To the Life

Deep Space 9: To the Death

We do learn something about the Jem'Hadar, and we meet Weyoun for the first time. We get to see the Jem'Hadar as soldiers, and since we will spend the next 3 years seeing them as cannon fodder, it is welcome. We learn to hate Weyoun, and we have some fun with TNG continuity.

But we never do see them rebuild the docking pylon.

Relatives

Voyager: Relativity

So, it's time for more temporal mechanics, Voyager style.

Actually, I think it's Back to the Future. Only with more stuff. I like stuff, don't get me wrong. But... time travel in Voyager is... actually not that much more than anyone else, but it seems like a lot. Maybe because there's more time travel two-parters, or maybe because the eps just tend to be kind of stupid but either way, it seems like I've had enough of it.

But it's not that bad. We should remember that.

Percentage-wise, TAS was the worst. an impressive 9% of the 22 eps were time travel. That's 2.

Just thought I'd mention that.

Who Mourns for Crabby Hologram Designers?

Voyager: Lifeline

Here's the thing. I like Barclay.

I like Troi.

But they're on TNG. And this is Voyager. And they don't belong here. And you know what else doesn't fit?

In Act Three, Janeway gets a transmission about the "status of the Maquis." You could do an entire episode about the "status of the Maquis" but here it's shuttered to the background of an episode, and look at that, there's Brannon Braga taking partial credit for the teleplay.

He's lost the mission, bro.

Suspicious activity

TNG: Suspicions
Beverly Crusher is not having a good day.

In fact, she's about to have her best episode ever. She just doesn't know it yet. Usually she has some pathtic romance (Doctor Beverly, anyone?) But this time, oh, this time, she decided to dabble in physics and there isn't a long-haired lover in sight.

Tangent over.

There is, however, a problem, which is that a lot of people don't like Crusher, and Star Trek was not up to story arcs at that point. This is, of course, the pre-Coto years. There were practically no story arcs, everything was self-contained. Which means, since no one said boo about Gates leaving the show, we were not going to see a trial and everyone knew it.

Anyway, she tells Guinan she's no longer the CMO on the ship, begging a huge WTF from everyone who likes Crusher. Guinan starts complaining of tennis elbow.

Credits.

Beverly says she was trying to get some scientists, any scientists, to give some credit to the theories of a Ferengi scientist named Rega.

The scientists, however, are argumentative. So it is decided that Rega will not test his invention, which will allow a ship to survive in the corona of a star. Instead, another scientist, a Tarkalean named Jo'Brill, will fly the shuttle to test the device. The test goes pretty well... until Jo'Brill collapses. They get him back to sickbay long enough for him to gasp out, "I saw... the sun..." before he dies.

Commercial.

He's dead for no reason. Beverly performs an autopsy and there's literally no reason why he's dead. The only weird thing of note is that his cellular decay is really slow but his innards are so messed up that Beverly doesn't even worry about it.

Neither Data, no Geordi, nor Rega can find anything wrong with the shuttle either. And Beverly has to end the test of the shield... which is not what Rega wants. But that, as she tells Guinan, is the last time she saw Rega alive.

Commercial.

They detect a plasma surge on the ship, in the science lab, and when they investigate they find Rega, dead, clutching a plasma tool of some kind. Worf is convinced it's suicide. Beverly is not so convinced... but Picard tells her there will be no autopsy, it is against Ferengi custom.

But she's sure the scientists did it - or at least one of them. So she interviews Drs. T'Pan and Christopher, and then Kurak. None of them is very flattered, although Christopher says Kurak and Rega were arguing in the lab earlier before he died, and when Beverly questions her about that she gets thrown across the room for her trouble.

So Beverly does the only thing she has left to do. She autopsies Rega. She then goes to Picard and tells him so. Picard is, quite understandably, furious. He is very very sad, and he wants to protect Beverly as much as he can, but she tells him not to. So she goes back to her quarters and that's when the episode starts.

Guinan tells Beverly to go do something about it. In the immortal words of Jonathan Frakes, "What are they gonna do, fire me?"

