The Voyager Game I

What episode did we rip off this week?

Answer: The Paradise Syndrome

Yep, we're ripping off lousy Season 3 of TOS. An all-time low, and it's only the second season!

Voyager Episode: Tattoo


And as an added bonus, the Doctor gets a cold.

Patrick Stewart's massive amount of interviews and such about Macbeth - wow, could this title get any longer? I bet it could!

http://wcbstv.com/video/?id=112684@wcbs.dayport.com

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/118094.html




And just in case you care, he's gonna be in Hamlet with David Tennant! Geekalicious!

For Wesley Haters One and All (And Wil Fans too)

you know how sometimes you just don't get peoples' senses of humor?

This is one of those times.

Anyway...



They're trying to make the YouTube most viewed. So view!

Okay, that was a space alien.

So I just spoiled the end of Indy 4. So sue me. My blog, my rules.

Okay, pros.

They never even tried to pretend that Harrison Ford was young.

The fight scenes were waaaay more convincing than Firewall.

Shia LaBuff (or however you spell that) was pretty damn good.

Harrison Ford can still act - without breaking a hip swinging from a rope.

Fake rear screen projection. I love Steven Spielberg. A lot.

Original Paramount Logo.

Great classic Indy-looking moving rocks and such.

Marion.


Cons.

Dude, Space aliens, flying saucers, and what was up with the psycho non-Nazi chick?

And speaking of which, was I not promised Nazis?

The box they kept the Lost Ark in was not scorched.

You cannot survive nuclear blasts by climbing in a fridge.

Why do you need a countdown loudspeaker in a city full of dummies?

The warehouse in Area 51 looked totally different in Raiders.

Marion has forgotten how to act in the last 30 years or whatever long it's been.


In the end? Thumbs up.

Converting people to the light

I just convinced my coworker who has never seen Trek to watch Star Trek 4 because Catherine Hicks is in it. Good times.

What's wrong with Jasmine

Why do I hate the fourth season of Angel so much?

Probably several reasons.

I came to Angel fairly late in the game, in what I think may have been a massive conspiracy among my friends not to let me get addicted to yet another show (probably a good plan), so they never talked about it in front of me. I caught the last season of both Buffy and Angel and got hooked from those - honestly, not the finest moments of either show.

I like Season 3 of Angel the best.

Anyway, why is it that I dread watching Season 4? This time through, I'm watching less in chunks than normal, so I'm seeing it more spaced out (like, one or two a day instead of eight). It's better this way - but I don't like it.

I think the problem lies in the villain. Something about me sees her point - she's saving a lot more people than she's killing. Lots more. And that scares me more than anything. Of course, like Janeway, I don't want to let numbers solve this. She's eliminating free will in the name of universal peace. Not cool.

Also, the fact that Joss essentially pulled the Jasmine plot out of thin air because Charisma Carpenter was pregnant sucks. He should have just ignored it and gone with Plan A. Would have been better.

You know those things you put off?

Turns out they're not worth it, I've decided.

Like Braveheart. I'm bored.

Don't know why I never saw it before. Wanted to at the time. My ex made me rent it once and then wouldn't let me finish watching it. It's dumb. I don't like it. And boring. And the kind of movie I hate that has everything I despise about movies in it.

Also, Mel Gibson is rubbing me the wrong way.

I hate that man.

Too bad, because I actually saw the spot where they executed William Wallace when I was in London, which might be the problem - I know what happens. Been there.

I've been thinking about JJ Abrams...

And Time.

We start... with Forever Young. Written by JJ ages and ages ago when the Earth was young... or at least before my tenth birthday. Mel Gibson was still cool and we didn't see Frodo when we looked at Elijah Wood. Those were the days. Anyway, the thing that really calls out to me here is the use of time as both an enemy and a friend, and how much time works for the people in the movie. It's undeveoped, but even though I was seven years old when this movie came out, I still remembered it fifteen years later. That counts for something, right?

Moving on, we see Alias. And the answer to the question: what do you do when you screw the show up? Most producers move on. JJ jumps two years into the future. Didn't work of course, but A for effort. I think maybe the having Vaughn's wife be evil was what lost you the gig dude.

And then there was Lost, and now he's really got it going on, because... okay, remember in The X-Files season 7, when Scully got pregnant? Remember when she gave birth one year later? Obviously not one year in the show, but one year of our lives? Remember how annoying that was? Lost is like the opposite of that. The polar opposite. In four years, the characters have lived for less than one.

That's freaking awesome.

Anyone else feeling pretty good about him doing a time-travel based Trek movie?

Pictures!

Because... Pictures!

That's right, we can now see inside a Star Trek (movie) shuttle. And for those of you who were worried about the look of things, that maybe it would be more reminiscent of Enterprise than TOS...

Don't be.

There's a bunch more where these two (my personal favorites) came from at AICN, including what may be a Starfleet uniform, possibly belonging to Spock (I don't remember the insignia ever looking like that before!)

It frees up a lot of my concern, because the console looks awesome. And very TOS-y.

Is this really it?

This picture may show JJ on the Bridge. Anyone?

Holy Spoilers!

Chris Pine just revealed by accident - I assume - a teensy tinsy little spoiler - he has scenes with Leonard Nimoy.

This is not big, earth shattering news, but they've been so careful not to let anything slide that anything at all is huge.

Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger died today.

I've loved his work for some time, ever since I really became aware of him in A Knight's Tale. So this tragedy runs especially deep for me.

Also, I'm pissed because someone told me he O.D'd in Mary Kate Olsen's apartment.

Mary Kate Olsen!

This is the kind of rumoring that just makes bad celebrity gossip worse.

Anyway, here's to Heath Ledger. I really wish he'd been on Star Trek once.

