tangible evidence.” Yep, I love working with her. “Two Mid-East extremists are killed trying to assault a woman working for a manufacturer of parts for the Defense Department. While we questioned her our car is sabotaged.” Or not sabotaged. “Now in both those cases, someone else may have committed those acts. Maybe the same someone we saw in those ATM photos.” We put our suitcases in the new car she brought with her. “The mystery isn't psychokinetic energy, it's her accomplice.” In the time she's ranted, the lights have finally gone out.

At least, either way, the course of action is the same. “So, Scully, what say we stake out Lauren Kyte?”

XXXXX

We pull her record through the FBI and scan through it in the parking lot of her work. I do the spying and Scully does the reading, and this time she makes me use my binoculars, which up to this point were exclusively meant for the spotting of UFOs. Anyway, we park outside HTG Industrial Technologies and wait. Lauren pulls up ten minutes later and walks across the parking lot as Scully reads the file. “She's clean. No arrest, not even a traffic ticket. The only thing is, she's in deep with her credit card company... $15,000.” Typical.

Lauren stops where someone is changing the name on an assigned parking space. I can't really hear what she's saying, but there's a lot of angry gestures and closed body language. The name on the space, I can see, was Howard Graves.

“A little upset over losing a parking space, wouldn't you say?” I ask Scully. Especially when it's not even Lauren's space. “So, who is Howard Graves anyway?”

XXXXX
More microfiche, more Dramamine. The headline we eventually find is “Howard Graves Suicide Creates Shock.” He also worked at HTG.

The pieces begin to fall into place for me. “She was his secretary.” Scully, master of the file, doesn't correct me. “That's three people dead in the last month all associated with Lauren Kyte.” Also a fact. Can't deny that, eh Scully. The article goes on to say that 'ol Howard slashed his wrists in the bathtub. Ugh. I've always hated that one.

XXXXX

When we pick Lauren back up at the end of her workday, she drives to the cemetery to put flowers on a grave. After she leaves, we check it out to discover that it's Howard Graves' grave.

Now I've had some bosses who weren't assholes, but I wouldn't put flowers on their graves if they died. Life would go on. Most of them, I'd actually celebrate. “You don't see too many bosses graves without people dancing on it,” I remark, mostly to hear what Scully'll say to that.

“Look at this one.” Scully is looking at the stone next to Howard's: “Sarah Lynn Graves September 8, 1966 to August 3 1969".

Oh boy.

There is groundskeeper nearby, and I turn to him. “Excuse me, Sir? Is there an office here so that I can get information on those people?” There has to be.

“Who? I attend every funeral. I'm the last person to see them put to rest.” He has one of those incredibly quiet creepy voices.

Did you attend one in 1969? Somehow I believe that you did. “Do you know how Sarah Lynn was related to Howard Graves?”

“His daughter. They were at home one day and he didn't latch the pool gate. She drowned. His wife left him a year later. She's buried in a plot in the Northeast corner.” Creepy.

Poor Howard. “Thank you, Sir.”

“You're welcome.” He walks away, and Scully and I both turn to look at Sarah's grave.

“She was only three years old,” says Scully.

She was born the same year as Lauren Kyt.e. “If she'd lived, she'd be Lauren's age.” Scully looks at me and I look back and I think she understands what I'm saying – the same way I have a soft spot in my heart for women who would be Sam's age – roughly Scully's age, actually. You can't blame me – and you can't blame Howard if he did the same thing.

It's in our natures.

XXXXX

After a full day of surveillance, Scully and I fly home. Or at least Scully goes home, but I took darkroom photography in college and so I go into the photo lab to do the surveillance photos. It's soothing and calming and all those things I usually don't bother with, but tonight... tonight I want to.

I drop the photos into the fixer one at a time, hoping for something. Anything. A shadow, a face, a flicker of light. Proof of something. I'm so sick of having nothing, of Scully staring at me like I've gone nuts. She has an explanation for everything – Tooms crawled in an improperly latched window, Ellens Air Base had a good hypnotist, the Jersey Devil had some serious psychological issues, and so on and so forth.

So yeah, I can't help it. I want to prove it to her. Sue me for being a typical guy, only this time it's not about sports teams and who's winning the NBA playoffs and things like that. No, not for Fox Mulder. This is about psychokinesis. What can I say? It's just who I am, and I make no apologies. And I don't mind watching the playoffs either.

I work through the night, developing the damn things. It's not until the next morning, around three, that I get a good look. There is someone in the house with Lauren.

Okay, not someone. A shape behind her, in one photo of her standing at the window. So it's probably not psychokinesis then. Dammit, I hate when Scully's right.

But if it's not psychokinesis, what is it? Someone sneaked out and did something to our car the mechanic couldn't detect? No, something's still fishy. I just wish I knew what.

When Scully gets in, I'll have her come up to get the photo analyzed.

I wander back down to the bullpen and check my email. There's the report Scully wrote on our trips – she's taken to keeping me update on what she's ratting to Blevins, in case there's something I want her to reword. Not that she'll necessarily do that, but at least forewarned is forearmed. This time I have to admit she's done a good job making it look like we didn't go over Blevins' stupid head.

“After hearing rumors of suspicious electrical activity surrounding deaths in the Philadelphia area, Agent Mulder and I decided to investigate and offer assistance to the Philadelphia PD, after a brief conversation with local police secured us an invitation to work on the case. During that time, we were attacked via sabotage of our rented car. Although we sustained no serious injuries, both Agent Mulder and myself are determined to find the identity of our attacker.”

Good-no mention of the bodies we saw at Bethesda. Let Blevins wonder.

“Investigation of the deaths led us to a witness, a woman named Lauren Kyte – an employee at a company called HTG Industries - who had recently lost her boss to an apparent suicide. Miss Kyte has a clean background with no indications of affiliation with any suspicious activities or groups, however we believe our attacker was attached to her in some way.”

Scully promised to do a more detailed background check on Lauren when we got home, but we know she's not sacrificing animals and she doesn't belong to the Istafhan.

“Further investigation into Lauren Kyte's personal history reveals an estrangement from her family. Phone records confirm no contact with her parents for the last two years. Her actions observed during surveillance indicate a strong relationship between Lauren Kyte and her employer, the late Howard Graves.”

And now we get to the meat of it. He was like a father to her – the father she's not in touch with. And he had lost a daughter. They must have been very close, I suppose, but not in a sexual way. What would he have done to protect her? And why the hell did he kill himself anyway?

“Was this relationship somehow the motivation for his suicide? How are the attack and the subsequent murders of the Isfahan agents related, if at all? I am certain that the answers to these questions lie in finding the identity of Lauren Kyte's accomplice.”

Quite a leap, Scully, but we don't have any reason to think Lauren's innocent – or guilty.

I hate this not knowing.

XXXXX

She comes in at eight, while I'm going over the bank robberies for the thousandth time, trying to predict the robbers' next move. I'm getting nowhere except a headache, and I don't notice when the door opens.

“Mulder, how long have you been here?”

Long enough to have to change into the extra shirt I keep in the closet. “A while. I developed the surveillance photos.”

She nods, once, enough to tell me she at least suspects I didn't sleep last night. “Anything good?”

Would the photo lab be in yet? I glance at my watch. “I don't know yet. We need to have it enhanced.” It's only 8:15 – they might be in already. I pull out the photo. “There.”

“Mulder, that could be a coat rack.”

I suppose it could, except- “I didn't see a coat rack when we were there.”

She sighs. Deeply.

“I just want to have it analyzed, that's all,” I add.

She nods again. “That's probably a good idea.” She punches in some numbers on the phone and waits for a minute. “Hi, it's Agent Scully – Good. How are you?”

She knows the photo lab?

“We have a surveillance photo we want a closer look at, is now a good time? Really? Great, we'll be up in ten. Yes, Mulder too.” Ouch. “It could be nothing, but it's the only lead we- yes, yes, I know. No, it's not small and green.”

I can see where this is going.

“An ottoman? Really? Well, this definitely isn't an ottoman.”

They had to bring that up, didn't they.

“Thanks,” she says, “I'll see you later. Coffee next week?” She hangs up the phone.

Scully has coffee with someone in the photo lab?

XXXXX

We get up there and meet a technician named Malcolm Jones, Scully's friend. Not what I expected. He looks like her father.

“Agent Mulder? Hi, Malcolm Jones.” He shakes our hands. “It's good to see you, Dana.” She squirms a little bit. “This the picture you needed?” He takes it from me and looks it over. “Yeah, that looks like something. Let me see here, we can set you up right over here -” he gestures to a comptuer with two chairs in front of it - “ and I'll just scan this puppy in -” he puts it in a scanner and presses the green button - “ and the program should load. Have you used photo imaging software before?”

Yes, I have, and so has Scully. She nods, since it doesn't sound like he'll stop talking anytime soon.

“It has a built in enchancer that automatically renders everything in the sharpest possible focus. Sometimes we only have a few pixels to work with. Right now I'm on this bank robbery case, and the security camera pictures are just atrocious. We only got a few usable images.”

“That Willis' case?” I ask him.

“Yeah, real stinker, can't see anything you need to on those cameras. Banks really should be the first people to upgrade.”

Probably true. “Thanks,” I tell him, because they've gotten some pretty clear images off those crappy cameras. He sits down in the chair in front of the computer and I take the other one while Scully stands behind. He types in a few instructions and it zooms in on the window.

That's definitely something. In fact, it's a blurry person. I wait to see what Scully's gonna say.

“That looks like something,” Jones tells me. “Let's see if we can clear it up.”

A few more keys are pressed and a bar marked “enhancing” pops up.

“Enhance it by 10,” says Scully. How much does she know about this? And why the hell is this guy doing her bidding? Malcolm Jones clicks on the number 10. A face appears. But not just any face. No siree. “That's Howard Graves. He's alive.” Scully, master of the scientific standard of obvious.

Huh. Somehow, I doubt that. They tend to be pretty clear on people's deaths when they cut them open in the morgue. “Not necessarily.”

“He's standing right there.”

Yes he is. “You may have been right about the poltergeist,” I tell her, because I don't know how else this is possible. I mean, by Scully's rules, it's not possible.

“Mulder, that's him. He's alive.”

Fine, Scully, you think he's alive? Let's check. “Okay, who do we call about that?” I could find out, but she'll know.

She frowns. “The doctor who autopsied him,” she says, but it sounds more like a question, almost. And then she swallows and turns back to Jones. “Thanks so much, Malcolm. We owe you.”

He smiles. “Just buy the coffee next time, Dana, and we're even.” He nods over to another area of the room. “If you'll excuse me -” He goes back to work.

Is he flirting with her?

Is she flirting back?

XXXXX

So we drive back to Philadelphia, which is 90 minutes of License Plate Game, and wind up in the local offices of the National Medical Examiners. Apparently, the National Medical Examiners Office is essentially where they keep the coroners when they're in a city where they have one of these offices. Which I did not need to know ever before and probably never will again.

We check in and walk down to the basement, because even in Forensic Bureaucrat Heaven, autopsies must be conducted in the most dreary place possible. Scully is looking for someone whose name she saw in the Graves file, whose office is down here – somewhere.

I still think she should just let go and admit that Graves was a ghost, but I think we all know she won't do that. She can't.

Ghosts are pretty out there. I'm the first to admit that.

And if someone had been in the house I think we would have noticed while we were watching. I know that, and so does Scully, so I have to push her buttons a bit.

“Scully, don't you think it's plausible that maybe just maybe Howard Graves is a ghost?”

She doesn't spare me a second glance. “I think Howard Graves faked his own death.”

Uh huh. “Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off, Elvis.”

She ignores the King.

“He and Lauren Kyte are in on something. Maybe an illegal deal through his company. Something the CIA was interested in.”

Possibly true. “You may be right.” She stops in front of a door. Ellen Bledsoe, ME. She may be right, which is why we're here. Just one teeny little problem.

“Wait, you think I'm right?”

Did I say that? I said may be right. “Sure, all you got to do is prove that Howard Graves is still alive.” And with that I knock, cheerfully.

She'll never pull that off.

XXXXX

Ellen Bledsoe invites us in when Scully pulls out her badge, and I let the two of them chat. Scully explains her medical background, Bledsoe nods her way through that, and then Scully pulls surveillance photo, which Bledsoe scans and then nods.

And then Scully drops the bombshell.

“I think he may have faked his death.”

She stares at us.

I love that I'm not the one getting this look.

“Howard Graves is very dead.”