Commercial.

During the flight, the shield may have been sabotaged. It's tough to tell. Beverly now knows to look for tetryon traces in Jo'Brill's body. On her way to Sickbay, Will stops by to tell her to stop looking, but she just can't and tells him to butt out. Instead of butting out she goes to her office and tries to access medical records. She can't do that, though, because she's not actually on the medical staff. So Alyssa comes in and helps her. Beverly tries to order her not to, but... "Too bad you're not my boss anymore."

Anyway, they recheck Jo'Brill, and there are tetryons, so maybe... but in the end, there's only one way to know. Someone is going to have to get in the shuttle, fly it to the star, and see if they die or not.

So Beverly does.

Commercial.

She flies into the sun and survives, but communications drop. Then Jo'Brill climbs out of a locker and attacks Beverly. She gets to be Action!Bev for a change and kill the dude by disintegration. As far as I recall, she used a phaser about 3 times. This was one.

Anyway, of course, that means only one thing.

She's cleared!

And then there's a problem.

Because Guinan doesn't play tennis.

So.

It's not Trek.

There's no police action, no guest character solving their own problem, no recreation of Earth's past, no alien aliens. I mean, sure, there's a dude you can shoot a hole through, and Beverly solves her own problem but I'm pretty sure I took that far enough with expanding #2 to recurring guest characters - Roddenberry specified that you never see the character again, and we see Bev all the damn time. I'm putting enough in just letting them use Barclay or Naomi Wildman or Zek or Brunt or Ishka or Morn.

Conspiracy of Silence

TNG "Conspiracy"
Ocean world of Pacifica? Really? How creative. Geordi is trying to tell Data a joke, which he overanalyzes and fails to laugh at. Also, the first and only use of the word hyperspace in Trek happens now. Data also is dumb with metaphors and we learn Worf doesn't bathe.

For some reason, Picard is asleep during all this. When I was little I thought they didn't get to sleep at all because they were always all on the bridge when stuff happened. A code 47 (nice continuity from TOS if you're looking) communication comes in and they have to wake the poor man up. Its his old friend Walker who wants him to come to Dytallix B, now, very secret.

Credits. Denise crosby is still there.

Picard orders them to Dytallix B and radio silence and no logs or anything recorded about it whatsoever. Warpies!

And I bet you wanna know what Dytallix B is! Data determines that Dytallix B is utterly useless, to quote, "a lifeless hunk of rock, a useless ball of mud, a useless chunk of..."

There are 3 ships in orbit - one is Walker's ship. Picard beams down and meets Walker and the Captains of the other two, Captains Rixx and Scott. Rixx and Scott promptly point phasers at him while Walker conducts a memory test. Where did we first meet? Who introduced Jack and Beverly Crusher, how many sisters does Walker have? Rixx says 'their' weakness is a lack of memory. As a side note, turns out Tryla Scott actually beat Kirks record for youngest captain.

Anyway, strange things are going on with starfleet, people are dying, interfleet communications are wonky, they think the Enterprise will be targeted, they don't know for what exactly, but old friends are forgetting things, some of Walkers officers are acting weird since they stopped at Earth, and so on. But its all vague, and they don't have any evidence. Picard takes their warning and leaves.

Commercial.

Picard tells Deanna, of course. He believes something is wrong, but there is no evidence. They go back on course for the poorly named Pacifica.

Data gets assigned to find out if anything hinky is actually going on by analyzing everything that anyone in Starfleet did for the last six months.

While they're flying along, they notice something odd nearby and stop to have a look. It is debris. No bodies, just debris. It matches the size of the Horatio, but no identifying marks.

Commercial.

Picard believes it all now. He tells Riker, and he remembers Quinn warning him too, in "Coming of Age".

Data starts talking to himself, then explains that to the computer, which tells him off for overexplaining. He gives it a supicious look. As would I.

The point is, data has found that someone is moving officers to control key areas of space, possibly to prepare for invasion. Riker says, "are you suggestng we warp over to starflet headquarters and demand to know what's going on?" No one said that!