A Lesson Learned

When I started this blog, it was intended as a purely nerdy outlet. And while I still intend that, I'm hoping to expand a bit. I've been reading Just a Geek and it's made me realize how much better these things are when you add your real life to them. So that's my promise to myself and to whatever loyal readers I have, to include more of myself in these posts.

Which means: Rant Time!

The other day my computer stopped charging. Just stopped. And then my identity was stolen. I'm kind of curious, in a morbid sort of way, to see what's gonna happen today. I mean, what did I do anyway?

Stupid stupid stupid.

It's just so annoying, I mean I just submitted to Trekdom *crosses fingers* and now my computer's busted and I'm working off a crappy borrowed computer that I can't even type on with out L....A.....G......

It sucks.

I found where I could buy the replacement part I need online but I can't buy it because my new debit card won't arrive for 8-10 business days.

Arrrrrgh!

Invocation

The X-Files

There is no mention of Scully's pregnancy, but there's a little hint that Doggett has issues. Also we got to see him run, which is always a kick because it brings me back to when he was a Terminator and movies were decent.

Why do you call it that exactly?

I Am Legend

They said it sucked. They lied. While it's nowhere near perfect and the premise is from an era where you could write a book about a disease that turns people into vampires, it lacks several problems with previous incarnations. The vampires are NOT trying to take over the world this time, they just wanna eat. Robert Neville is played by someone hot, not someone with freakishly ginormous teeth, and there's a dog for you pet lovers out there.


Spoiler warning.

The dog dies. So does Will Smith.

Ultimately, it was way way better than The Omega man, which I had the misfortune of seeing six weeks ago.

And now I know why they call it that.

Cloverfield

So that's it, folks. I saw it.And let me tell you: I now trust J.J.

Despite what they said on AICN, I see something diferent. J.j. shows that he understands sacrifice, which means that he understands love. Which means thatt he understands e and mine, namely the Trekkies.

I am scared, of course, for Star Trek, as I should be, but more than that, I believe that this movie can succeed in being a new era. I saw the trailer. I saw the Enterprise - my Enterprise - being built. I heard Leonard Nimoy's voice. And I believe.

And I saw the movie. I saw what J.J. Abrams can do - could do - if he puts his mind to it. And then I believed again, that Star Trek has a future.

And Cloverfield is what brought me that future. And for that, I will always owe it.

More than that, I liked it. For all the formula plot, it spoke. And what it spoke of was the things that I have felt in my own life - loving someone so much that you're willing to give up everything, even your own life and future, to see that they don't die alone.

And then there's the fact that there are no answers to be found - just like life. It doesn't wrap up in a neat little package. Everyone dies, and no one learns the answers.

Now, please, don't ruin it by making a sequel.

I seem to have made a very disturbing discovery

Star Trek: The Animated Adventures

Star Trek V is a ripoff of an ep of The Animated Adventures called The Magicks of Megas-Tu.

An episode, which, btw, is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.

Murasaki 312

The Galileo Seven takes place in a "quasarlike" phenomenon called Murasaki 312. In the TNG episode "Data's Day", they are doing sensor observations of "the Murasaki quasar". That's continuity, folks.

Waiiiiting, little mammals!

How many of you remember "Prime Directive"?

Moving on.

Where is startrek.com? I'm waiting!

Why I hate Alias

I hate how complex situations are usually solved in one little ep. Vaughn's sick with the most evil disease imaginable! Oh, look, cured next week.

Crazy.

Minefield

Enterprise

In the early days of TOS, there was a great debate about salt shakers. Someone bought the most futuristic shakers they could find, only the one they used needed to be recognizable as a salt shaker. So the salt shakers became McCoy's medical instruments.

Today, watching Entersuck, I noticed Archer waving this little wand over his food. And then I realized, he's putting salt on it!

Now first of all, Archer likes a high sodium content on his eggs. Second, that thing is not remotely recognizable as a salt shaker.

Broken Bow

Enterprise

I know a lot of people won't be happy that I'm doing this.

Sadly, I don't care.

I want everyone to know, though, that it wasn't easy for me.

My history with Enterprise began on the day Enterprise began in 2001. I was excited, a little scared, and very very happy that Star Trek was continuing.

By the credits, I was in tears. I never watched an episode of the original run again.

I've seen it, of course, but not because I particularly wanted to. After it was over, I watched a few of the DVDs from Netflix. I sat through Connor and Dominic at the Vegas con, and I even watched the Anthony Montgomery segment (boring, FYI) but I never took the time to enjoy Enterprise.

I don't intend this entry to be a laundry list of complaints aimed at Brannon Braga's head, but I do want to rewatch Broken Bow and give Enterprise another chance - this time the whole show, with a lot of preconceptions and having read all the transcripts. I don't expect to be pleased, but I do expect to be more levelheaded than I was at eighteen.

Without further ado...

I think, at the time, we weren't ready to take a lot on faith. Production wise, it would have been better for the Klingon in the cornfield to be a TOS Klingon, and let the fans breathe a sigh of relief. I also think that introducing the Suliban at this stage was a very risky move, and the fans were not ready to accept risk like that after Voyager.

And the theme song was a mistake. First, the song part. And also the title of the show - no Star Trek. That was a mistake. Because while the fans have "faith of the heart", we also have the strength to walk away when we are displeased - unlike, apparently, Rick Berman.

So, yeah, the first four minutes were a disappointment. Even the opening lines, and the spacedock aren't enough to counteract what has been done by the first four minutes.

The depiction of the Vulcans is also very disappointing. They were supposed to FIX our problems, not help to cause them. And there are Klingon cultural inconsistencies that date back to the first season of TNG. That's more than a decade. The transporter looks better than Kirk's did - more futuristic. There's Brannon's little philosophy come to life.