“May we see the autopsy report, please?” Bledsoe pulls out a file and tosses it to us.

“Knock yourself out.”

Scully scans through it. Way more detailed than what we had.

“Cause of death... arterial hemorrhage...”

“4 to 6 liters of blood down the tub.”

Yuck.

“Well there seems to be some blood work missing here,” says Scully.

“We only do that when we suspect homicide.”

Yeah, great. Missing bloodwork is just what will help Scully get past her theory. Maybe it was someone else will be next. An imposter! I'll just beat her to that. “I don't suppose you ran any dental conformation?”

“What for? It was him.”

Oh boy.

“How did you know?” Scully asks.

“It said so on the toe tag.”

Yeah. Great. Better and better. And I bet I know what's coming next.

“Who made positive ID on the body?”

But I know.

Scully's the one who says it. “Lauren Kyte.”

And I remember the size of his plot at the cemetery. Not exactly 6x2. “But Howard Graves was cremated. There would be no way to run a dental check or to get a DNA sample.”

But Scully has a little ray of hope. “Yes, there is. His body's tissues and organs were donated.”

Okay, so that could help. “How do we track those down?”

She scans the rest of the page. “Extraction was performed at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. I'll call and talk to someone in the donor program.”

She dials her cellular phone and steps out into the hall, leaving me to sit there with Dr. Bledsoe and try not to fidget, which turns out to be pretty easy, because when Scully's done we'll all know that not only is Howard Graves dead and cremated, but first they cut his organs out, so there's no possible way he could be alive.

No way.

I love being right all the time.

Scully steps back into the room. “We have an appointment with a Doctor Ryker in cryogenics in an hour,” she informs me, and then turns back to Dr. Bledsoe. “Thank you for the files. If we need anything else, may I call you?”

Bledsoe takes her leave of Scully and me, to which I barely pay attention, because I'm right and about to be proven it. Howard Graves is dead dead dead, which means that whoever is in Lauren Kyte's hosue that looks like him is definitely either an impostor or a ghost, and I'm pretty sure when he starts walking through walls the ghost bit will seem a lot more likely.

But, I realize as I'm heading to the car, the first part is that I need to get Scully to believe that Howard Graves is dead, so I keep silent except for map reading as we drive across town to the hospital, park the car, and make our way to the cryogenics lab. Even as I want to be doing backflips, I don't say a single word, because this time she is going to admit it – that I am right right right.

And then I may very well start cackling.

But that will be justified.

We take an elevator to the basement, because where else would you have a cryogenics lab, and come to think of it - “Why is it we need a cryogenics lab, Scully?”

“They stored his neural matter for scientific research,” she tells me. “We're going to run a DNA and compare it to the bloodwork from his last physical. That was a week before his death, the hospital still has a sample on file, and it was his personal physician who did the exam – he should know if Howard Graves was really Howard Graves. It's airtight, Mulder.”

Yes, it really does sound that way doesn't it.

We turn a corner and come face to face with a man in a lab coat. “Doctor Ryker?” asks Scully.

“That's me. Agents Scully and... Mulder?”

Wow, she bothered to tell him I'd be coming along.

“That's right,” says Scully, as Ryker and I shake hands. “Have you had time to pull the records for Howard Graves?”

He gestures toward a window in the wall, where we can see hospital employees working. “Howard Graves is in 5 different people. They harvested his organs immediately after death. His kidneys were sent to Boston, his liver to Dallas, and his corneas to Portland, Oregon. They've all been transplanted. Because of his age, we could only cryo-preserve the dura matter, the membrane of the spinal column. We have Mr. Graves' hospital records, we'll extract a sample, run a test and in a couple of hours... confirm the identity of the donor.”

Perfect.

“That should give us the confirmation we need,” Scully tells him. “Thank you.”

And then I'll win.

So we sit in the waiting room in our uncomfortable chairs and wait. And wait and wait and wait. I've never been good at waiting.


Naturally, my phone rings just as they come with the results. I pick up the phone. “Mulder.”


Scully's wrong anyway.


“It's Lauren Kyte. How soon can you get to my house?”


Now she comes forward? Now? “Why?”

“Please hurry.” She hangs up.

I put the phone back in my pocket and turn to Scully. “The tests are conclusive, the dura matter does belong to Howard Graves. He is indeed very dead.”

I win, but it doesn't feel like it.

“That was Lauren Kyte. She said to meet her at her house and then she hung up.”

Scully sighs. “Whatever's going on, we need to get her to tell us what it is. How long do you think, half an hour?”

Or so. “Let's go.” Whatever's in the house has been there at least since Graves died. I should have gotten some salt or something. Holy water, I don't know.

When we get to Lauren's, the screaming can be heard so loud that I don't know how it is the neighbors haven't called the police. I take the front and Scully takes the back. There's a dead woman right behind the door. There is a man hanging from the rafters. Seriously, in the middle of the living room. Lauren is crying in a corner, so I'm guessing she didn't kill him. When Scully comes in, the man falls to the ground and I can see very clearly that he was held up by nothing at all.

Not a poltergeist my ass.

Lauren's crying and clinging to Scully, who is patting her back with one hand and reaching for her cell phone with another, so I decide to ease her burden a bit and pull out my phone. 911 awaits.

XXXXX

We end up taking Lauren in to the police station, even though there's not a shred of evidence she killed anyone, because two people just wound up dead in her home. They stick her in Interrogation, because where else would you talk to a victim of poltergeist activity? The police want to question her, but I'm FBI and what I say goes so Scully and I get first crack at it.

We walk in and I sit down while Scully leans against the wall and waits for me to do my thing so she can jump in and prove that someone could possibly be alive when their dura matter is in cryogenic storage (she'll never be able to prove that).

Lauren continues to shake.

“Lauren?” I ask her. No answer. “Do you mind if we ask you some questions?”

She shrugs. It's a start.

Scully jumps in. “You know, you're not under arrest. You're just here for questioning. The sooner you talk to us the sooner you get to go home.” Nothing. I didn't expect there to be. She's probably thinking if she tells us, we'll think she's crazy. Of course, I have to remind myself, she's half right. “What happened to those people tonight?” Yeah, Scully. That'll help. She thinks you won't believe her. “Do you have any idea who they might be? Why did they attack you?” Let's just throw all the questions at her. I pick up the picture, the one from the ATM that is Howard Graves' ghost and walk around the table, invading her personal bubble without trying to be threatening.

“Do you know who this is?” Which is when Man shows up.

Crap.

“Scully, Mulder... He'll keep an eye on her.” He motions to the officer who followed him in. “Come. Now.”

Not good.

We follow him into the hallway, where we find Tan waiting for us, only now she's in a pink suit. Great. Tag-team. “You've seriously compromised our investigation.”

Our investigation has nothing to do with their investigation – I guarantee they're not looking into the paranormal. They're counterterrorism or something. “We were following leads pertaining to an X File,” I explain, which is allowed no matter what they're up to.

“I want to know every detail of your activities concerning this case,” the man says.

Scully, to my shock, jumps in. “What case? You're the ones who've been withholding information.”

Score one for the visiting team. Everyone clams up.

Time to nip this in the bud. “Then we have nothing more to talk about,” I tell them, and we both go tor return to Lauren when I realize they're following us.

They want to talk now. The woman begins. “We believe HTG Technologies was selling restricted parts to the Isfahan. Partial serial numbers from their manifest were recovered in the wreckage of a July bombing of a Navy transport van.”

Well holy shit. I was right. Counterterrorism. “How's Lauren Kyte involved?”

The man answers this time. “We don't quite know. Your actions impeded our investigation.”

Our actions? How could we possibly have interfered? So far we got in a car wreck and tested some donated dura matter. It doesn't matter anyway. “In any case, we don't have enough evidence to hold her. If she doesn't talk, she goes free and we lose our chance to break this company.”

“I could make her talk,” Man says, and he is scary. I don't think this is a good idea.

But he could stand a little bit of the run-around. Still, if I don't warn him, that's manslaughter. “My advice to you: don't get rough with her.”

He doesn't bat an eye, just turns and walks into the interrogation room. I take a chair outside and wait for the screams. Scully sits next to me, and the woman goes in to observe the interrogation. At least there'll be a witness this time to the fact that Lauren's not doing these things.

We wait for twenty minutes before the woman leaves observation and enters the interrogation room. Another forty minutes later, the door to interrogation opens. “That was a waste of time,” the woman is telling her partner. She keeps walking, but the man stops and regards us for a moment with something that looks suspiciously like respect.

“Your turn,” he says, before he follows her off into the sunset.” I love being right.

So we take our turn now, and walk into the room.

Scully begins, cautiously. “Lauren?”

“I won't talk to you, either.”

Occam's Razor. And reverse psychology. “Okay, then you're free to go.” She gets up then, and walks to the door, and then she stops.

“I can't go back to that house.”

Bingo. “Why? Because of Howard Graves?”

“He's dead.”

Yeah. “I know. He's watching over you, isn't he?”

She does that freezing without freezing thing again. “Yes.” She nods.

And now I get my turn, oh my yes. “Tell us, Lauren. We can help end it.”

She walks until she gets to the corner of the room and leans against the wall, facing us. “Okay.”

Scully hits record.

“I don't know if you've ever been a secretary. Sometimes your boss can talk as if you weren't even in the room, which can hurt, you know? Sometimes... you're all he has to talk to. Which is how it was all the time with me and Howard. One night, late, I went into his office. He was crying, more scared than sad. The Pentagon contracts were being canceled, the company was going under, he felt personally responsible for each of his employees... seeing and feeling their fear every day... it really wore him down. Then this one time, Dorland came with that group... that Mid East group... Isfahan, that terrorist group. They'd buy parts at an outrageous price. Not just once, but for as long as they could get away with it. That night Howard was crying, he'd just found out the Isfahan had just claimed responsibility for killing a couple of sailors in Florida. He was never the same. And I thought that was why he killed himself. But he didn't... I saw ... Howard showed me how Dorland had him killed. Made it look like a suicide because he see Howard was going to put an end to the deal.”

Okay, so Dorland's the bad guy and Howard is trying to – what? “So now Howard is protecting you?”

“It sounds so ridiculous.”

Scully sees the benefit of playing along, at least. “But you believe it.”

“He was closer to me than my father. I told him that. I still feel his presence. Sometimes... I even smell his aftershave. If you just could've ... seen ... the things I've seen... I just... want all that to go away. I'm leaving. Maybe he can move on.”

Scully stands then, and moves to Lauren, and I'm sure it's over. But then she blows me away. “That's not enough. You've been given the chance to tell him again. Take it. Tell him you love him, by showing him, by... helping us finish his unfinished business. Lauren, how will you ever be able to rest if he never can?”

Holy Shit.

Holy Fucking Shit.

“Okay.”

Scully and Lauren nod at each other.

“I'm a mess. I'm um, going to wash up.” Lauren leaves to find a bathroom.

I'm peeling myself off the ceiling. “What are you doing Scully? You don't believe.”

“Mulder, there's no such thing as ghosts or psychokinesis. I'm sure there's an explanation. But I believe that she believes. And my priority is to get to her help us stop Dorland.”

Terrif. Still, she was willing to play along. Not that I have to let her get away with that explanation. “Well we may have just sacrificed our best opportunity to observe spectral phenomena.”

“I'm giving us a chance to solve a case that's tangible instead of chasing after shadows.” She leaves the room too.

Shadows?

Is that what I'm chasing?

I think I can live with that.

XXXXX

Scully gets us all a change of clothes while I recruit the agents we'll need. Man in Black shows up when they tell me my agents are assembled. Not a word of apology.

But he doesn't take over either.

I guess it's a start.

XXXXX

When we load them into the cars, I'm almost sure Lauren is going to bolt. But she doesn't. “You ready?” I ask her, and she nods.

Just nods.

Scully is the drill seargeant. “All right, everyone. We have a warrant to search the premises for evidence of the sale of restricted manufactured parts. The evidence may be in the form of falsified export licences, parts manifests, communiques. It could be on computer disks or hard copy.”

Man in Black also has something to say. “Once there, when in doubt, ask. We need this to be clean. This is the culmination of a year long investigation. If we don't come out of there today with something proving a connection to the Isfahan, this guy could walk.”

“Lets go,” Scully adds.

Scully turns to Lauren. “Now, it will most likely be in Dorland's office. We'll conduct the search, but we need you to guide us so we need you to be strong, okay?”

Scully's good at this part, I note.

We load into the cars and pull out for HTG.