But that's exactly what they decide to do. They warp back to Earth. They pull into a parking space and no one answes their hails for a bit, then admirals Savar, Aaron, and our old buddy Quinn answer. They want to know why the ship skipped stopping at the sillily named Pacifica, then Remmick comes in and the Admirals hit the mute buton. Picard and crew are suspicious, but then the Admirals come back on and invite Picard and Riker to dinner. Quinn says he can't come to dinner, but he wants to see the ship, can he come onboard? What? What? How does that make sense? How? And Picard, he buys it, because he just lost his buddy and he's obviously not thinking straight. But seriously, I don't have time for dinner but I have time to see your ship? Either he's coming up with dumb excuses because he's the dumbest admiral ever, or he's trying to lull Picard into a false sense of security to get onboard. Either way, I guarantee you don't want him there.

Quinn, in fact, has a pink... thing in a box. He seems to hide it from Remmick, who beams him to the ship as dramtic music plays.

Commercial.

Picard asks Quinn about what he said on Relva 7 about a threat, but Quinn says he didn't mean it. Picard leaves Riker onboard with Quinn and tells him he is sure it isn't Quinn. Picard tells Riker to get Quinn examined and beams down alone and unarmed to headquarters, where Savar, Aaron, and Remmick greet him and say they fixed a special dinner for him. Picard also notices headquarters is unusually quiet.

Quinn shows Riker a "superior" form of life in a box. Riker tries to call Data when Quinn yells " it won't like your science offcer. It does like you!" And proceeds to throw Riker acros the room. Riker calls security before Quinn wipes the floor with him, supporting both dumb and evil theories about Quinn.

The admirals toast to the Horatio, and tell picard the ship imploded "due to the extreme negligence of her Captain".

Worf, and for some reason Geordi, come to Riker's rescue. Quinn tries to leave and when Geordi objects, Quinn throws him through the door. Now its just him and Worf.

Commercial.

Quinn proceeds to beat Worf to a pulp. Beverly then comes in and shoots him, then treats Riker. I think she can scan Quinn now.

Which she does - retinas first. Its really him. And he has a little spike on the back of his neck...

Picard continues to be threatened by admirals who wish they were as cool as Dukat but alas, no. They go to dinner and Picard calls Riker and gets Crusher, who tells him about the spike and that it is a parasite, also that Riker got used as a rag. She says phasers on kill, he says he doesn't have one. Remmick comes out to yell "come and get it before I throw it in the floor!"

Riker wakes up.

Picard goes to sit down to a meal of icky icky worms. Everyone else is eating. Poor actors. I wonder how many takes they had to do. Picard is leaving when Riker arrives and says "He'll be one of us soon". He has the spike. And then captain Scott shows up. Riker shoves Picard in a chair and tells him he'll understand soon. They gloat for a while, then Riker goes to get some worms and starts stunning people. Aaron runs, but he and Picard stun everyone else. These little pink bugs like the one Quinn had come out of their mouths. They chase Aaron and stun him and follow his bug wen it crawls out...

To Remmick.

Who swallows it.

Whole.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

His neck starts bulging. "You don't understand. We mean you no harm. We seek peaceful coexistence." He sounds very sarcastic, and looks it too with the case of tonsilitis he has going on.

They shoot him.

A creature rises up from inside him and roars.

They shoot that too.

All the creatures die, then, and people get bodies back.

But Remmick sent out a homing beacon.

This one... ah, this one.

This actually became the Borg. Imagine if they continued with this instead, kind of like if X-files hadn't ditched the Black Oil thing.

Or, also, imagine if Voyager had run into this. Could have done. Didn't.

Now that thought's gonna piss me off all week.

Solid Type 1, Type 3, Type 4. Just missing follow-through, which was in dangerously short supply before Ron Moore anyway.

Because Kirk was Soooooooo worried about PR!

Back to my interupted survey of Gold Key's original Star Trek comics from 1968, we have the absolute gem, "Day of the Inquisitors."

