This is me NOT playing The Voyager Game

Voyager: Lineage

Have you ever noticed that Tom and B'Elanna are very much in love? It really is sweet. Been going on since Season 1, "Faces". Anyway, she keels over in Engineering, Icheb grabs a tricorder, and informs her she has a parasite.

Not a parasite. She's pregnant. Good grief.

I actually remember this. If I recall, she tried to make the Doctor perform genetic modification on her unborn daughter.

Anyway, I guess Klingon/Human pregnancies sometimes clash, resulting in fainting. So how come humans faint when they're pregnant? Maybe Doc means Klingons don't usually faint? Oh, who cares, at least they're making up new rules, not contradicting old ones.

Then Tom says the odds agains Human/Klingon conception are high, and now I've gotta say something. B'Elanna is a Human/Klingon conception. And how about K'Eyhlar? I'm pretty sure Alexander wasn't exactly a test tube baby either. Now we're making up new rules.

Anyway, they're happy, which is good. Not telling anyone, which is good. Replicating a crib, re-arranging the living area, looking up holodeck child-rearing programs (and apparently forgetting the events of "Real Life" which is probably for the best), lots of smiling. Until Tom goes into the mess hall and is met by cheering. Seems Icheb spilled the beans. Neelix wants to be the godfather.

Janeway and Chakotay come to congratulate B'Elanna, Harry rubs it in Tom's face that he's definitely off anything resembling bachelor duty, then runs away.

Tom goes into a Jeffries Tube with Tuvok and starts talking about the baby only to find out Tuvok was totally clueless. He asks for advice from the only dad onboard. Apparently Tom's scared shitless. Tuvok points out that offspring are "disturbingly illogical" and he should "anticipate paradox".

Tom and B'Elanna compare ridiculousness that evening. Comparing who wants to be godfather, who has names picked out, who has parenting advice....folk wisdom from Chell that makes me wish there were warp cores on Earth. B'Elanna's all rattled and over-emotional and then she calms down and then the Doctor calls.

The baby has her mother's deviated spine. Doc lets slip that it's a girl. He can give the baby a genetic modification to fix it, and they get to see what she'll look like. Cute kid. B'Elanna's disappointed that she'll look Klingon. She remembers her father, who, if you'll recall, left her. Ouch.

Anyway, we have a flashback to a camping trip B'Elanna took with her dad and her uncle and cousins.

The next morning she goes in to have the spine thingy and has more flashbacks. Her cousins are mean to her and she runs off. She wakes up when the procedure is over and goes to the holodeck to see her kid at twelve, and then deletes the Klingon genes to make her not look like that. Good times.

Doc won't do it though. She fights him about it, and he reviews her work and tells her to talk to Tom, who is firmly against it. They fight, and B'Elanna drags them to Janeway and they all argue about it, until Janeway says she won't order the Doctor to do it.

B'Elanna won't talk to Tom, who ends up crashing on Harry's couch. He and Harry talk the whole thing out and B'Elanna goes back to her flashbacks. She returned to camp and everyone apologized snd it was all good on the surface, but her father tried to talk to her and she said she wished he wasn't Klingon. She ends up reading through her uncle's fish story.

And sleeping alone.

Anyway, that night her father and uncle were talking about how hard it is to live with Klingons. Her dad talks like he hates his marriage and being a dad.

Chakotay takes B'Elanna to coffee and then ducks out when they run into Tom. They try to agree to disagree, and the Doc calls them. He reviewed the data and decided they need the genetic alterations. The baby is in danger unless they eliminate the Klingon genetic material. It's scheduled for tomorrow morning.

Tom goes to Icheb for help with the genetics. Turns out there's an error. Someone rewrote Doc, and B'Elanna's in sickbay. Terrif.

Tom runs to Sickbay with Tuvok and they force the door. It's all very emotional and possibly one of the best scenes of Season 7. Have I mentioned I love Tom/B'Elanna? Anyway, she's got issues, thinks Tom's gonna leave her and the baby.

Sappiness ensues.

And B'Elanna comes to apologize to the Doctor and ask him to be the godfather. And the baby kicks for the first time. Did I mention that Klingons have a 30-week gestation, could be shorter in this case, and seven of them are gone by already, so kicking is actually feasible in this case?

Okay, so I love love love love looooove that this ep is not stolen from any Star Trek that I can immediately identify. Maybe an episode of The O.C., but not Star Trek. Kids rock.