XXXXX

Busting in is equally fun. Scully pulls out her badge and rounds everyone up. “Everybody stay calm. Federal Bureau of Investigation. Ma'am, could you step away from those files, please?”

She and Lauren go into Dorland's office, and I wait outside. And wait. While I'm waiting I fill fifteen boxes full of export paperwork, but there's nothing here.

Nothing incriminating.

Scully comes out of Dorland's office at one point and looks at me. The tiniest shake of her head tells me all I need to know.

Tan Suit (who is wearing purple today) and Man in Black come out with boxes too, but Dorland is standing there with the employees, calming everyone down.

“This is all we could find,” says Tan Suit.

It's not enough. “We don't have him. He's not even breaking a sweat.”

“Our case is blown. A wasted year. This guy is going to walk.” They leave.

Blevins is gonna kill me.

So I go into Dorland's office. Is putting fabric on the walls the new thing now? I wouldn't know. My walls are are solid sheetrock.

“Let's get out of here,” says Scully as she leaves with her own box.

Lauren is about to cry. “Lauren, it's over. We have to go. What we're looking for isn't here.” She smashes a picture in it's frame, and I'm tempted to join her. Unfortuneately, Dorland joins us right then too.

“Look! She isn't an agent. I don't want to be uncooperative or combative, but she has no right destroying my personal property.”

Lauren pulls a painting off the wall. “Lauren-” I begin.

“Destroying property? What about that van that blew up and killed those servicemen?”

“Oh, I don't know what you're talking about you stupid bitch!” She rushes at him with a letter opener. Great.

“Lauren, No!” I go to stop her -

But Howard beats me to it.

“He'll kill him. Help us find it!” Lights begin exploding and a tornado moves in. I can hear Scully yelling outside, papers fly through the air, and Lauren's letter opener flies directly into a fabric covered wall. It slides downward, revealing a computer disc.

Buried in the wall.

Nice.

“My God.”

Scully has a talent for understatement.

I walk to the wall and pull out the disc.

“I guess what we're looking for is here,” I tell her, and I hope she understands that what I just saw had to be a ghost.

Had to.

XXXXX

Lauren leaves town the next day. We stop by to see her and she's loading up the car at ten o'clock at night. Scully doesn't even bother to try to talk her out of it.

“The US Attorney's office is going after Dorland with everything they've got. Including the murder of Howard Graves,” she tells Laurent instead, which is what we came to tell her anyway.

“I'll come back to testify.”

I get that.

“Where are you going?” I ask her as I help her get the box in the trunk.

“Away from here.” Must be the last box, because she gets in and starts the car. “Thanks.”

So much she could tell us. “Boy, she's in a rush to get out of here.”

“Out of here, or away from the ghost of Howard Graves?” We walk to the car.

Why is it so hard to believe? There's something I've always wondered about her. “Hey, Scully. Do you believe in the afterlife?”

“I'd settle for a life in this one.”

I guess it doesn't matter that she flirts with fifty year old photo lab techs and manipulates young women. She, like me, is just trying to get her life back.

However she can.

“Have you ever seen the liberty bell?”

“Yes.” We get in the car and buckle up.

“You know, I've been to Philadelphia a 100 times and I've never seen it.”

“You're not missing much. It's just a big bell with a big crack, and you have to wait in a long line.”

She wants a life. So do I. Maybe we can have a little piece of one.

“Yeah,” I pull the car into the street, “but I'd really like to go.”

“Why now?”

What am I supposed to say? It would take too long to articulate. Too many feelings. Too much that would have to be left unsaid.

And I don't know where to start.

“I don't know. How late do you think they stay open?”

Friday, September 26, 2008

Trying some ads. Click on me!


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Okay...

This video is making quite a splash. Kill me now.


CERN Rap from Will Barras on Vimeo.

Ghostbusters!

So, they're writing Ghostbusters 3.

Yeah...

Personally, I'm a little frightened. Especially since the article I read on Sci-Fi Wire was... let's just say he forgot to proofread and leave it at that, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. But Bill Murray's gonna be in it. Has he done anything lately? Do we remember him working at all in the last ten years? Because I'm drawing a blank.

Monday, August 25, 2008

My question for the day

I was watching Crossfire, which is about Odo realizing that Kira definitely isn't in love with him and he needs to pull out of her life and I was watching him turn away from Kira making out with Shakaar and it occurred to me - how does Odo see?

I mean, the way I see it there's two options. a)Odo sees with the eyes he makes. But that creates all sorts of problems when he's turned into a bag or a piece of the wall to spy on people - how does he see anything then? Or hear for that matter?

Yeah.

Okay, so b) Odo percieves everything from his entire surface space. But that creates problems too. What if he were gaseous? Liquid? And why would turning his eyes away from the distressing sight of Kira making out with Shakaar help him in any way? Because now he can see it out his elbow.

You see the problem?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Water is Thicker than Blood

I was rewatching "Ties of Blood and Water" last night and I realized two things:
a) Major Kira's character has a lot more depth than when she was screaming at Sisko's desk in the first episode, and b) The Ghemor storyline was never fully fleshed out, which means there's a fanfic in there somewhere.

On a side note, if you've never seen the ep, I highly reccomend it. It's from DS9 season 5. It has Dukat, Weyoun, and a large helping of Kira. Sisko, Dukat, and Weyoun sit down to have a drink (of poisoned kanar), Nerys and Julian have a cute moment (the actors were married at the time), and it's really sweet and sad and all those things we love about DS9.

Monday, August 11, 2008

And Friday... Partial

Friday, August 8

The first guest this day before my birthday was Malcolm McDowell. What a guy. Just – what a guy. What a guy, what a guy, what a guy. He has an amazing presence, plus what he said about my question was just – perfection.

See, when they filmed Generations, Soran shot Kirk in the back. Wait, you say, didn't Kirk fall off a bridge? Well, yes, he did. See, people were upset by the whole shot-in-the-back thing, so they decided to reshoot so that Kirk fell off a bridge instead, because someone thought we'd like that better. Yeah-huh.

So, anyway, my question for Malcolm: “Originally, you shot Kirk in the back and he died.”

He was all, “Uh-huh.”

“And they changed it so he fell off a bridge.”

“Uh huh.”

I was waiting for a reaction, so I said, “So you went from being a murderer to manslaughter.”

“Who let her in here?!?!?!” he yelled.

When the laughter died down (go me!) I said, “How did you feel about that?”

“Well,” he said, “I thought it was pathetic.”

Booya. I got high-fived as I walked back to my seat.

He's not a Trekkie. He's actually a fan of 2001. I knew there had to be at least one out there. He says it took Sci-Fi from Flash Gordon to 2001. Never mind that Star Trek was in the middle of that. Lousy thing to say at a convention.

There was a lot of talk about Heroes, which he didn't want to do but his son was so excited that he did it anyway, and by the way, his character is not so wounded as we were led to believe.

There were lots of Clockwork Orange questions, which I've never read or seen but really should, but anyway his most challenging role was something called The Monster of Rostoff, in which he played a pedophile cannibal serial killer. Good grief.

He's a good villain.

A little side note – he made Time After Time with Nick Meyer (in which he did not play the villain) and met his wife on that film. Good deal. And if you don't know who Nick Meyer is, you suck.

Someone also asked him probably my favorite question, which you could tell he was unprepared for because he never really got it. “What would you do in Soran's place?” As in, if you had to kill 230 Million people to get your dead wife and children back, would you.

Jeepers.


Susie Plakson isn't my favorite, but she passes the time and she's tall. Really tall. Extremely tall. She's been launching a musical career, which is neat. And she's older than you'd think, is all I'll say there.

One amusing thing – did you know she was Selar? Selar and K'Eyhlar and SheQ and one of the Andorians. She beat Jeff Combs.

Anyway, she audidtioned for a doctor on Star Trek got it, and then they called her in to be measured for her ears. And that's how she learned she'd be playing a Vulcan.


I won't pretend I'm not bitter about Enterprise because that would be a lie, but Jolene Blalock, guys. Amazing.

I've always seen T'Pol as a big problem, not because of the character or actor but because she's so obviously there for the sex appeal. That said, she's so funny, so charming, and so much a fan that it just kills you.

She's been a fan her whole life.

I actually feel pity for her now – because she was the fan in the show that failed. Not that that was her fault, but what a horrible thing to have happen.

There were a lot of questions dealing with the Vulcan restraint. Leonard Nimoy has said often that he really felt repressed as Spock, that the character took a while to take off on the weekend and then he had to be back at work. She never consulted with Nimoy (“God, I wish.”), but she had a very different experience. Nimoy had to remain stoic all the time. Jolene, well...

“I was the one leaving hershey bars in Connor's toilet....and then I'd get outside and go, [crap]!, I forgot the saran wrap!”

Yeah.

She didn't feel it like Nimoy, I think, but she did have dreams about doing Hamlet in her living room in T'Pol's catsuit, and yes, she did say catsuit.

There was one that became a running thing: “If you were in the desert, would you want Archer or Trip with you?”

Trip.

Yay! My shipper heart beats faster. She indicated that she was in favor of that particular ship, too, so good on her. I mean, she certainly seemed enthusiastic.

She wasn't a big fan of the Xindi arc – maybe if it had been more about Enterprise than the Xindi, that would be different. But it wasn't. Manny made the show better, she said. No argument here. He took the shows and took risks and they “started to bend and mold and shift.”

Yes, they did. And the most telling statement:

“Berman had a formula from TNG and it carried over to the next incarnations...first two seasons he just would not bend, would not budge.”

Which is what I've been saying for years.

She would be open to being in the new movies – T'Pol should still be alive then.

I can't say I'd object.

“My biggest influence is James Cagney...everything I do is in homage to Jimmy Cagney.”
-Malcolm McDowell

“There's nothing wrong with doing six scenes and having the world hate you.”
-Malcolm McDowell, on playing villains

“If I was gay, I probably would have married him.”
-Malcolm McDowell on Colin Firth

“Only through science fiction do you pose the question, 'what if-?'... only the sci-fi genre divides the lines between us.”
-Jolene Blalock

“Berman had a formula from TNG and it carried over to the next incarnations...first two seasons he just would not bend, would not budge.”
-Jolene Blalock

On Thursday...

Thursday, August 7

I started out with Rigel and Patrick Woida, who designed the Phoenix lander. That was cool from an intellectual capacity, but it wasn't exactly layman-friendly. There were some neat pictures, which I think you can get on the web, and a lot of humor about the ice they found on Mars, which they're very excited about. Anyway, like I said, fun, not hugely layman friendly.

However...

Grace Lee Whitney, dude. Wow. What an amazing person to have onstage, even with two co-guests. She really has a grip on herself now, despite the problems she had at the time, and she was just amazing to listen to. Her wig that she wore – that got stolen. We'll discuss that later. She was onstage with Michael Forrest (Apollo) and Sandra Smith (Janice Lester), who were also wonderful. Sandra Smith especially – I've often thought she made a better Kirk than Shatner did.


The Okudas were also there. I missed them last year, which was a mistake. They talked about the process of TOS Remasterd and showed some great footage. Their production work was something like this:

1.Watch ep and take notes
2.Meet and rewatch ep
3.play with starship toys
4.order pizza
5.eat pizza
6.meet with CBS
7.digital work revised over the internet

Sounds complicated.

“The Menagerie”, with the dome shot, was one that they had to force the people at CBS digital to look at ahead of time, and when they did they went “Oh, crap,” or something to that effect. I can see why. It's not exactly a common shot for today, much less in 1964 when they shot it.

They also talked about why it was needed, and I have to admit that that reason is fine with me. I always hated TOS Remastered when people were talking just for the hell of it, but it is pretty. Veeeery pretty. Doesn't change much. Okay, I lied. It changes a lot of little things. Just look at Murasaki 312 before and after. We'll live.

They added some things that weren't shown (the Gorn ship in Arena) and clarified things that were just blurs of light (Mudd's ship in “Mudd's Women”). All okay.

One thing I was not onboard with was the changing of the tombstone in Where No Man to “James T. Kirk”. We've been knocking that around for years, and now they want to come in with a magic eraser and fix it? They debated, and waffled back and forth, and finally asked the fans at a convention, who wanted to do it – but they ran out of time and couldn't. Which I'm fine with. Actually more than fine, thanking God.

I've often thought about the look of the NX-01. It's crap, and I mean that in the nice way. It doesn't look like a pre-1701 ship. It just doesn't. More on that later too, but anyway, I got the Okudas to answer my question about that. Their answer – it just rocked my world. I was so upset with them, for so long, and now, well... I still am. But at the same time, I'm not.