...

No, really.

So, teasers aside, we open with a captain's log. Before I can even find out what Kirk's on about now, there is something to be dealt with.

The Public Relations officer.

...

When, exactly, between killing his best friend, teaching psychotic children not to beat their wives, driving Greek gods to suicide, killing Jack the Ripper, and other assorted insanity did the man care about PR? Or the media, or the reaction of Earth, or the reaction of his boss? In fact, now that I think of it, Enterprise has way too much of that, particularly at the beginning. I've never really focused on that and now it'll drive me crazy for the next six months.

I haven't finished the first sentence yet. This does not bode well.

So they do manage to make things happen, like the word Federation and the concept of joining said Federaton, but there is no concept of the council, it's just, ooh, first contact, come join the party! At least it's effort. Most of those rules were implied in the 60s, anyway. Now, if it was Picard's Enterprise, we would have a huge problem.

But it's not.

The real trouble starts when they get to the city looking for supplies. Instead of anything sane, the conclusion is that the best thing to do is, in fact, knock out the guards to get in, as far as I can tell, because they're there and Kirk likes to hit things. Even Spock joins in the smackaroo for some reason I'm not too clear on.

Kill kill kill.

And that leads, for some reason I'm not super clear on, to this-

Kirk: Someday, Spock, you'll underestimate an enemy... and you won't live to regret it!

Spock: Impossible, Captain! Regret is an emotion, and I have no emotions.

Excuse me?

YES YOU DO, THEY SAID SO IN, JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD:

"The Naked Time"
"Amok Time"
"This Side of Paradise" a.k.a "The Way of the Spores" which is a very Doctor Who like title.
"Star Trek: The Motion Picture" a.k.a "In Thy Image" in which Spock laughs, screams, and cries.
"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" in which he has a touching death scene.
Actually, the last two weren't written yet, scratch them. Oh! "The Immunity Syndrome"! See?

So they get into the city and promptly decide to beat up more people, because, as Fakeway said in "Living Witness", "it's the Starfleet way..."

SIGH.

But you know, that's not even my real problem. See, Spock didn't pick that fight. It was Kirk. Silly Kirk. Silly, silly Kirk who lets the monk looking dudes he was soooo eager to beat to a pulp run away while he rescues their prisoner. So let me get this straight. We crash, knock out the city guard instead of asking for supplies, sneak into said city, find some monk looking dudes with a prisoner, free the prisoner from the clutches of what is presumably the legal planetary government, and then let the monk dudes get away?

Yeah.

Yeah.

For super real.

How effing dumb can you get?

The tale that follows tells us, though, that the monks - inquisitors, really - are very very bad. Plus, they dress like the KKK.

So, anyway, back on the Enterprise, Uhura is wearing forest green and no one is worried that flames appear to be shooting out both the nacelles and shuttlebay. This may have to do with the "planetary disaster in sector sigma". That they have to go fix right now. Scotty refuses. We don't know what this disaster is. Two planets could be colliding.

Or, the King's cat could be up a tree.

We. Dont . Know. And he doesn't bother to check, just assumes that whatever it is, Kirk is more important.

To Be Continued because I think my brain is bleeding.

Poke a Sleeping Cardassian in the Eye

"Explorers" is one of those eps that make me wonder what on Earth is the problem with DS9. What on Earth? What's not to love, as a TV show? It's funny. It's got great characters and character-driven stories. It's got families and religion and twisty turny plots with friends who become enemies and enemies who become friends. It was drawn on heavily by John Logan in Nemesis as the source for most of the data about Romulan society since the TOS episode "Balance of Terror"... So what is everyone's problem?

How the Mighty have Fallen

I really do like "Fallen Hero," like, a lot. Really really. But.

At the beginning, T'Pol flat out says that Starfleet doesn't allow captains to sleep with their subordinates. I know Janeway felt bound by a similar rule.

But Kirk seems to drag women back to his den a lot.

And I had literally just said, "wow, they are so much better at this"

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.0

okay for real this time

Just wow again.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

uhhhhhh.........