And having Porthos around doesn't seem that great an idea. T'Pol's such a bitch that I can't imagine she came from the same planet as the same people who saved humanity in First Contact. Good movie.

They got James Cromwell to reprise Cochrane and coin the phrases that are known in the openings of TOS and TNG. That still doesn't make up for what seemed so frighteningly wrong with this show.

Again, I feel that including the Suliban this early in the game is a bad idea, because if it's not working (which it isn't), there won't be any more chances.

Which, for Brannon Braga and Rick Berman, there aren't, of course.

I keep trying to think if Spock or Tuvok ever ate with their hands. Not to mention Vorik or Sarek.

The controls look NOTHING like the ones on TOS. More like TNG with physical things to manipulate. URGH! Ugly and inconsistent. Also the fact that they are so different from TOS aliens is disturbing to me, because this is, you know PRE-TOS. It should be kinda like TOS, but with starting-up difficulties. Maybe some actual relationships instead of Archer just kissing every girl he meets. Instead? Decon rub-downs and sexual tension between just about everyone and T'Pol, despite the fact that she's a bitch. And no one has sexual tension with Hoshi because she can't do much more than scream.

I'm trying to see the good.

Really.

Now, what I would have liked to see was T'Pol going onto the Bridge and coming over to Archer's side. But they don't show that! Apparently the crew wanders around in BoxerBriefs, BTW. But the viewscreen is way more advanced than TOS's also.

But I love that they don't have shields yet. Or a tractor beam. Or phasers. These things are good. They make me happy. But the pre-tricorders should be a lot bigger - like a laptop. Hoshi's earpiece is too non-metallic - especially after Nog had the same thing Uhura used to use when the comn went out in DS9.

Since Klingons are so cold-sensitive, there is a big hole when they show Kronos to be such a cold-looking place. Of course, I never liked that whole "Klingons hate cold" bit anyway. And then the bit with the info-storing DNA.

Well, screw you too, Braga.

Dirty Girls

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

And then it all goes to hell, because Caleb is waaaay more annoying than Glory ever was.

The dream Xander has about the two girls that want to have a threesome with him is hilarious.

Faith and Willow are back from L.A. and find the girl - Shannon - who was stabbed by Caleb. Faith goes after Buffy to say hi, and finds Spike chasing some girl through a cemetery, so she steps in to help. Only Spike's not evil and the "girl" is a vamp. And then they meet Buffy and everything gets straightened out and Faith kills the vamp so everyone's happy.

They take Faith back to the house and show her off. Spike fills her in on the source of the tension.

Caleb hangs out with the First for a while. God, he's boring. He does reveal that he blew up the council.

Andrew briefs the girls on Faith - mistaking the vulcanologist for an acutal Vulcan.

Principal Wood fires Buffy to give her more time to prepare for the First.

Faith and Spike smoke together in the basement and figure out they've met before. She kinda hits on Spike. Anyway, the girl from the beginning wakes up and Buffy goes to talk to her.

The girl tells her story and they get a picture of the burn Caleb left on her neck. And then she gives the message "I have something of yours."

So Buffy decides to take the girls on a little outing.

Caleb and the First play kinky games. Really.

Buffy fights her friends about her plan, but in the end she leaves Giles and Willow behind to protect the girls who don't know what they're doing. She and Faith go find a Bringer to follow and Buffy admits that she's glad Faith is there. They talk about Angel.

Xander gives the girls a pep talk about how great Buffy is and off they go to fight Caleb. They end up in the basement of this Vineyard and then they run into Bringers - and Caleb. Xander's team comes in to help and lots of slashing later Molly's dead, Rona's hurt, and...

Xander's lost an eye.

Because he trusted Buffy. He trusted her with his life and his world. And now he should have died - but he didn't. He just lost an eye.

Satan is a little man.

-Caleb

Night

Star Trek: Voyager

Janeway finally figures out that her actions in "Caretaker" were not a good idea. Which, duh.

Perhaps you could teach a course at Starfleet Academy: Satan's Robot: An Historical Overview.

-The Doctor

Lies My Parents Told Me

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

Robin Wood is one twisted little educational administrator. All that time on the Hellmouth I guess.

This was one of the last few really good moments of Buffy, when they just kind of let loose and wrapped up loose ends. Giles betrays his role as a father, though, which makes me kind of shaky about him.

Everything's terrible! Total catastrophe! Have you seen the new library? There's not a book to be seen!

-Giles

Plato's Stepchildren

Star Trek

Um?

Um?

Well, we did have TV's first interracial kiss.

And that's about it.

Alexander, you talk too much.

- Philana
A precursor to "Shut up, Wesley!"

Storyteller

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

Buffy rocks, 'kay? Even though, you know, lately she hasn't. But then we have this ep, that reminds us of why she rocks, exactly. Andrew's amazing, and Buffy's amazing, and so is everyone else.

If you're running to catch the bus naked, that's a dream. Army of vicious vampire creatures, that's a vision. Also, I was awake.

A bus to where?

-Buffy and Principal Wood

Final MIssion

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Wesley's leaving? What! No! I can't live without Wesley!

Hey, I was seven.

Oh, I envy you, Wesley Crusher.

-Jean-Luc Picard

The Swarm

Star Trek: Voyager

This is the first Tom/B'Elanna scene where he shows any kind of interest. He's jealous because of "Freddy Bristow" (I'm counting the crew memebers, people) and asks her out. She turns him down. Still, it's a moment.

The Doctor also begins his sordid career as an opera singer here. The holodeck even programs him with a toupee.

It's like singing with a computer!

-The Doctor's holographic opera singing partner

Everybody Hates Hugo

Lost

So the food just gives everyone one night of happiness. Charlie finally gets some peanut butter for Claire, Kate gets a shower, Michael and crew find Bernard, and Sun buries the bottle of messages that washed up onshore in the forest.