See, apparently, it wasn't actually more futuristic. They were shooting for something that resembles the style we have today evolving toward the tech level of TOS, and keeping in mind that in TOS they had no idea what computers were going to be capable of. Now that doesn't excuse Archer's ready room (Kirk didn't get no stinkin' ready room), but it does make me relax a little bit about their intentions. But that's not all. The best is yet to come.

Had Enterprise run all seven years, we would have seen their display panels evolve toward the blinky pattern of TOS. They were so concerned with continuity, they studied the panel blinking on TOS. But that's not the best part.

No the best part is a quote from Michael Freaking Okuda: “Since you're asking that question... we obviously weren't entirely successful.”

Holy. Freaking. Shit.

He doesn't say, “I'm sorry,” but I'll call it an apology. Which was all I wanted.

“The last year,” Denise added, “was actually a gift.”

I couldn't agree more.

Brent Spiner and Marina Sirtis were next, and they were amazingly funny. Brent is such a crackup. What I love is hearing them joke about Patrick Stewart, and how Brent is trying to be him (not really). Marina said at one point that he could do it if he'd just start dating 28-year-olds. Ouch. Marina sang Avril Lavine (I know I spelled that wrong) and then took a question from a woman who had named her son “Patrick James Tiberius Kirk”. Marina's response? “Oh my God, what did you do to your child?!?!”
Brent just wanted to know if she'd considered “Brent Data Spot”?

My cat's name is Genesis Spot.

But I digress.

They took a question from someone who was nineteen. (She was an embryo when we started!) and were asked to go into character a bit and do some improv, but they couldn't just do that. Finally Marina says, “Captain, he's hiding something,” and Brent did the head twitch. You had to be there, maybe.

One of the best questions was for Brent: how did you play Data so serious when you're so funny?

Answer? “I faked it!” Which is pretty much my whole philosophy of confidence. If you don't know how to do something, just pretend you do, or you know you can learn, and then go out and get the For Dummies book. That simple.

Anyway, it turns out someone stole the Troi wig too. What is it with wig security at Paramount! Ugh!

I'd love to love Rod Roddenberry, but he's just not being loveable. He comes and talks about Roddenberry.com, he's not funny ever. This time he brought his friend Trevor, who is his co-conspirator on Roddenberry.com and that was better, plus his mom was there briefly. She is not looking well, but then she's gotta be about eighty. She was in a wheelchair and looks very thin – but you can still see Number One, and Nurse Chapel, and definitely Lwaxana.

Anyway, Rod was annoying me there too, because he was running interference for her. Is she really so feeble that she can't answer questions put to her? Her answers, when she got a word in edgewise, wouldn't indicate that at all. And yet she's been doing this longer than Rod's been alive, why would he run interference for her now?

It worries me.

They snuck her off the stage during the showing of a video and part of me wonders if we'll ever see her again at a convention. What was sad was that there weren't many questions for her – and yes, I did ask one. Rod spent five minutes making me repeat it while she tried to answer in the background. It was frustrating.

Garrett Wang was up next, and he was really hilarious, just like I always thought he'd be. Okay, so I still have a liiiitle crush. Anyway, he had great stories, one I just love about George Takei and a similar one about Kate Mulgrew. He complained about Harry's lack of promotion, and then he told a story about meeting someone named Harry Kim who was, at one point, Ensign Harry Kim. In the Navy. Our Navy. Too cool.

He wanted to have Endgame to To Be Continued. Yeah, I think many of us, despite the years of torture by such masterpieces as “Shattered” and “The 37s” would have liked that too, given the actual ending of Endgame. Then make a TV movie or something.

Anyway, there was another story about Jeri Ryan's elbow and one about Pon Farr that I'll probably write up later. Just trust me, hilarious.

Great quotes of the day:

“Some of them I'm not enamored of.”
-Michael Forrest on Shakespeare's plays

“We love the originals – Star Trek was the first.”
-Michael Okuda

“Look, if you feel this strongly about it, why don't you come onboard. Otherwise, don't complain.”
-Dave Rossi, as quoted by Michael Okuda, after Michael had turned down TOS Remastered but then listed about 8 billion things they had to do.

“...maybe we weren't entirely successful.”
-Michael Okuda, on trying to make the NX-01 look less futuristic than the 1701.

“The last year [of Enterprise] was actually a gift.”
-Denise Okuda

“Shouldn't it be Doctor Whom?”
-Brent Spiner, on Doctor Who

“Between [Brent] and his CD and Michael Dorn and his airplane it's a wonder I can get a word in edgewise.”
-Marina Sirtis

“Star Trek will live because – look around you.”
-Majel Barrett Roddenberry

“Star Trek is Gene Roddenberry's. No one else's.”
-Majel Barrett Roddenberry

“Ensign Kim is the love child of Uhura and Data.”
-Garrett Wang

I'd just also like to say that I was gifted during this weekend by the incredible generosity of the Trekkies at this convention. They made it possible for me to do things like go to the strip and visit the Experience (for the last time ever), and I am eternally grateful.

What do you do if the matter/antimatter containment fails?

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1683878951/bctid1691247585

That's a video of some guy at comic-con asking JJ Abrams and Bob Orci one question.

He got a good one.

It's spoiler-free. More of a Trek knowledge one.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Hey, guess what!

Really briefly becaue I found a wifi spot but forgot my notebook - I got the Okudas to answer The Question, I addressed Majel Barrett Roddenberry, I got within touching distance of George Takei, and now I discover that not only do I share a birthday with Gillian Anderson - I share one with Eric Bana as well. How cool is that!

I'll be posting a more complete thing... just...later. I have to go to the convention now. Yay!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Now I'm Angry

I love Rose Tyler. Like, a lot. She was an awesome character and I love wearing hoodies because of her, m'kay? If that's stupid, so be it. Also, I was a huuuuge Ten/Rose fan, so... yeah.

And then here comes Steven Moffat, the new head Doctor Who guy (I know I'm new to the show, but who cares, it's awesome, which is probably why I never watched it sooner - I got hook-ed) Anyway, he says, and I quote, "You have to hand it to the Doctor for dumping a slightly needy girlfriend by palming her off on a copy of himself."

Way to bring in the Ten/Rose fans, Moffat old chap!

Bill Shatner's LiveVideo

So on Bill's new weblog it has some behind-the-scenes of his WOW commercials. Ordinarily I wouldn't watch behind-the-scenes of a commercial, but he's Bill Shatner, so... wow. It shows him not knowing the meaning of something the director says. Now, I don't know what that word means either but it's an interesting choice to post on your own LiveVideo.

Two Days

Leaving for Vegas in two days. I'm getting my notes together and whatnot.

My birthday is Saturday, which is when Brannon's planning to show up (bringing Manny Coto as a sacrificial lamb and a sneak preview of 24 to distract us with).

Leonard and Zach on Sunday.

Wish me luck getting a question there.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Let's Recap

Recently rewatched "Before and After". Let's recap.

Kes warns Janeway that eleven months from now they're going to meet a species called the Krenim that will wreak havoc. Leaving aside the Temporal Prime Directive implications, Janeway welcomes full knowledge of their future.

Kes leaves the ship, and sends them 10 years closer to home.

They still run into the Krenim (in fact, they spend two episodes running into the Krenim). Anyone?

My friend at work tells me that the Krenim were expanding their space with their timeship thingy but ten thousand light years seems like a stretch for that to apply.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Truth still has some bite SPOILERS AFTER ALL





I know a lot of people were wondering.

But I won't spoil the ending.

I'll only say this: fans will love it. Non-fans will love it. If there isn't another, that's okay because it ended well. If there is another, there's room for that too.

Do you remember the baseball ep, where Mulder taught Scully to hit the ball at the end? Remember the relaxed, carefree moment, where just for that one minute they'd won that little moment to just be ? Remember how we all felt about that, for them, and for us? Well, that's how it ended. Only without the baseball.

There were little things. There was Samantha - even though Mulder knows she's dead, there was Samantha. There was Scully and her issues - finally getting out of the car, I guess. There were pencils in the ceiling. There was Skinner. There was a jerk at the FBI. There was pain. There was joy. It was true classic X-Files. And it was beautiful. And now I don't even want to believe, I do believe that the last few years were just a break in what is otherwise a very good time for Sci-Fi, and that everything will be okay. They mentioned some classic cases - and they drew on some they didn't mention. They mentioned Gerry Schnauss and Clyde Bruckman. Scully had moments. Mulder had moments. Skinner had a really interesting moment.

I cried. I gasped. I had trouble remembering to breathe when the theme rang out. It was a small town theater that had more than half the seats empty, which is the most packed I've ever seen that theater.

I smiled, and laughed, and then at the end - I can't say (shouldn't say. Bad bad bad), except to say that they've earned that. Give it four years and we'll have a nice Christmas movie in 2012, I think, because this was good and they still have to wrap up the mythology or I will beat Chris Carter to death with a truck.

Not really.

Because I can't lift a truck.

Maybe a snowplow.

You'll get that later if you don't get it yet.

Oh, and you know what?

Mulder finally found a place where his cell phone won't work!

That totally had spoilers. I'm adding a warning to the title.

I Want to Believe

No, I haven't seen it yet for a variety of reasons.

I'm about to, though.

I have faith in this movie. I don't know how to express my faith except to say that I Want to Believe, as trite and cliched as that sounds these days. It's a little like "Who ya gonna call?" (never usable again) but it still fits the situation.

Today, more than most, I see the parallels between Star Trek and The X-Files. Beloved Sci-Fi, suffering from... let's just say creative overshooting and call it good. Each has a movie - this one chance to recover what they've lost.

Star Trek's not out yet. There's nothing I can do, and it makes me feel helpless. But I can help The X-Files while I wait - and trust that the X-Files fans will help me out when it's my turn.

I'll come back with spoilers.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

It sounds insane, but...

Someone has actually decided they want to build the Utopia Planitia shipyards.

http://utopiaplanitiagroup.blogspot.com

And I get to help! Go me!

Randy Pausch died today.



His last lecture became highly popular online, and he was given a small role in the new Trek movie.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I change my wallpaper every day...

There's a point to me telling you this. When I changed my wallpaper today, I put one up that says "Let's make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise."

Now, lately we've had to worry that that just might happen. Something could go very wrong with the movie, something did go very wrong with Enterprise, and yeah, everyone's a little scared. It's a scary time.

But let's talk about X-Files for a moment.

To say it's had ups (Season 6) and downs (Season 9) would be an understatement. Tonight, though, it gets another chance, and we get another chance to believe. It's not called "I Want to Believe" for nothing, you know.

Tonight, we see the thing we've wanted for Trek happen to another franchise (one that a lot of people love with that same kind of passion that I have for Trek) and we know that this can happen for us too. It doesn't matter if the movie flops tomorrow - what matters is that now, tonight, there is a chance for a revival or a rebirth or whatever you want to call it. It's not the one we've been waiting for - 297 days, folks - but for now it represents the chance we're going to have soon.

And it's not like I don't like the X-Files. Really really love it, actually.

So even though we're not even close to the release of Star Trek - although we're not exactly far away either - take this chance to revel in the victory we're waiting for for our own franchise and hope that it foreshadows what's coming for us (assuming our movie rocks. Which it had better).

Mostly I'm writing this because I'm tired, but also excited to be alive at this time, when nerds are finally cool.

Nero's ears

Spoiler heavy. Just so we're clear.









So, Nero is the villain. We've been told this.

The Villains are Romulans. We've been told this too.

Why are Nero's ears rounded?

Alex Kurtzman says Nero isn't necessarily a Romulan.

So...

Great to finally hear something from Kurtzman!

Spoilers Make the World go 'Round. Or Boldly. Whatever.

Leonard Nimoy just did a Trekmovie interview where he said that the movie is more of an adventure story than a social commentary. Uh-oh. That's one of the things I liked LEAST about Voyager and Enterprise.

He goes on to say that it does tell us revenge is bad, which I think we figured out very well from Nemesis, thank you! Whole new set of worries there.

Leonard also says he was concerned about acting as Spock after 18 years. Once he got on the set, that went away, and the director and the cast were wonderful and we'll all be very happy.

Well, if there's one thing he knows, it's us. I feel better now.

TWOK was a revenge movie too, you know.

And on a size-and-scope scale, this is bigger than TMP. Jeebus. And it's going to run away with the record for Star Trek box-office gains (I know my opening-day plans are certainly going to reflect that).