Wow. Just wow.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

Uh....

Check out this screen from TOS06.cbz sent from Droid Comic Viewer http://bit.ly/3dlKI5

What, pray tell, is an 'impulsion'?

Regenerating the unfixible

So, we're supposed to believe that the Vulcans lost the Borg? As in forgot? When someone alive on Vulcan in 2153 would be alive in 2371, possibly? Yeah, I'm supposed to buy that the Vulcans forgot.

And then, we're supposed to be suckered in by the idea that Phlox could cure assimilation? While being assimilated? Because it was so slow there was time to do that?

For all that though, I'm most angered by Enterprise's habit of stealing firsts from TNG. Not cool. Don't steal from Picard, he doesn't deserve it.

What now?

Will The Waiting Game For J.J. Abrams Cause 'Star Trek 2' To Move From Summer ... - Indie Wire (blog)

They're right.

They really are.

The question: would it be so bad?

Let us review: Star Trek was originally set for summer of 2008. Late summer. Then Christmas of 2008. Then finally May 2009.

And what a May 2009.

It kept us talking. And now we're talking again. What other news would there be of the movie now?

Its in pre prduction. This is publicity. And its working. Which is good.

The thing is, he deserves it

Sun News : Shatner beams at gala

Hey, what's up, isntShatner something of a joke? RocketMan?

But more than that, he has done many things and he has made a name fo himself and he has no talent, just none at all. It's all ego and persistence. I mean, wow. Give the man a medal!

Oh, wait.

They did.

Its a little close to home

TrekToday » Blog Archive » Pine As Mud?

Any relation to Harry Mudd?

Look what the shutle crew did!

http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/110515_tch_sts-134-trek.standard.jpg

You know you're a geek when

Star Trek night has to be scheduled around Doctor Who.

Who thinks these are good ideas?

Hollywood, that's who.

Who exactly decided putting NATALIE PORTMAN in the Thor movie was a good idea? Why not just cast Jeri Ryan in the next Trek movie?

And I'm pretty sure there was a Trek joke after the diner scene. Little one.

Also, Andy was very much looking forward to a very special gauntlet and it was nowhere to be found. I think he may have cried a bit and I do hate to see him sad.

So now it's 2am and I just saw Renee Russo in something for the first time since Lethal Weapon 4, which is the best I've done all day.