The Chute

Star Trek: Voyager

And just when you thought all was lost, there was light.

Great acting, somewhat of the original mission of Star Trek - social commmentary - acheived, Star Trek returns from it's illness. It's not cured, and it's not permanent, but for that moment, we remember what it is we loved.

We can escape! If! We! Work! Together!

-Harry Kim (a la William Shatner)

Orientation

Lost

Well, they're good and orientated now. Sawyer, Michael, and Jin are prisoners of the Others. Locke convinces Jack to push the button labeled "Execute" without knowing what he's executing, and Desmond quietly runs away. Won't we ever get any answers?

Flashback

Star Trek: Voyager

Wherein canon is violated left right and center.

Wherein Sulu is used as a tool of the idiotic masses.

Wherein the end of good Star Trek is nigh.

And what do they call those blocks Tuvok's playing with? A Katheera? Why do they persist in making this crap up all the time?

Structure. Logic. Function. Control. A structure cannot stand without function. Logic is the essence of function. Function is the essence of control. I am in control. I am in control.

-Tuvok

Adrift

Lost

I really thought that was it for Michael and Jin and Sawyer, but nooooo. Turns out the Others also kidnapped Jin. I know they wanted Walt, but why on Earth would they want Jin? Walt's psychic. What's weird about Jin?

Yeah, something's odd here. You know what else is odd? Spending an entire episode rehashing the plot of the last episode.

Basics II

Star Trek: Voyager

We finally get to see the baby again. She's cooing. BTW what's her name? (I mean, I know what it is, but at this point she is nameless). Wouldn't it be good to give the kid a name? You know, like "Naomi"?

For the record, I thought this episode was lame in my twelves and thirteens. Now I KNOW it is.

The scene where they start the fire with the hair is pretty funny though. And Tom's pretty good. Wrapping up the Suder stuff - good idea.

And the revelation - Vulcan Institute of Defensive Arts? Vulcan Institute of Defensive Arts? Where they teach "archery science"?

It's amazing the entire crew didn't get redshirted. There's a fucking dragon in that cave. And why doesn't Janeway's hair fall out of it's ponytail? Samantha Wildman doesn't hold that baby like anyone who's ever held a baby would for long periods of time (your arms get tired).

Why did Suder have to bust into Engineering if the Doctor (trapped in Sickbay) was suppossed to be able to deactivate the phasers? That doesn't make sense. And what exactly killed Seska?

Urgh.

I'm a doctor, not a counterinsurgent!

-Doc

Man of Science, Man of Faith

Lost

Jack and Locke are gonna need to have it out one of these days.

What confuses me most is how can anyone possibly keep up with the plot twists? Answer: JJ Abrams. That concerns me, because eventually you run low on things to twist. Then what do you do? Answer: Your show flops.

So Jack's pep-talky "friend" that he met once is down the hatch. Good to know. And what's the brilliant light that occasionally shines out of it? And why write Quarantine on the INSIDE of the hatch? Huh? Huh?

A Matter of Time

A Matter of this. A Matter of that. A Matter of Time. A Matter of Honor. A Matter of Perspective. Are we sensing a pattern here?

This is one of those eps I remember very well from my childhood, mostly because of Picard's big moral dilemma. It scared me to see Picard lose confidence in himself. Even so, my focus was on Rasmussen, but unlike every other member of the audience, I really thought he must have a good reason to take that stuff - turns out he's just evil. Here's one kid who really took the lessons of Star Trek to heart I guess.

Other than that moral dilemma for one act, there's not a lot to this ep. The crew almost gets hoodwinked but manages to catch the guy at the last possible minute because he was too efficient a thief. Why do we even bother to let these people have jobs? Sometimes they are dumb.

We are being hailed, but... Captain, they are requesting you to move over.

Mr. Worf, inform them that the Enterprise will not be going anywhere.

Not the ship, sir - you.


-Worf and Picard (who is really dumb sometimes)

Generations

Alike, but DIFFERENT.

Darker doesn't mean you turn the lights down, you idiots! And where did they get all those people in Ten-Forward. And why can Data identify anger (in Descent) but not hatred? And why bother to kill Robert and Rene? And don't you wish it had been Spock and McCoy, not Scotty and Chekov? Too bad they wrote a sucky script that Nimoy wouldn't touch. And Data remembering a joke we certainly don't remember. Why not something we do remember? Huh? Huh?

Rick Berman, despite denial, knows why this movie sucks. They finished TNG while in pre-production for this movie with a huge, expensive finale. They were prepping Voyager. They were making DS9. Can you say "biting off more than you can chew" can you say "lesson learned in Star Trek: TMP?" I can. I know that lesson. That lesson is:

If you wait ten years to make a Star Trek movie after the show ends, no one cares how crappy it is. Also, you have time to make it, you know, better and stuff.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

-Data

And my concerns begin anew

Trek geek co-writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci have laced the script with multiple Trek references.

Yeah, I guess it was funny in First Contact. But we can't just expect them to not do a rehash of that nightmare from Voyager. You know what I mean. The constant "I'm a Doctor, not a ____"

Great. One, right around the time of De Kelley's death, is cool. Forty billion is not.

Anyway, trekmovie.com said it, and they're usually pretty accurate, and that scares me anew. Good job!

Piccys

There's some new shots of Quinto as Spock. On a website.

Written in French.

Hey, nobody's perfect.

The pics are here.

Caretaker

Unhappy with a new treaty,
Federation Colonistss along
the Cardassian border have
banded together.

Calling themselves "The Maquis,"
they continue to fight the
Cardassians.

Some consider them heroes,
but to the governments of
the Federation and Cardassia,
they are outlaws.