Geekalicious



That would be Doctor Who (in Levis) shaking hands with some guy and Patrick freaking Stewart standing Right There. Awesome. Okay, Doctor Freaking Who is really David Tennant, who is pretty damn hot and BTW.... Geekalicious! Nerdalicious! Whatever!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Whoa Nellie!

We all know the concept of "The City on the Edge of Forever", right? McCoy accdentally changes history so Starfleet never forms by saving the life of a young woman who died in a traffic accident in 1930 New York. Simple, right? Kirk and Spock go back to stop him, Kirk falls in love with the girl, and it all ends pretty tragically.

Okay, but I just noticed something.

Kirk and the girl (Edith) walk across the street. Edith mentions McCoy's name. Kirk realizes McCoy is there, tells her to stay put, shouts for Spock, and runs across the street, instructing her to stay put again. McCoy comes out to see what the yelling's about and they all have a group hug, and then Edith crosses the street toward them, when she gets hit and dies.

So she wouldn't have been in the street at all without time travel.

The Guardian (the thing that sent them all back in the first place) says "Time has resumed it's shape." But the part it didn't say was that they're the ones who put it in that shape in the first place. Spock says Edith was meant to die - but without their interference, she could have lived.

Now despite her efforts (she was a very nice person), the world was a better place without her in it (long story if you don't know) but if you follow the chain of events, it may be that what Ellison is really saying in this ep is that while a single death can save millions, it may be that those millions should have died in the place of that one person. All we know for sure about that future is that the Enterprise never visited this one planet in this one system. It could be that Edith was able to capture the world for good in a totally different way than it ended up playing out.

So basically, maybe the correct thing to do was let her live after all.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

That does it.

Finished watching X-Files in it's entirety just in time for I Want to Believe. Only four days left now, and boy am I ready!

I also finished another chapter of my ongoing bit-off-more-than-I-can-chew X Files story, The Mulder Files (one of those really great Ideas that really doesn't work in practice) so I'm gonna copy/paste that in here. This is Chapter 4, "The Jersey Devil". The whole thing is at my fanfiction.net site, http://www.fanfiction.net/~drtaylor, but you don't really want to read it there because there was a thing with trying to write two multi-chapter fics at once and long story short I have to replace some chapters. The first few up to Jersey Devil are pretty good, but I still need to wait a bit to post it, so you can read it here for now.

Actually I'll probaby post and then revise.

But back to what I was saying, I'm so excited about this movie because not only is David Duchovny hot and the show amazing and not only do I share Gillian Anderson's birthday (too cool) but I love that they're ditching the mythology for this movie. Could there be anything more wonderful?

Don't get me wrong, I reaaaaaly want to see how this all ends, but... classic X-Files. Big screen. Yeah.

And just to be annoying, my chapter...



Eugene Tooms attacked Scully on July 24 and a week later we had the report signed and corrected for spelling errors and ready to go. I's dotted, T's crossed, and so on.


Man, was that boring.


We tried, we really did. Toom's physical was strange enough to warrant further study, but somehow his jackass lawyer managed to get the results of the DNA tests we ordered withheld. Which meant that we couldn't prove any of my theory – all we had was his attack on Scully to keep him in the psych ward. And I know psych wards – they're overcrowded things, which means eventually he'll get released.


So the report we filed with Blevins said something along the order of, “We think this is the guy, the murders have stopped, no evidence, Agent Scully cannot confirm or deny.” I can tell that Blevins is just gonna love that. He's a loving kind of guy, Blevins.


Suffice to say: by the 31st, we were done with this case and back to throwing pencils at the ceiling. Or at least we would have been had Scully not come down with a chronic case of clean-the-desk.


It all started when I got to work the following day armed with a fresh box of #2s, to find Scully in the hallway with my slide projector cart. Only my slide projector wasn't on the cart. It was empty.


“Scully,” I asked, “what are you doing?”


She gave me the look you give someone when they catch you eating chocolate at a health-food symposium. “Just getting some supplies, Mulder.” She nodded at the cart. “I needed the wheels.”


She's cracked. “Oh...kay...,” I replied. I tried to smile convincingly at her and headed into the office.


Scully returned ten minutes later with my cart loaded with garbage bags, cleansers of various scents, and paper towels. “Okay, Mulder,” she said, “the time for pencil darts is over. We are going to clean this office. Do you know how many germs and molds love to grow in the dark and the dank?”


I couldn't think of anything to do but stare.


“Mulder!”


Focus, Fox. “Scully, um... why now?”


“Because we have the time, Mulder. I'm sick of working in this unhealthy environment. God only knows what I've been exposed to...”


She continued on that vein for quite some time, scrubbing out her desk drawers in an energetic manner. But I knew why she was really doing it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist – just someone who's read a psychology textbook. She was cleaning her desk because of Tooms. Because of what Tooms did to her. I felt, very strongly, that that sucked. Scully deserved better than that.


Oh well, I'll just have to try harder to keep her safe. Just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again. She's an FBI agent – She lives for danger. And eventually she'll get past it and never ever get attacked in her own home again.


So why do I feel so uneasy?


Scully cleaned the entire back area of the office before the next week. She straightened the files in their drawers and made me shift the cabinets to scrub the walls behind them. She cleaned all the drawers and mopped the floor, possibly for the first time ever in the history of that floor. I know it hasn't been done since I worked here, for example.


I was hesitant to come in on Monday. What if she was still cleaning? But instead, she isn't there.

Well, maybe she took a personal day. She deserves one. This wacko almost ripped out her liver.

Give me a chance to get back to my work. This morning, the gunmen called me up to tip me off that a woman had given an interview about being abducted by aliens to a magazine. I picked one up on the way in and pulled it out to read through her story while I wait for something better to do.

Anything is better to do than, say, watch Scully go quietly nuts.

The door opens, and there it is. Scully, in all her Scullyish glory, with an extremely amused look on her face.

Amused?

Which is about when I realize how this looks. I'm sitting at my desk reading “Hanky Panky” magazine. Not that I don't have an entire drawer of porn in the bottom left, but this is right out there in public where any Scully could just walk in – business hours and everything.

“Working hard Mulder?”

I turn the magazine around so she can see. “This woman claims to have been taken aboard a spaceship and held in an anti-gravity chamber without food and water for three days.” And the picture looks like the anti-gravity had an effect too.

“Anti-gravity's right.” I chuck the magazine at the desk. I hate when she reads my mind. “I hate to interrupt your serious investigation, but I just heard a story that'd just about take your knees out.”

Reeeeealy? No cleaning? “What's that?”

“They found a body in the New Jersey woods yesterday, missing it's right arm and shoulder. They think they may have been eaten off, by a human.”

Wow. A real Jersey Devil. “Where in New Jersey?”

“Just outside Atlantic City.”

That fits, but she'll have an explaination. “Not an uncommon place to lose a body part. They think it's the mob?”

“It was a homeless man. There doesn't seem to be a motive.”

Well, no motive usually screams X-File. Also, it happened before – in 1947. I grab my jacket. “You feeling lucky Scully?”

“Relative to whom?” The file is right where I left it in the drawer by my desk. “It's not our case Mulder, the local police are handling it.” I hand her the file. “An X-File?”

Yes, yes it is. “Ever hear of something called The Jersey Devil?”

“Yeah, it's a beast that's supposed to come out of the woods and attack cars, right. Kind of like an East Coast Bigfoot.”

Close enough. We have the drive to Atlantic City to figure this out. “Read the file about the case in 1947.”

She follows me out of the office. “Save me the trouble.”

We get in the elevator. “Do you know the story of the Jersey Devil?”

She nods. “My brother told me about it when I was a kid. Something about cursed kids living in the woods.”

Something like that. “Well, there's a couple of different legends. One was about a woman named Mrs. Leeds, whose thirteenth child was born with horns and hooves and ate all the other children and the parents before climbing out the chimney to begin terrorizing travellers on the local roads. The Devil is said to live near Winslow, New Jersey, but we don't really know what it is. Sightings go back to the 1700s. It's been blamed for killing livestock and people. Which brings me to the X-File.”

The elevator doors open and we head into the bullpen to get our car rented.

“1947, family watches dad get dragged off into the woods, cops find dad with a few appendages gnawed off. Cops corner a large naked man in the woods and gun `im down.” We stop at the equipment desk. “autopsy shows human flesh and bones in the man's large intestine. A beast man.” Doreen turns to look at me. “Requisition for a car please.”

“Is the autopsy report in here?”

I take the requisition form and begin filling it out. “No, the original disappeared from the Patterson PD's files a few years after the incident. But there is a statement from the attending pathologist.”

“Mulder it's the same story I've heard since I was a kid. It's a folk tale, a myth.”

I never thought it was a myth. “I heard the same story when I was a kid too, funny thing is, I believed it.” I hand in my form and get the keys. “Thanks Doreen.” I turn back to Scully. “Fact is, we got a cannibalized body in New Jersey, someone or something out there is hungry.”

And as far as I'm concerned, that's that. I head for the garage.

Scully catches me halfway to the door. “Mulder, how do you know it's the Jersey Devil? It could be anything.”

She doesn't get it, does she? “But no one knows what the Jersey Devil is. So it might as well be.”

Scully sighs and follows me to the garage.



The coroner, Dr. Glenna Santos, greets us in her office in the typical way of a coroner. “So, you're here to see the body with the arm eaten off?”

I love coroners. Straightforward. Like Quincy.

Scully looks taken aback. “Yes...” she replies. Even though she's a pathologist herself, she hasn't spent much time dealing with her own kind, I guess.

Glenna goes over to the morgue drawers and pulls out a body. “Er, they say animals can develop an appetite for human flesh but, this is no animal. You see the teeth marks, just below the clavicle, they're human.”

She takes off the gloves she put on without my even noticing and steps away to let Scully take a look.

Huh. I hate bodies. “Who found the body?”

“Park Ranger.”

Scully takes a look at the bite marks while I wander, looking for anything odd. Not that I'd really know.

“Was he alive when it happened?” she aks.

“Well, it's hard to tell.” I examine the toe tag. “There's a scull fracture but no sign of a struggle, his blood alcohol level was up, probably never knew what hit him.”

What hit him, anyway? “Any ideas about that?”

“The size of that bite mark, I'd say...”

“I want this on the QT,” someone says, and I can feel the air chill as the Local Territorial Detective approaches.

“...large adult male,” finishes Glenna as someone unseen promises to do his best. The Detective walks into the room and gives me the “I hate you, you unwelcome meddler” look. I know it well. “Er, Detective Thompson is handling the case.”

“Glenna?” he asks, though he's looking at me.

Scully steps in, waving her I.D. “Hi, I'm Special Agent Dana Scully and this is Agent Fox Mulder.”

“I don't remember anybody calling the FBI in on this.”

Terrif. “Well we're not here on an official capacity, Agent Scully's a medical doctor, we heard about your victim and, she thought she might take a look.”

“I'm sorry, I'm gonna ask you to leave. We have an investigation.”

Glenna's on our side. “For God's sakes Tommy, this is no time to get pissy.”

“We have jurisdiction here.”

He's gonna kill me. I hope he chooses something painless. “Any suspects yet Detective?”

“I don't work for you sir, and unless you hear different from the Attorney General, er, this case is a local matter.”

I'm about to retort, but... “Agent Mulder, we should go.”

Right. Breathe. “There's no need to get bent outta shape,” I tell the detective.

“On the contrary, I think I've been exceedingly polite.”

And now we're in a staring match. Stupid bastard's not worth my time. I turn away and leave.


We get to the car and hop back in to drive back to Washington. “So what's eating that guy?”

“He was perfectly in his rights. The FBI has no overriding jurisdiction in a murder case. Anyway, you'd feel the same way if someone was horning in on your work.”

Except I'm the only one who wants this job. “Yeah, chances are he's without a clue. He'll probably be scratching his head when they bring the next body in.”

“You missed your opening Mulder, you could've really humiliated him and told him who the perpetrator was The Jersey Devil.” Said with irony. She's got quite a sense of humor – before her, everyone but me treated my FBI pariah status as deadly serious.

I'm not quite done here, I realize. “Hey whadda you say we grab a hotel, take in a floor show, drop a few quarters in the slot, do a little digging on this case.”

“You're kidding, right?”

We're in Atlantic City! Come on, let's enjoy it, take a poke around. Have some FUN. “Okay, we can skip the floor show.”

“Mulder I have to be back in D.C.”