Star Trek Sucks

1. It's his middle name. His first name was Jackson. Look it up.
2-6. Kirk is an idiot. Picard has a ship full of kids. Do you have any idea how easy it is to maintain security on a space station with thousands of people? And then there was Voyager and Enterprise. The less said the better.
7-9. What's wrong with having the shows reflect the times they were made in? And why aren't we counting Voyager and Enterprise as a sign of their times?
10. Yeah, well, it was a good unitard.
11-12. Sulu is the Asian who liked swords. Chekov is the one that's made to look like he was in the Monkees.
13. Yes, well, I know. Why was Spock in the Toilet? So juvenile.
14. Bite me. It's cutting-edge fake science.
15. People who like languages?
16. God, I hope not, because I'd have to kill them.
17. That scenario never happened. And did you see Nemesis? They finally found a use for her before they shipped her off to the Titan.
18. He had a chin in Season 1!
19. Because they left that for Doctor Who.
20. On the contrary, Kirk battles a weight problem sporadically throughout the Original Series. And, well, not to put too fine a point on it, but look at Shatner in Undiscovered Country.
21. The Picard Maneuver! Make a dirty joke out of that, why don't you, lamebrains!
22. OMFG, how tired are all the Motion Picture jokes? It was 1979, just let it go already. There was never any saving it.
23. And another called Kesprit. If you squint, it says Armpit. Grow up.
24. It didn't work. See response to #20.
25-26. Comic relief.
27. What on Terra does that even mean?
28. In one episode.
29. And there was a ship in Classic Trek called the Fesarius. Deal.
30. This has nothing to do with Trek, but... Denny Crane.
31. Not true! What about Picard, reading Shakespeare all the time. Kirk read A Tale of Two Cities in TWOK. And then there were Janeway's holonovels... the less said about that the better.
32. But Tasha and Worf got a whole big console to do things with while Troi had... nothing!
33. How is that any worse than G.I. Joe?
34. He's Jimmy Doohan. That should be enough for you.
35. Is awesome.
36. So?
37. But when it works? Pure awesomeness. Plus, Scotty stored his atoms in one, which meant we got to see Jimmy Doohan again.
38. Fluffy! My nephew and I played catch with one today.
39. Let's start with hair and move on to chin later, huh?
40. Granted. For the first year, then he got cool.
41. Not really. Raise your hand if you predicted Tasha, Jadzia, or Data (in the absence of spoilers)
42. Yeah they are. And the Cybermen were barely a twinkle in America's eye, so do not give me that. Acutally the Borg came from the TNG ep "Conspiracy" and made a rather... significant departure from that story, one that is never fleshed out.
43. There were in your much-maligned Motion Picture. Just saying.
44. But don't you just want one?
45. Now we discuss the hair? Okay, fine, let's talk about the hair. Or better yet, let's skip the hair and move into the stupid things she did. At least she had the sense to cut the hair to keep it from falling in her face when she was almost getting blowed up.
46. It was fun. You seem to have learned snark. Where did you learn that? Trek.
47. I resemble that remark!
48. It's not 'Trekker', it's 'Trekkie'. Just shut up.
49. Bill Shatner can't even do that. Plenty of people can't. Some of us are blessed.
50-51. Riker/Troi - a lesson for the nerdiest of nerds that anything is possible given enough time.
52. See #23.
53. And I still say in Generations they should have done it once more for old time's sake. That would have kicked #20.
54-65. DS9 Season 6, Ep 22. "Valiant" Teaser: Humorous interlude in bar. Act One: Explanatory Scene. Act Two through Five: various battles, no "proton" torpedoes. All other segments missing.
For example.
66. See the breakfast scene in DS9 Season 4, Ep 22, "For the Cause". Bajoran Bread and Klingon Coffee.
67. Granted.
68. Neelix - much needed comic relief and consistency in an uncertain and otherwise usually humorless show.
69. I count two that survive.
70. Name one. The only one that comes to mind is Riker's mom. There was no crying, no mind-meld, and no scabies involved.
71. Dealt with in the novelization of Star Trek 3. And by the way, I cry every time.
72. DO NOT INSULT MAJEL BARRETT OR CAREL STRUYCKEN.
73. DO NOT INSULT RICHARD HERD, THE PEOPLE WHO PLAYED PICARD'S FAMILY, OR PRETTY MUCH ANYONE WHO IS IN THE FAMILY. IT PUTS THE FUN IN DISFUNCTION.
74-76. Tom/B'Elanna. Worf/Deanna. Worf/Jadzia. Chapel/Spock. Trip/T'Pol. That's all five major series. TAS was pretty ship-free.
77. Don't forget Odo, and what they tried to do with Seven.
78. When? Name 2.
79. When? Name 2.
80-86. How would we live without Shatner's "Rocket Man"?
87-88. Learn to spell Maneuver.
89. TNG Season 7 "Inheritance". For example. I could have even gotten really mean and cited "Menage a Troi", but...
90. Yeah, because you never learned Klingon, which, by the way, is fascinating.
91. Yeah, but she was there. And it was a start. Also the first interracial kiss on TV, which is, you know, pretty cool.
92. Tell me about it.
93. Klingon cloaking devices. Another excuse for awesome.
94. He was a starving college student and the show hadn't yet found it's own. The Prime Directive was invented after the fact and is an accepted part of the canon.
95-97. Let's not stop there. Why are we not discussing Seven of Nine?
98-100. One at a time: People were watching. People were not watching at 10 on a Friday. They didn't run out of ideas: Season 3's writers didn't have any ideas because they were a totally different production team. And if it was rubbish, why did it win all those awards?