We didn't really see much of this, now did we. Did anyone expect this to have any bearing at all on the show? Or did they all know it was just. The. Teaser.

You know what would have been cooler? If Evek's ship would have come along for the ride. But nooooo. Too edgy. Don't want to follow the path of DS9. That would be wrong.

And thus began a series that went to so many wrong places...

Children have to grow up.

-Kathryn Janeway

Ben Cross

He doesn't look like Sarek. I don't think he can sell it.

George Samuel

We all thought it was Kirk's dad.

Could it be.... Sam? His brother?

Stay tuned.

There are a lot of things I could say

I've been sick. I'm still recovering. I don't feel well. My boyfriend is inconsiderate and texts me at midnight. The dogs are running around upstairs, I have dishes to do. I'm behind on my Star Trek news.

And Quinto looks damn good in those ears.

I've been sick

My friend Mario called me the other night while I was pretty much on my deathbed to tell me that the writers are striking. To which I said "duh". I mean, I do read Wil Wheaton, right? So anyway, Mario goes on and on about next summer, which got me to thinking.

Next summer's gonna suck, movie-wise. Stock up on your DVDS, kiddies.

George Frigging Samuel Kirk!!!!!!

OMFG, they're having Kirk's dad in the movie!

That's blowing all this continuity debate to kingdom come, seriously. I mean, there's not a fan alive who doesn't know Kirk's father's name - and not a fan alive who wouldn't like to see something about him.

Well, now we will.

'Cause he's in the movie, baby!

New Developments

So, for Christopher Pike we have Bruce Greenwood. I didn't know his name, but I liked him in Thirteen Days. And even in The Core, despite the abominableness of that movie. So I can't say I dislike that bit of casting - even though he looks NOTHING like Jeffrey Hunter.

And to replace Jane Wyatt?

Winona Ryder.

Well, she doesn't suck. She did really well in Little Women...a dozen years ago. And since then? She shoplifts.

Maybe this is her great comeback.

Civil Defense

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

It's been a DS9-heavy day, hasn't it?

In another week I'll be into netflixing Voyager, and then Enterprise (grumble)

But I digress. Civil Defense is possibly one of the most frightening eps of DS9 because it shows you just how out of control their station is.

Quark and Odo getting locked in the security office, btw, is priceless.

Dukat... if you are seeing this recording, it means you tried to abandon your post while the station's self-destruct sequence was engaged. That will not be permitted. You have lost control of Terok Nor, disgracing yourself and Cardassia. Your attempt to escape is no doubt a final act of cowardice. All fail-safes have been eliminated. Your personal access codes have been rescinded. The destruct sequence can no longer be halted. All you can do now is contemplate the depth of your disgrace... and try to die like a Cardassian.

-recording of Legate Kell

Villains

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

Buffy and Xander spend an entire day chasing Willow around while she tries to kill Warren. Big damn failiure.

I came to Buffy late in life and I didn't know who this Tara was when I first saw it. Wacky.

Oh my God.
Willow - no... What did you do?
One down.

-Xander, Buffy, and Willow

The Enemy

When I was a child, so much of what this ep contains confused me. Geordi being stuck on the planet, Worf refusing to donate ribosomes to the Romulan, and Tomalak lying his face off.

As an aside, Tomalak was also the one-armed man in the movie of "The Fugitive".

We have a second survivor from your one man craft.

-Picard

...Nor the Battle to the Strong

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

This is Cirroc Lofton's chance to shine - and for once, he gets to take advantage of it. Good on him.

The removal of caffeine from beverages has plagued restauranteurs for centuries! You can't expect me to cure it over night."
"I'm not paying for that! I want to get her off caffeine, not poison her."
"So much for Quarktajino."

- Quark, O'Brien, and Odo

Looking for Par'Mach in all the wrong places

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Julian has way too much fun spying on Miles and Nerys in this ep. I have way too much fun rediscovering all these little things.

It's also a wonderful example of DS9's tradition of having fun after Serious Business. You know, some Serious Stuff (like the last three or so eps) happens and all of a sudden they just bust out and have some fun. Or some Klingon sex. Whatever.

I am a fool.

You're in love - which I suppose is the same thing.

-Worf and Jadzia

The Ship

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

When the 100th episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine came out, I was very excited.

In fact, I taped it.

I watched it every day for weeks, and then my mom accidentally erased my tape. I was devastated. And this is the first time I've seen it since.

And since that time, there has never been a true hundredth episode of Star Trek.

We will both keep the predators away.

-Worf, to Miles

Apocalypse Rising

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

This was the first time since the end of the Federation/Klingon peace treaty that things don't seem royally screwed up in galactic politics. For just that brief moment, they had it back.

The scene between Nana and Sid where she blames him for the baby is hilarious, because of course the baby really is his fault. Poor Kirayoshi - a plot device to cover for the fact that Nana and Sid were screwing behind the scenes.

This is when Dukat gets back to being an ass. I always wanted to like Dukat - and then he was just evil. Too bad.

That's one de-pressed ex-changeling.

-Quark, talking about Odo

Lonely Among Us

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Does every sector have a neutral conference planet? Because that's what Picard's log implies at the beginning.

Do No Harm

Boone's still not doing well. And where did Sun get all her medical training? Claire goes into labor at the worst possible time. Claire has a boy, Boone dies, and Jack decides it's all Locke's fault.

This does not bode well for Locke.

Deus Ex Machina

Locke temporarily loses his legs again, resulting in Boone maybe getting dead. And the big metal thing lights up and no one knows why.

To be fair, no one seems to be able to die on this island so maybe Boone will be fine. I hope so. He's kinda hot.

Dark Page

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Few people know that Kirsten Dunst had her TV debut on Star Trek. This performance made me a Dunst fan forever - for some reason I just like her. Always have. Ever since Hedril.