For what? “What you got a date?”

“No, I have my godson's birthday party at 6:30.” Can't argue with that, I guess. More for me. I chuck the keys over the car at her. “What are you doing?”

“A little poking around, maybe make a weekend out of it.”

I head for the nearest motel – the Galaxy Gateway -, and behind me, I hear Scully complaining about the length of the drive and the traffic, but she doesn't ask me to come back.



I drop by the casino across the street for dinner, and then check the phone book for the number for Parks Services.

“Parks Services, Rosette speaking.”

Another day, another secretary. “Rosette, this is Special Agent Mulder with the FBI. I need to speak to the ranger who found the body in the park the other day.”

She pauses for a moment. “Oh...kay..,” papers rustle in the background. “It was a ranger named Peter Boulay. I'll patch you through to his radio.” She pauses for a moment. “Good luck.”

Great. I finally get someone marginally on my side and it's a glorified Park Ranger secretary. Maybe if I need a good map of the park she can help me.

Drat.

“Thanks, Rosette.”

There is a click and a hum, and then, “Peter Boulay speaking.”

At least I reached him. “Mr. Boulay, this is Agent Mulder with the FBI. I wonder if you'd be willing to show me where it was you found that body the other day.”

There's a pause.

“Sure, I guess. Where are you now?”

“Atlantic City. A casino called-” I glance at the sign- “The Galaxy Gateway.”

“Okay, I'll meet you at the main gate in, say, an hour?”

Sounds good. “Thanks, Mr. Boulay. See you then.” I hang up the phone.

Park rangers. Now it's park rangers.


I pull into the free parking and Boulay drives me out to the spot where he found the body. He doesn't talk on the drive and I don't try to initiate conversation.

Park rangers, by the nature of their jobs, are more security officers and nature conservators than police. While they may deal with camper-related crimes, they don't get the usual assault and murder stuff we get out in the real world. Finding a body in a state park is the kind of thing that happens so rarely that there's no training for what to do if it happens – they have to rely on what they learned watching Quincy.

He stops by a creek and we get out of the truck. He points toward the water. “Found the body just over there, lying face down in the rocks. Thirty-two years with the park service, I've come across some weird stuff but I tell ye, never anything like this.”

I wonder where he was killed. “Victim was a homeless man, you get many of them wandering around out here?”

“Well, occasionally, see some but, most are scared of the woods.”

What a shock. “Scared? Of what?” The Jersey Devil.

“I don't know, the devil.”

I love being right. “People say that's just a myth.”

He shrugs. “Depends on who you talk to.”

“What do you think?”

“Well like I said, now thirty-two years, I see alot of weird stuff. Like one time, a little over four years ago, I saw what I thought was a, large man come out of a, copse of birch trees, not, not a stitch of clothing. And he was about, sixty yards away, and he starts, sniffing the air, you know like a dog. And then he looks straight at me, and I swear he smelled me because he took off into the woods so fast, you'd swear it wasn't human.”

The Jersey Devil. “Really. You never saw him again?”

“No, but I feel him. And, I found things, some scat, half buried like a cat's only more human. Found a half eaten rabbit with what looked like a human cuspid tooth in it. And some beer bottles, looked like they'd been sharpened into tools.”

Well how about that. The Gods Must Be Crazy. “You think it might be what's responsible for the body you found?”

He chuckles. “I got a pension coming up in a few years, you know, you say the wrong thing.”

So he does think so, but I'll never hear it. “Yeah.”

“I'll tell you one thing, I don't ever come out here without my weapon anymore.”

So the killer had to get the body to the park. “How far is it into town from here?”

“`Bout a mile, mile and a half.”

Well, I think I can find my way back, and he should get back to work. “I'm staying at the Galaxy Gateway for the next couple of days, if you think of anything, will you call me?”

“Sure.”

I follow the path next to the creek, deeper into the woods. It's kinda pretty out here, in a woodsy sort of way, but it's creepy too, probably because of what Boulay told me. It's a good fifteen minute walk, which gets my thoughts in order. The killer must have got the victim from the city. He walked down this path, found a Roger Crockett, and brought him into the woods. At some point, he killed Crockett and left the body by the creek.

The path comes out in an alley filled with homeless people and their boxes. I wander through them, asking if anyone knew Roger Crockett. If this is where the killer got his victim, someone may have seen it happen.

However, no one wants to talk. They just want my change. And then

“What d'you wanna know?”

Bingo. “Did you know Roger Crockett?” He nods. “Did you hear how he died?”

“Yeah.”

“Any ideas who might've done it?”

“You a cop?”

“No, I'm FBI.”

To the homeless, that's better. “I'll show you something.”

“Okay.”

He takes me into another alley. “I need some money.”

The man rummages through his bag and pulls out a piece of paper. He opens it, revealing a drawing of a really shaggy-looking man.

The Jersey Devil? “What is this?”

“Stuck in the pocket of a jacket I found.”

That doesn't give me much. “Does it mean anything to you?”

“I've seen it.”

Now we're talking. “Where?”

“Right here, digging in the trash.”

You're kidding. “Here? Are you hustling me?”

“Swear to God.”

Why would it dig through the trash? “Who do you think it is?”

“I don't know, scared the hell out of me.”

The path does come out right here. “Has anybody else seen it?”

“Oh yeah, everybody's pretty freaked.”

Freaked? That means publicity, of some kind or other. “Anybody told the cops?”

“You think they don't know.”

I should stay here tonight. “Where're you sleeping tonight?”

“You're standing in my bedroom.”

Well, since I'm not gonna be using my room, someone should. “You know The Galaxy Gateway?” I hand over my key. “Room 756. Go ahead.”

“Hey, they got HBO?”

Good thing I checked the TV program. “Yeah, they do.”


I've never slept in an alley before. It's not very cold, but the ground is unyielding and it sure feels like it should be freezing. I don't know how people do it.

I can't believe Scully left me here alone.

She's probably within her rights. It's not like she doesn't have a life, or plans. It's not like I don't have a life, at least in theory, that would be better served by being at home than being in Atlantic City sleeping in an alley. Who's gonna feed my fish if I don't go home?

At least I remembered to cancel my standing order from the Chinese place for tonight.

It's something that hasn't occurred to me. My work tends to run in streaks – and Scully may not know that. She might not be at her godson's next birthday party. Or her parents' anniversary, or her siblings' weddings. We won't always be in Atlantic City. She won't be able to catch a train back from New Mexico, or rural Idaho at a moment's notice.

These are things we need to keep in mind. Or, rather, I need to keep in mind, since it's really because of me that she's in this stupid quest to begin with. I mean, I guess it's actually Blevins' fault that I “need” a partner, but Scully is my responsibility and if I'm going to ruin her friendships and her relationship with her family it'd better be worth it. The problem is, not having any friends other than the Gunmen and not having a relationship with either of my parents kind of makes me not know what I'm missing. I guess we'll just have to handle long-distance plans when we come to them.

A can rattles. I take a good look around.

There's a shadowy figure at the end of the alley, digging in the trash. Isn't that more of a daytime activity? The man/woman/thing sniffs the air as I approach, but doesn't run off. Once I'm about ten feet away, it climbs the fence at the end of the alley.

It's gone.

Not for long though. I climb up the fence and see it moving down a catwalk toward the street. It would be quicker to climb over the fence, but I don't want to startle it, so I just follow along the side of the fence until I hit the street. I can see something moving on the roof of a nearby building. So I do the manly thing. I whistle. It stops, turns to look at me, and maybe I have a chance, but-

Cops. A car and a van. They have their brights on, and they pull up to the curb in front of me. An officer gets out. “Sir.”

I point upwards. “You got a man up on that roof.”

“Nothing to be afraid of, we're gonna give ye a warm place to sleep it off.” He tries to grab my arm.

Oh, come on. Just 'cause I slept in an alley - “Hey back off.”

“Alright, calm down.”

Shouldn't they be investigating? “I'm telling you, there's a man up on that roof.”

“Get in the car, now.”

They're not gonna investigate. I let him cuff me and put me in the back of his car.

Dammit.



I'm taken straight to interrogation. This sucks. I'm usually on the other side of the two-way mirror.

Detective Thompson joins me. Just when my night couldn't suck more.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?”

I think I was hunting for a killer. “Enjoying the night life here in beautiful Atlantic City.”

“I'll go right to the D.A.'s office if I have to, obstructing an investigation, misconduct.”

You're kidding. I wasn't obstructing anything. And, yeah, I guess sleeping in an alley would be misconduct, but I was awake, thank you. “That's good, let's go see her together, and while we're at it, why don't we add withholding evidence to the list.”

“Wadda you talking about?”

Didn't he interview the witnesses? “Statements given to you describing something stalking the back streets of Atlantic City.”

“This is the fishing trip they get me up at three-o-clock in the morning for. Unbelievable”

I know he must have interviewed the witnesses. “Why else would you be sweeping the streets tonight? You know it's out there.”

“I got a perpetrator out there. Whether it's Hannibal the Cannibal or Elmer Fudd, I've got a job, to protect people.”

Maybe a little gangster talk? “Oh is that your job, or is it to keep the dice rolling, keep the tour buses rolling in. You can't fill those casinos, this town disappears like a quarter down the slot.” Or not. I decide to put my cards on the table. “I've seen it.”

“Seen what?”

I pull out the picture the guy in the alley gave me. and wave it in his face. Thompson chuckles. “You've been spending too much time in supermarket check-out lines.” Moron. “This story's as old as the hills.”

Groan. Scully in a tie. “Who's going to be responsible when you lose your first tourist, Detective? You are.”

“No, you are sir, because you're wasting my time, and impeding the solution of this case. He opens the door and then turns back to glare at me. “You wanna go on a safari, go to Africa. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

I have a feeling that Africa is not a place I would enjoy, and I'm not entirely sure why that is. Anyway, Thompson leaves me sitting there alone, wondering how it is I'm supposed to call Scully and tell her to pick me up from jail.

My turn for my one phone call comes about ten minutes later. Still no idea what I'm gonna say. I call the office, but there's no answer, so I call out to the bullpen, where she probably is anyway. Someone named Alice Hoffman answers the phone and hands it over to Scully.

Thank God Alice didn't ask where I was calling from. I think she might have gone into cardiac arrest from the sheer gossippy joy of it.

“Where are you?”

I wish Alice had asked me. Then I wouldn't be getting interrogated right now. “I'm not far from where you left me.”

“You're still in Atlantic City?”

Yeah... “Scully, you got anything happening this morning?”

“What's that noise in the background?”

Indeed, there is someone vomiting in my immediate vicinity. Three guesses what he got arrested for.

“That's a guy getting sick.”

“Mulder where are you?”

This should be fun. “Scully, I've been locked in a room with people getting sick all night. Where do you think I am?”

“The drunk tank.” She sounds resigned.

“Yeah, and I was wondering if you could drive up here and get me.”

“From the drunk tank.”

“I wasn't drunk,” I point out.

She sighs. “I'll be there.” She sounds resigned again.

“At least I'm not hung over,” I tell her.

Silence.

“I'm at Central Booking.”

“I'll be there,” she tells me, and I wish, just a little, that I could melt through the floor.


She gets there in three hours and she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Really. And that's when I realize her hair is red.

It's a funny thing – to me, it seems blond, but just for a second I realize that what I've seen as kind of a flat, uninteresting color, is, in fact, reddish. Just because I can't see the color doesn't mean it's there. It's something to remember about her. There's more to her than what I can see. Like loyalty.

The woman just drove three hours to fish me out of the drunk tank when she should have let me rot. She bailed me out. For whatever reason, she's not leaving me here to make my own way home. That's loyalty.

“What did you get arrested for, anyway?” she asks as we wander out the door and into the sunlight.

Ah.

“Vagrancy.” I mutter.

“Well, it's not hard to see why they mistook you for a vagrant,” she says, nodding at my clothes.

“You gonna rag on me or you gonna take me to get something to eat?” I ask her. God, I could eat a horse.

“Am I buying or did you manage to panhandle some spare change while you were at it?”

Hardy har har. “Let me check out of my hotel room, and then I'll buy you breakfast.”


I'm starving, but Scully sticks to coffee and a muffin. I don't know why – it's one of the better restaurants I've been in since I started traveling all over looking for aliens. As soon as our food arrives, Scully begins the interrogation. “Mulder, what on Earth possessed you to spend the night in an alley in Atlantic City?”

