Saturday, September 1, 2007

If you want to know how to bite off more than you can chew...

Star Trek: Voyager: The 37s
They randomly find a trail of rust in space and follow it to a still-functioning farm pickup full of what Janeway recognizes as horse manure. I guess she would recognize it, wouldn't she? She dishes it out all the time. Plus, she eats Neelix's cooking. Anyway, Tom causes a mild panic by turning the truck on, which is funny, but... hasn't it spent the last four hundred years floating in space? So, the gas should be gone, right?

I feel a headache coming on.

Anyway, they pick up a radio signal on the truck's radio that they weren't even paying attention to because it was radio not subspace radio. Things sure have changed since "The Cage", when we could see radio waves... Okay, I'm just gonna leave that alone. So they follow it to this planet, where they find this plane. Despite being on a relatively earth-like planet, the plane has NOT rusted - but the truck in total vacuum did. Sigh.

Chakotay, in his one contribution to the show, finds the radio signal and shuts it off. This is important, because someone is watching him. Spooky music. Someone helmeted a la Darth Vader.

Janeway, meanwhile, who goes on away missions (unlike Picard) finds eight people buried in an underground vault - including the stasised Amelia Earhart. Um.

They figure out how to wake them up, and do so. Sadly, Amelia Earhart's navigator is a jerk, and he decides to hold everyone hostage. Janeway sucks up to Amelia Earhart, who can't possibly be that dumb that she doesn't realize that she's being sucked up to, and they end up leaving the cave and walking right into Chakotay being pinned down by enemy fire. Janeway circles around and stuns a Masked Man only to find out that they are - gasp - human! They're surprised to find Janeway is human too.

Ummm... couldn't they see the Voyager crew's faces? Since they're, you know not wearing masks? Anyway, the other humans are angry because Janeway went in their sacred vault thing and turned off their sacred radio signal in the Plane that Didn't Rust. Damn you, Janeway. Janeway explains that they revived the people in the sacred vault, which none of the people on the planet bothered to do, and btw, that plane should be a pile of ferrous oxide. The man offers to take them on a tour of their fabulous cities.

Those cities must be fantabulous because Janeway and Chakotay are very impressed, but we never see them. Instead, the Masked Men offer to let the crew stay on the planet with them. Janeway tells anyone who wants to stay to be in the cargo bay at a certain time. We experience a certain suspense as people debate the issue, but no one stays. Janeway looks touched. They take off and leave the 37s to hang out with their descendants.

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