I also see this as the beginning of the end of TNG - the season seven tradition of wrapping up errant plot points and characters as well as having a "one last". This is "one last" Lwaxana episode, and a chance to wrap up Lwaxana - and for those who dislike her character to feel for her.

Star Trek has always symbolized parts of my life, and TNG was my childhood - this was the beginning of the end of that. This is when I began to grow up.

Inside your mother, there is a ... dark place.

-Maques

Teaser Trailer

The word is that someone told the Latino review that a teaser trailer is in the works for XI that shows the Enterprise being constructed.

So there goes assumptions made in two books I can think of.

Oh, and BTW, it would be nice if maybe instead of ignoring the books, you were to kind of back up some fan favorites. Huh? Huh?

Numbers

Lost.

Hey, check it out. Hurley won the Lottery. And BTW, the French chick had his lottery numbers written down.

And when is Claire gonna get around to having that baby?

In Translation

Well, Jin and Sun finally split up and Hurley ran out of batteries.

Good times.

Booby Trap

The scene where Picard realizes he is the only one among the senior staff with taste? Classic. "Didn't anyone here build ships in bottles when they were boys?"

"I did not play with toys."

"I was never a boy."

This is also the beginning of all the Leah Brahms stuff, not to mention poor Christie. And you know, to this day, I can barely watch the stuff on the holodeck without cringing. Talk about horrible dialog!

The rest of it's really good too. That sucks.

I just realized how much Geordi slips up on the holodeck. "Give me an opponent capable of defeating Data." "Show me which ones."

Yeah, great.

Computer, do you have any, you know, personality on file for Dr. Brahms?

-Geordi LaForge

Something Sad

You want pathetic? I am seriously considering going to the Beowulf movie so I can see the Cloverfield trailer. That's pathetic.

Smokin' Aces

Have you ever seen such a piece of crap?

I guess the plot twists were cool, but the Tremors Brothers (which is who I was watching it for in the first place because one of them is Chris Pine) really disturbed me and I didn't enjoy that bit at all. The FBI agent doing that thing I shouldn't tell you about (spoilers and all that) in the end really threw me, and the big surprise was something I figured out about fifteen minutes in.

It just sucked sucked sucked.

I did like the trashy hit women though. They had a certain energy that is often missing from the standard cinematic hit man.

The Secret

If you want to audition well, calm the fuck down. Wil Wheaton discovered that the other day when he got cast in the role of Miles Something-or-other in Numb3rs.

Go Wil! You rock! You're awesome!

A Tribute to Gene Roddenberry

The anniversary of Gene's death is today.

The Doomsday Machine

They're right. It is cooler in Remastered.

Not that it's not cool. I'd like to take this moment to harp on the lack of respect we're paying the people who friggin invented the special effects needed to do this ep - whose work is now being basically deleted by computer.

BTW, I'll get remastered as soon as I buy the complete TNG set, okay?

"Sir – may I offer my condolences on the death of your friend; it is most... regrettable."
"It's regrettable that he died for nothing."

- Spock and Kirk

Hippocratic Oath

Leaving out the Dominion plot for the moment, does anyone else wonder how it is that Worf got so out of line? I realize there's no love lost between him and Odo at this point, but seriously, he's just annoying in this one.

Now stumbling back into the Dominon plot - what are we doing sending runabouts alone through the wormhole? Seems like the dictionary definition of crappy idea to me. And Garan'Agar proves that despite the lack of addiction to White, the Jem'Hadar will never be the great thinkers of the galaxy, which makes me wonder just what exactly Julian thinks he's doing.

So, what you're saying is you whish Keiko... was a man.

-Julian Bashir

For those of you who know who I am

Despite the bomb threat across from my work - I AM OKAY.

Equilibrium

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

This has one of my favorite scenes in it, where the whole crew gets together for dinner in Sisko's quarters. Odo learns to cook, Bashir hates beets, Kira calls Odo cute, everyone gets a lecture about cajun cooking and probably at some point baseball.

I just love it.

But then the rest of the ep happens and one burning question pervades my conciousness:

Where the crap is Verad?

There's all this stuff in here about Dax's eighth host. Verad? Gone. Still, I know he only had Dax for a few hours or so, but...

Ninth. Ninth host.

You just look so...cute.

-Major Kira,
watching Odo cooking

Forever Young

Mel Gibson when he was still cool and a really short Elijah Wood? What's not to love?

Also, JJ Abrams strikes again.

I'm shocked by how many things I enjoyed as a little kid have JJ Abrams involvement. This time he wrote the thing. It makes it all a little easier to know that he's repsonsible for many of my fond cinematic memories - too bad he's not writing XI.

Someone just asked why I don't cover Voyager.

Simple question. Want a simple answer?

I only own season 4.

And that sucks.

Give me some time, I'm working on it. I just graduated, for cripes sake!

Seriously, though, I'd love to cover Voyager and even *sob* Enterprise but I just can't stop paying rent and buy it all right now.

Lazy day

I've watched no Trek today and none yesterday and I miss it. But I only have 11 and a half hours before I go to bed, so I better go watch it I guess...

Being a nerd is a demanding passion, one that can eat away at you. Beware: you may not be able to leave.

And the AICNs Have It

There's a McCoy and I can't look.

Because he's the last one. After this that's it. No more waiting - the thing's totally cast.

Okay, here we go...

Karl Urban.

Karl Urban... We've heard the name. No one's surprised.

Karl Urban.

La De Friggin Da

Still waiting for it all to sink in... waiting... waiting...

Nope, still can't wrap my mind around it.

Well, that's all folks. And by folks I mean Shatner.