I decide that cryptic answers probably won't help the situation. “I went out to see where they found the body, followed a path back to an alley full of people who said that someone's been hanging around rummaging through the trash at night, so I decided to take a chance.” She polishes off her muffin in silence after that.

“I saw it around three in the morning, digging through a dumpster,” I tell her and get no reaction except to watch her drink her coffee.

“It moved like a cat, quick and graceful. There's no way a human could've got up on the roof that fast,” I add, knowing she'll just ignore the fact that suddenly there's a roof in this story.

“Mulder...”

“What?”

“What's gonna happen when word of this gets back to the bureau?”

That's what she's worried about? “They dropped the charges, that guy Thompson, he ran me through the system just to spite me.”

“I'm talking about this Jersey Devil thing.”

Who cares? They probably won't pay any attention, just like always. Or I'll get fired for doing my freaking job. “I saw it, it's exactly the way the ranger described it, the way it moved, the way it sniffed the air. It's come out of the woods, probably in search of food.”

“Yeah, I'll say.”

“It was peeking through the garbage Scully, if it was a man-eater, why didn't it come after me? Probably felt threatened in some way...” Animal behavior. Think primitive man...

“Mulder, listen to yourself. You're already ascribing it a motive and an alibi. This thing, chewing somebody's arm off is not exactly a defensive posture.”

“But you do believe that I saw something, don't you?”

“You saw something, I'll give you that but I'm not about to go in and sell it. Not when it's nothing more than a sighting in a dark alley.”

“I still got a hotel room I'm paying for,” I tell her, which I meant to check out from before I ate, darn it.

“Yeah well, I have got to get back to Washington by 7:30, so er...”

“Another birthday party?” Does she never have a night off?

“No. I have a date.”

A what now? I need her! “Can you cancel?”

“Unlike you Mulder, I would like to have a life.”

That hurts. “I have a life!” Says the man who just got arrested after trying to spend the night in an alley. On purpose.

Scully chuckles. “C'mon, I have somebody I want you to meet, on the way home. C'mon.”

I force another few swallows before she can drag me out the door.



“On the way.”

I distinctly remember her saying “On the way.”

So how come we're adding an hour to our drive time by going past both our place of work and our homes “on the way”?

There's only one explaination. Scully's snapped.

Of course, I don't want to say anything. Thou Shalt Not argue with the person who just drove to Atlantic City to bail you out of the drunk tank first thing in the morning on a Saturday after you made her drive home alone on a Friday night in traffic with a time crunch.

And what was she doing at the office on Saturday anyway?

And why is it that we're pulling into the University of Maryland on a Saturday? Is anyone likely to be here? At all?



We drive through campus while Scully mutters to herself under her breath (no doubt trying to find parking, which in Universities is practically impossible to find). We end up in someplace called Union Lane, which, judging by Scully's muttering is a good place to be, and wander through the endless walkways that are the staple of university life to Woods Hall, land of the anthropology department.

Lucky for me, the anthropology department has coffee, because I'm rapidly running out of steam. Scully takes a look at a floor directory, then pulls me into the office of a Doctor Louis Diamond. My head hurts. I'm so going to kill her for this.

Louis Diamond also has coffee, I notice in a kind of abstract way.

Scully greets him warmly, and he also has to remember her. “Dana! Wonderful to see you? Last I heard, you were in medical school. Are you practicing?”

Scully kind of winces. “Actually, I joined the FBI. I'm here on a case, we were hoping to get an opinion from the anthropological perspective.”

Diamond frowns. “Dana, I'm not really someone who the FBI commonly-”

She cuts him off. “I just need some background. My partner here-” she gestures to me “-thinks we've found the Jersey Devil.”

Doctor Diamond looks at me closely, with kind of a perturbed frown. I swoop in and shake his hand. “Hi. Fox Mulder.”

“The Jersey Devil?” he asks.

I nod. “Yep.”

He gestures to the chairs in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”

I sit, but Scully remains standing. Doctor Diamond begins pacing around the room in that annoying way academics have. “The Jersey Devil is an archetype, Mr. Mulder. I don't think it's likely that it actually exists, although parts of the myth may be based on actual people or events.”

So the Leeds family actually existed but never had a demon child? “Do you mind if I-” I gesture to the coffee maker. I'll need some fuel to stay awake through this.

He nods once and then resumes pacing. I jump at my chance for caffeine. “Just about every culture has one. Yetis, Sasquatch, Russian Almas, Dsonoqua.”

I don't get it. “Why is that?”

“Oh, it's a kind of universal wild man myth. A symbolic fear of our dual natures as humans, as creators of life and destroyers of it.”

There is a chart on the wall behind the coffee machine. It's a map of the world with a lot of x's on it. “What's this chart?”

“It shows the historic entry of man onto each continent and the effect it had on other animal species, which as you see has been disastrous.”

I can't help myself. “Why?”

“Well, we humans have retained hereditary traits through evolution that have proven to be extremely destructive. We tend to be tribal and aggressively territorial, oriented by selfish sexual and reproductive drives that make, co-operation beyond the family-a-tribe, extremely hard for us.”

He's walking right into my point, and Scully's gonna kill me. “So we kill other species in order to survive.”

“Yeah, humans are top carnivores, we sit at the top of the food chain and we, reduce other species' chance of survival.”

“Nice to know Dana left here with more than a degree,” says Doctor Diamond.

“But what if something entered the food chain above us?” I ask.

The doc grabs himself a cup of coffee and Scully sits down. Yep. Got 'em now. “It won't happen, see our intelligence virtually insures us, barring the introduction of some alien life-form, we will live out our days as rulers of the world.”

Barring aliens. Great. “But, but what if through some fluke of nature, a human was born, who reverted to it's most animal instincts, a kind of carnivorous neanderthal. Wouldn't he occupy a space above us on the food chain?”

The doc chuckles. “Oh sure, all he'd have to do is wait outside any fast-food restaurant and eat us on the way in.”

“Right, yeah, an.and, and haven't there been cases were, men have been raised in the wilderness by animals who have no language and hunt like predators?”

“Oh yes several, but you see cannibalism is rare, even among the lower mammals.”

Except we're not talking lower mammals. “But even when faced with extinction?”

“Well maybe in the jungles of New Gineau or, it's just, highly unlikely that what you're suggesting could've survived civilization, a revolution, out in the woods of New Jersey.”

“Yea, highly unlikely, but not outside the realm of extreme possibility?”

“Well, it would be an amazing discovery.”

I look over to Scully then, victorious, but she just turns away.



Anyway, she takes me home in silence after that and goes back to her life and her date and whatever else the normal do on a Saturday night and I shower and change and drive over to headquarters to have a peek at some of my Jersey Devil pictures and do some comparing and some contrasting and maybe some psychology/anthropology type stuff, and while I'm at it dig through my head and see if any relevant stray information pops out at me.

Three hours later...

Well, that's not precisely accurate. It's just that the psych isn't any use, exactly, because whatever this thing is it acts like an animal. And the anthro isn't really my specialty, so I have to do a lot of reading, which means anthropology books, which I sort of had to go out of my way to find any of those and then I had to read them. And it's kind of boring to do this kind of work alone and I wish Scully was here and I can't believe I just thought that.

Usually when we do any kind of research we don't even talk. She reads medical journals and I read Weekly World News looking for crop circles. She raises an eyebrow when I rip out an article and I try to puzzle out the meanings of the medical terminology in the titles of her articles. It's a ritual, one I depend on, and without it I'm bored to tears.

At some point she became necessary to my work, like breathing or food or the ability to read. I could probably go back to how it was before, of course. And she really should ditch the basement as soon as she can. Best to get her gone before I get too attached.

Any day now.

It's 7:55. They're probably eating something wonderful in some nice restaurant instead of the leftover Chinese I picked at while I brushed my hair with the other hand.

The phone rings, startling me out of my daydream.

“Mulder.”

“Agent Mulder, this is Peter Boulay of the Jersey Parks Department.”

Oh boy. “Oh yeah, hi.”

“Hi, I found a body out in the woods today, it looks like it's been dead about six to eight months. A long haired male, missing the same tooth I found in that rabbit a while back. It could be your devil.”

I love it when things get easy. “Where's the body now?”

“I turned it over to the coroner's office.”

Of course, they always get difficult again. But animal societies have carefully defined gender roles which explains the whole 'why would it suddenly turn to cannibalism' thing. “You're sure it was a male?”

“Well, it had all the plumbing.”

Okay, so that's one problem solved. I'll have to get Scully to take a look at it in the morning.

Scratch that.

“Could you go down to the coroner's office in about three hours?” I ask him.

“Sure, I guess,” he replies, “Why?”

Someone is going to have to help me convince her. “I need backup.”

“Okay, Agent Mulder, I'll see you there.” He hangs up.

I have to get Scully to take a look at all of this, tonight. Before someone else dies. She probably doesn't have her cellular phone with her now, but her pager should be in her purse.

Just in case.

I page her and then start gathering the evidence in neat piles so I can dazzle her with my brilliance. The phone rings about five minutes later. “Scully -” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“Mulder.”

Cringe. “Sorry to interrupt your evening.”

“That's okay, what's up?”

“I just had an amazing thought, maybe it isn't a beast-man we're looking for after all.”

“What do you mean?”

“What if it's the beast-man's mate?”

There is a significant pause. “Mulder, I don't know if-”

“Scully, can you just come meet me? I've been doing research at headquarters and I have scientific evidence that validates my theory, and they just found the body of a naked man in the park in Jersey.”

Dead silence.

And then... “Okay, Mulder. Give me half an hour?”

Half an hour? I can live with half an hour.



Half an hour later I am crawling the walls and I don't want to admit it. I just want to see the look on her face when the evidence is all laid out in front of her, and here we are with a three-hour drive ahead of us to get to Atlantic City, and then we'll have to deal with the cop – or rather, avoid dealing with the cop – and Scully'll have to autopsy the body and admit that I'm right and then we have to find the Jersey She-Devil, and then we have to lock her up or whatever it is you do with She-Devils, and then the Bureau will admit that I'm somewhat legit, and then-

“Mulder?”

And then.

“I'm here, Scully.” She wanders into my office, where I have migrated to pack up my assorted evidence. “Come on. You can look over my evidence while I drive.” I grab my briefcase and head for the car lot, and she remains silent. Deathly silent.

It occurs to me that this is not good, and that it doesn't bode well for me, and that I broke into her date to drag her to Atlantic City, a place that she probably is not too fond of at this point, to go look at the body of something she doesn't believe exist.



I also call in Doctor Diamond and have him meet us too. When he objects to the late hour, I simply tell him we've got the Jersey Devil in the morgue.

Yeah, I better hope she's on my side, because if not I'm going down. She spends the trip in silence. I mean total silence. She doesn't make a peep when we stop for gas, or when I almost swerve off the road to avoid a possibly drunk driver. She grunts when we pass the Atlantic City limits, and every once in a while she turns a page in the stuff I've packed in the briefcase I packed her and she grunts at times – about when I would think she's hitting the more defining parts, or at least that's what I imagine. But she never demands that I let her out at a bus stop, and she never demands that I turn around.

I pull into the street in front of the coroner's office, and we go to find Glenna. I don't have to go far – she's in the lobby and yes, it is, in fact, after 11 at night. Some people have just as small a life as we do.

“Agents,” she says, “let's step into my office.”

We traverse the distance in silence, up an elevator and into the hallway full of autopsy bays, with me about to be bouncing off the walls if this drags on any more. She takes us into an office and there are Doctor Diamond and Peter Boulay. Thank God, a voice of sanity. We shake hands while Glenna digs into her filing cabinet and starts digging around. They both look extremely serious. Boulay looks at Scully. “The Body's gone.”

Well, crap. Scully looks daggers at me.

Glenna returns with the file. “Well, if they picked it up, nobody logged the body on the chart. I sure haven't seen it.”

Oh boy.

Boulay looks confused. “Well, I don't understand. What else would they have done with it?”

Scully winces. “I'm afraid we may have called you down here for nothing.” She's moved over to exchange greetings with Doctor Diamond.

“They're going to try and sweep this whole thing under the carpet,” I announce. As if they didn't know.

“Why?” Or maybe the academic-minded among us really don't know.

“Any publicity and you're got the streets crawling with the kind of people who aren't here to play the crap tables. Word gets out there's something still on the loose, forget it,” I explain in a nutshell.

“You said it was a female,” Diamond talks like he's continuing, but I think he skipped a few rails, and I think Scully fills people in faster than I ever thought possible. Without slide shows.