William Shatner is out and Chris Pine of crappy movie fame is in. At least he's a reasonable look-alike and he's reasonably hot to boot. We'll wait to see if he has a brain - giving up a shot at any other movie for The Posiedon Adventure doesn't look promising - and if he can act. Questionable, I doubt he got much from Lindsay Lohan.

I remember idolizing Shatner as a child. My parents would joke about him all the time and I just couldn't stand it. They never understood how much it bothered me. As I got older, I was able to understand that Shatner is an egomaniacal freak of nature and that he's self-important and that he's not that smart and probably not easy to get along with. I also began to understand that Captain Kirk, himself, isn't exactly going to be winning a Nobel Prize for Brilliance anytime soon. But still, Kirk is a hero for nothing more than stupid bravery and sheer dumb luck and Shatner is to be honored for bringing Kirk to us.

And so I'd like to request a moment of virtual silence for Shatner's Kirk, who we will probably never get to see again. Forty years was not enough - and keep writing your damn books. Just because they're all the same doesn't mean we'll stop reading. After all, you're William Shatner!

Yayayayayayayayay

I recently found a site that sells quality asian versions of the star trek sets. For CHEAP. That means I'll have it all in about three months for a reasonable price without copyright violation. Which means that then I can start buying other things. Wonderful things. I think X-Files is next, or maybe The Pretender.

Perfection

I was struck today by the fact that I cannot find anything wrong with The Homecoming/Circle/Siege trilogy. Nothing. Nada, zip, zilch. It's a perfect moment in Star Trek. Someone come tell me something I missed, 'cause I'm feeling queasy.

Day of rest. Or something.

I finally got a day off and what did I do? I watched "The Apple", "Silicon Avatar", "The Homecoming", "The Circle", "The Siege", four Buffies, and I'm just about to watch "Cardassians". I'm finally caught up though.

Yay on me.

Oh, and I cleaned my room, went to the gym, and did laundry. And I need to clean the bathroom in the worst way.

Sometimes it bites to be a nerd.

The more I learn...

The More I learn:

the less I fear.
the better I feel.
the happier I am.
the more I know.
the more I have to fear.

I dunno, it just seems to run in cycles with me. Sometimes I'm thrilled about the movie, and sometimes I just want it to go away. I admit it - like Kirk and Spock, I am afraid of change. I have grown inflexible, and I may have outlived my usefulness.

Brothers

I just love the ep where Lore kills Noonien Soong. But what I've never understood is why. I know he's insane, but he had no reason to kill his own father. And he was genuinely upset that Soong was dying.

So why kill him?

I don't understand the mentality of the insane. Or the sane, for that matter.

"I am not less perfect than Lore. I am not less perfect than Lore."

-Data

As if that's not enough

We also have Sulu cast - John Cho. So we're doing pretty well here, really, and also, FYI - this is totally gonna work people!

We have Scotty.

I think I'm right in saying that Simon Pegg is a good damn choice. And after all this - I'm willing to finally let it go and trust J.J. again. He's gotten too much right for me to worry about him anymore - until November, when shooting starts, with it's whole new bag of worries.

Boy did he call it.

"I told him we shouldn't have colonized so close to the Cardassian border."

-Mr. Mott
"Ensign Ro"
Star Trek: The Next Generation

Fear

Watching Mirror, Mirror and The Enemy within so close together is that they really show you the dark side of humanity.

The very dark side.

There's the side of Kirk you don't want to see. And Spock, and Sulu, and Chekov. We don't really see Uhura or Scotty or McCoy being evil.

Scary, isn't it?

But what's scarier is the people on Heroes. Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're shooting Simone and breaking into people's houses. And sometimes George Takei is handing over other peoples children to that guy who plays Claire's dad and OMFG, what is going on here? Because now everyone's all interconnected.

I hate weekends

The problem with having a weekend away is that now I have to watch "Man of the People", "The Enemy Within", "Mirror, Mirror", "Barge of the Dead", "Ensign Ro", "Brothers", "The Raven", "The Survivors", and "Partruition". I've gotten behind. Not to mention my other shows.

Confusion

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Search 2

I remember confusion. Unending confusion. Rene Auberjoinois was awesome as always. Confusion, confusion, confusion. Wondering - how? Because nothing seemed quite right.

But I never did like Nechayev.

I remember knowing, too, that something was rotten in the state of Camazotz - or Founderworld. Whatever, I'm not picky. The point is, they were creepy. They were NOT RIGHT and I could tell. And I was right.

It was a profound experience, knowing and being correct and predicting. I was twelve years old, and I hadn't ever made a correct prediction. But this - this I knew.

The only time the TNG crew is allowed to have issues

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Family

Worf's parents visit, Wesley has an up-close encounter with his dad's holographic image (Wil Wheaton has apologized for this one, by the way).

The big thing is Picard recovering from his Borg experience. And let me tell you, boy am I glad that they didn't decide that Picard destroying half the fleet was cause for everyone just going back out to space with no emotional consequences.

Aupres de ma blonde
Qu'il fait bon, fait bon, fait bon
Aupres de ma blonde
Qu'il fait bon, fait bon

Au...dum da-da blonde
Qu'il bo-bo fait bon..

-Jean-Luc and Robert Picard
Singing drunkenly

Why Humans need Telepathy

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Darmok

Some aliens that make no sense kidnap Picard. Will can't get to Picard, but Deanna thinks it's not exactly a fight to the death.

Deanna and Data learn to communicate with the aliens - sort of. Meanwhile, Picard really does, but the alien captain has to die to get it done.

His arms wide...why? Because he's holding them apart?

-Captain Jean-Luc Picard

They reuse this word way too much

Star Trek: The Changeling

Changelings are always misguided, is the only thing I have to say.

That, and the alien probe that Nomad joined with must have been really, really, advanced.