“The body they found was a male, there's a fifty-fifty chance there was a mate. We may never know unless we find out ourselves.”

He frowns. “If it's true, what're the chances of catching it alive?”

Best idea I've heard all night. Scully, however, looks aghast. “Alive?”

I think my grin scares her. “Alive.”



Peter Boulay has a tranq gun in his truck and Diamond has the expertise and Scully has the sarcasm. We set up in the alley where I got arrested for sleeping outside and wait for her to show up and have a snack. Diamond lectures the whole time about primates and their habits as we cut through the fence, finishing up with “If it is a primate, it would have a natural fear of heights. It would also want to stay close to it's food source.”

We step into an abandoned building next to the alley and take a look around. Diamond is wrong. “This thing has no fear of heights. We'll stay together and start with the lower floors. How much time will that dart give us?”

“It'll put down a five hundred pound bear for an hour, if I hit it,” Boulay tells me, which doesn't really give me any kind of answer. We go inside, content not to know, hiding in the shadows, listening to a faint sound of cars outside, waiting for something that may not come, might not even show up-

Or it might.

It will. It has to.

We search nooks and crannies and piles of rubbish, and then-

“Something here.”

It's Diamond. We all convene around him and the scrap of cloth he's holding. “It's blood. She could be bringing her killing here. She could be injured.”

It's plausible.

In the back of my mind for some reason I register a metallic sound outside. Sounds like it's a ways away. Scully and I climb the stairs to the next level, searching for something that does exist, has to exist, has to show up tonight because otherwise it's over. Scully will put up with a lot, but she has to know now what it means to be attached to me. Sure, it's worth it to me, but not to her.

Never to her. It can't be. I'm pretty sure she can spend more than two seconds with her family without someone saying something perfectly nasty to someone else. I don't want to ruin that for her.

Not unless it's worth it.

And it will never be worth it unless she's making Important Scientific Discoveries. Like the fact that the Jersey Devil is a real thing. I look out into the alley but I don't see anything. What if I'm wrong? Would I really care, if I got shut down. So long as Scully doesn't get dragged down with me.

Of course, if she's the one to shut me down I'll be royally pissed.

She's standing next to me, I realize, looking into the alley. “What if it is a female Scully? How close is she to you or me? Does she feel emotion? Or are her days just spent looking for food?”

“Maybe she spends her day shopping.”

“Eight million years out of Africa, I don't think we're all that different,” I tell her. Scully's a woman. Maybe they'll share a common bond.

“Mulder, we've put men into space, we've built computers that work faster than the human mind.”

Yes. “While we over-populate the world and create new technologies to kill each other with. Maybe we're just beasts with big brains.” She doesn't respond. “What?”

“No I was just, thinking about my godson's birthday party, eight little six year old boys running around, talk about primitive behaviour.”

What kind of territorial agression would take a godmother away from her godson? What is it that could really be worth that?

There is a voice below me. I look down and see Thompson talking to Diamond.

Dammit. Time's up.

“Now look, his name is Mulder and he's a federal agent, you ever hear of him?”

“No.”

Huh. “You know him?”

“No.”

Scully opens her mouth and I put a finger to my lips. She peers over the railing.

“Well what are you doing here?”

“I'm a professor of Anthropology.”

“Mulder, does that sound familar to you? Look, I know he's here somewhere. Would you check you upstairs Andrew, go check upstairs. I want this place searched...”

Some guy, Andrew I assume, moves off and we head upward.



There is a noise on the next floor, and when I turn my head someone runs by a busted out window. I chase her and hear Scully follow, and I slow and turn a corner in a rotting hallway and behind me -

“Mulder? Mulder where are you?”

Out the window is a woman, running over the next building. (Mulder looks out a window and sees the figure, the beast-woman, running across the top off an adjacent building. Next to the window is a hole in the wall, and I can jump onto that building and follow and Scully will find me later and be safer. Just later. I ignore the thump behind me. Across the roof a shadow moves and I duck so I won't be seen and then I crawl toward her and then suddenly she is there and boy does she smell. She walks by me and I tackle her to the ground, which is probably not my brightest move but I don't care because if I can prove the Jersey Devil is based on something then I win.

I win.

Me.

Only she's too fast for me and crosses a walkway to the next building and then I have to chase her of course and so I do that and I'm inside and down some stairs and it's dark but of course flashlights would not help right now and naturally the person who designed this saw a sci-fi movie and there's a spinning fan. Nice touch.

And there she is and she is mad and on top of me and not in the fun way. I land on my back and for a second I can't breathe and she's gone and then she's back and on my legs. Great.

A click.

I sit up but she smacks me down – hard. Now my head hurts too.

“Mulder?”

That gets her off my legs and the She-Devil is gone.

“Scully.”

She's here. Why the hell did she follow me?

I try to sit up but she won't let me. “Lay back. Oh, Mulder you're hurt.”

“You should've seen her, she was beautiful.” Proof. Real proof.

“Yeah well, she just about ripped your lungs out.”

Scully's hand comes away from my chest bloody and I decide shutting up would be good about now.


It's not as bad as she made it sound, and the paramedics are able to patch me up. Diamond keeps an eye on me while Scully deals with the inevitable bureaucracy but I'm too excited to wait for her to be done. “She could've torn my head off Scully but she didn't, she sensed that I wasn't a threat..”

“You've gotta hold still,” says the paramedic.

Scully is on the phone. “Yeah I need to talk somebody who can get me federal jurisdiction on this case.” She looks at me. “Mulder.”

“What?”

“How old would you say she was?” asks Diamond.

I stay on Scully. “What?”

“The US assistant D.A.'s on the phone with the bureau right now, he wants to know what the hell is going on up here in Atlantic City.”

Oh boy. “Well tell him he's got a real live neanderthal on the loose.” I turn to Diamond. “She was young, I, I, I don't know...It's hard to say exactly what, what, what...”

“The Atlantic City major crime unit has filed a complaint that we're endangering a murder investigation.”

There goes that. “That is such crap, you can...” how bad it is will be determined by how much of this sentence I get to finish.

“Agent Mulder, they got her cornered, in a building,” says Boulay over the P.A.

Oh dear. “Let's go.”



Thompson's got her cornered when I get there, and he's ready for the kill. I try to get to him, to stop him, to get in his face, but he has his goons.

“You could take her alive,” I tell him, but he doesn't listen.

“What's going on in there?” he asks his radio.

“I got a man down, I got a naked woman just jumped from a second storey window.” Oh no. “Suspect is headed south into the woods on foot.”

“Call the dogs,” Thompson tells the radio, and I know it's all lost.

Scully, oddly, is the one who wants to continue. “Come on, Mulder,” she tells me as she pulls me toward the car. “I bet we can get Boulay to help us search a lot faster.” She shoves me in the passenger side and then pulls out her phone and dials. “Mr. Boulay? This is Agent Scully. I need to meet you in the park – the cops are coming with dogs to find this woman-” There is a pause. “Right. South gate, keep away from the police. Okay, we'll see you in a few.” She hangs up to notice I'm staring at her.

“Do you think it's the Jersey Devil?” I ask.

She doesn't answer me for several minutes, and then she tells me, “I don't know what I think. I don't know what that woman is doing out in the woods. But she's there, and it's possible that at some point she has been mistaken for the Jersey Devil, so yeah, I guess in a way I do.”

She pulls into a side road and in the mirror I can see a line of police cars go past on the main road. “I just figured you didn't believe at all,” I tell her.

Another pause of several minutes. “I do believe, Mulder, but not what you believe. I was raised to believe in what I can't see – I was raised Catholic, did you know that?” I kind of suspected. She wears a cross most of the time. “Mulder, the difference is that I like to have clear scientific evidence. Now if we find this woman, whatever she is, I'll have evidence of that. You're ready to make her and her ancestors the Jersey Devil people have been talking about all this time – I don't know about that. But right now? She might as well be.”

There's a truck parked by the side of the road and we pull in behind it and get out. Scully leads me to the cab and climbs in, and I climb in afterward. Boulay is at the wheel and Diamond in the passenger seat, although I don't know how we managed to work that out.

“I think I have an idea of where she's headed,” Boulay tells me, and pulls down a “road” to our right. It's little more than a gap between trees. “There's a spot where she could really easily be hiding out.”

He stops at the bottom of the road. I can hear dogs in the distance, and I can see what he means. “I know these woods, if she's going for cover, she'll be down by the rocks,” he adds.

We begin climbing down, looking around, when Boulay speaks. “Look.” She is there, up above us, not where she could easily fall.

Now's as good a time as any. “Can you reach her from here?”

“I can try.”

He fires, and the dart hits her, but she pulls it out before it can deliver it's full dose. She runs away, across a bridge over the river, and I follow. I can hear the others behind me. And then ahead of me I hear gunshots and it's all over. “I got it. Up ahead. I got it. She tried to take my arm off. Watch it right here.” We run that way, but it's too late. All over now. My chest hurts and I don't care. “Right there. Looks like she was trying to bury herself.” She is partially buried in leaves on the ground. I squat next to her. She would have been beautiful, I think, had she joined the rest of the human race. I close her eyes.

And then I turn to Thompson. “Why did you have to kill her?

“Same reason you kill a rabid animal.”

I really want to hit him, but Scully takes my arm and somehow I know it's okay to just... not. We walk back to the car, even though it's a good mile and my side is killing me, leaving Peter Boulay and Doctor Diamond to chew Thompson out. From the sounds eminating from the scene of the shooting, it sounds like they're doing fine.



I took a few hours to get checked out at the hospital before Scully drove me home, and then we have to file a case report to Blevins. It's not really easy, because it takes a week to get the autopsy results, which Glenna finally has to Xerox and take to the post office herself.

It seems they keep getting “lost”.

When they arrive, I carefully sort the photos and put them in my cabinet with the rest of the Jersey Devil file. I guess that's over and closed.



Scully comes in and sits across from me, and then passes me a file she's carrying. “Hi, this just came through, it's the posthumous medical exam on the woman's body. They found fragments of human bones still in her digestive tract, they estimated her age to be twenty-five to thirty years. Now they allowed Dr. Diamond to do a medical exam of the body but he found nothing that suggested prehistoric bone structure or physiology. Now the ACPD has her listed as a Jane Doe, and a search for her identity in state psychiatric records has begun, in earnest.”

She won't be there. “Good luck.”

“They have also released the medical exam from the male body that they found, his age is estimated to be about forty years.”

I get it now. “There would have been offspring.” Case not closed.

“The medical exam of the women's uterus does seem to indicate that she may have given birth.”

“She was just protecting her children Scully, it all makes sense.” The last piece has fallen into place. “The male dies and she comes out of the woods in search of food.” I get up and get my coat, I need to go see that guy at the Smithsonian.

“Mulder will you do me a favour, will you just go out and have a beer, will you take the day off. I'll cover for you, will you just, take some time for yourself.”

“Thanks for the offer but I've got an appointment at the Smithsonian with...” The phone rings and I head to pick it up “...an ethno-biologist, I can't wait to tell him about this.” I finally get to the phone. “Mulder.”

“Hello? Is Dana available?”

It's her date. “Just a second.” Sigh. I turn to Scully. “It's for you.” I leave her to reclaim her social life and head up to get the car. Maybe she doesn't have to go to all the stuff?

I make it as far as Fran's desk when Scully reaches me. “Who was that on the phone?” As if I don't know.

“A guy.”

Huh. “A guy. Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the other night?”

“Same guy.”

Do I have to get out the torture devices? “You gonna have dinner with him again?”

“I don't think so.”

“No interest?” I hand Fran her form.

“Not at this time.”

Fran hands me my keys. “Thanks Fran.” Not at this time, huh? What does that mean? She follows me to the door. “What are you doing?”

“I'm going with you to the Smithsonian.”

She should go have dinner and I know it. “Don't you have a life Scully?”

“Keep that up Mulder and I'll hurt you like that beast-woman.”

She pauses with her hand on the door handle, and something inside me compels me to say, “Eight million years out of Africa-”

“Look who's holding the door,” she finishes, and we leave for the Smithsonian.


Sunday, July 20, 2008

Spolier-free Dark Knight review.

Dude.

Dude dude dude.

Boom!

Gaah!

*Gasp!*

*Sob!*

Gulp

Heh.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ahhhh....

How many more years 'till the next one?!?!?!?!!?

Friday, July 18, 2008

It occurs to me... (Spoliers)

So if Nero (the Villain) is a Romulan, then they can't see him or it will make "Balance of Terror" impossible.

Just some food for thought.