Somehow, a teeny tiny probe managed to destroy four billion people in a teeny tiny amount of time. Of course, Kirk gets stuck dealing with the probe. Luckily, the probe thinks Kirk is it's father (kind of the reverse of Star Wars). The probe is on a mission to sterilize all life that is imperfect. Kirk proves to the probe that it, itself, is imperfect - but not until after Scotty's had to be resuscitated and Uhura has to relearn everything she ever knew.

That's problematical, sir.

-Scottty

See, it is a word!

Nudity

Star Trek: The Naked Now

Everyone gets drunk. Every time I watch this episode, I think of The Naked Time, the episode based on this one they made for TNG. Let's just say it was less than stellar.

That's a pun, FYI.

That said, this is actually a good episode, highly amusing in many ways, and yet with very serious components as well. Also, I think Kevin Riley is pretty hilarious.

I'll protect you, fair maiden!

Sorry, neither.

-Sulu and Uhura

Huh

And, on the flip side, Mike Vogel of The Posiedon Adventure fame, may be the new Captain Kirk. More news to come.

Personally, the man makes the worst decisions about which movie to do ever. I think that maybe he could be the barometer here. If he decides to not, we'll know it's good.

TNG's Twentieth Anniversary

I'm going to keep adding to this as stuff happens today, but here's a good start.



Twenty years ago, I was barely four. I didn't understand the concept of a spinoff, or that there were two seperate Star Trek shows. I remember watching "The Way to Eden" before TNG one night and thinking Picard was dead because Dr. Sevrin had about the same amount of hair, so that must be the same guy.

I couldn't know, then, that TNG would be with me for the rest of my life. I was, after all, just a nerd in training, not the real thing yet.

Quinto finds out what's coming to him

Zachary Quinto has never done a convention. The closest he got was the comic-con announcement. But now he's signed for 2008's grand slam.

I really really hope this doesn't turn him off to Star Trek. People are scary.

So, who else wants to do Burbank in place of Vegas now?

Oh, can't you just see those poodle people naming a poodle Spock just for him?

BTW, here is that link.

Oh no Odo

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: A Man Alone

Odo gets framed for murder in a very clever way, igniting the first of a lot of anti-changeling sentiment.

He's innocent. Move on.

I suggest that you allow yourself to feel comfortable with your discomfort.

-Jadzia Dax

Who mourns for Charles Dickens?

Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead

Some guy's grandmother dies in the 1800s, and then she comes back to life and rises out of her coffin and tries to kill him. Wonderful. Apparently it's not the first time, judging by the funeral director's reaction.

The woman walks out into the snow with glowy lights around her head. Points from at least stealing from something quality like Buffy and not something lame like Enterprise.

The TARDIS isn't working that well, so they end up in 1860.

The funeral director guy gets chewed out by his servant for not doing what he should have in the first place and getting help for the, you know, walking dead people.

Rose and the Doctor get dressed and go out to see Christmas in 1860.

Just to make things more disturbing, Gwyneth, the servant girl, is psychic. She is able to find the old lady going to see "the great man" from London. Turns out Charles Dickens is in town.

Charles Dickens is depressed about his lack of attachment.

The Doctor calls Rose beautiful, which is sweet. They go out and poke around Christmas 1860, which I assume is good times.

The undertaker and Gwyneth track the dead lady to a convention hall or whatever.

The Doctor got the year wrong. It's 1859.

Charles Dickens, reciting A Christmas Carol, is disturbed to see the dead lady glowing again. She rises from her seat, screaming, and of course the Doctor and Rose run to the rescue. Gwyneth and the undertaker run in too, and these glowy phantom things fly all over the room. The Doctor runs in to help, and Rose goes after the undertaker. Sadly, the undertaker chloroforms Rose and the Doctor comes out just in time to see her taken away. He gets Charles Dickens to give them a ride on his carriage.

The undertaker and Gwyneth take Rose and lock her up. Rose wakes up with the corpse.

Charles Dickens and the Doctor arrive and see the phantoms flying around. The grandson of the dead woman wakes up, and the two corpses start trying to kill Rose, because of course she's locked up with them. The Doctor manages to keep Rose from being killed by zombies. It turns out they're not so much zombies as they are disembodied aliens.

The undertaker explains that the house is haunted, which the Doctor calls a rift. Charles Dickens starts wandering around, which I personally wouldn't do, but I guess he's closed minded, much like Samuel Clemmens in Time's Arrow. The Doctor catches him looking for wires with which to animate the corpse. Eventually he comes around and we can all get back to our fun lives.

Rose bonds with Gwyneth, who has a crush on the butcher's apprentice guy. Then Gwyneth refers to Rose's dead dad. Oh, yeah - because she's psychic. She can read Rose's mind. The Doctor hears that part of the conversation, and realizes that she's the key to the rift. So they're gonna have a seance.

Charles Dickens refuses to participate until they talk him into it. The gas creatures swarm in and Gwyneth manages to talk to them. They are called the Gelth, and they need to get home. Or they need to come through so they can posess all the dead bodies.

Charles Dickens believes now, at least.

They end up in the morgue, where the Gelth turn out to be evil. They kill the undertaker and take his body. They decide to kill the rest of them. In fact, they're gonna kill all the humans.

Yeah, great plan, Doctor.

Charles Dickens figures out that the Gelth are allergic to gas lights, so he runs back and turns up the gas in the house. Gwyneth can hold them there forever - but only by sacrificing herself. She lights a match and the whole place goes up.

Turns out Gwyneth was already dead.

Charles Dickens goes back to London, very excited. But he'll die before he has time to write about it.

Perhaps I've thought of everything I'll ever think

-Charles Dickens

Spy Games

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Past Prologue

Garak approaches Julian to be his spy contact person and we have to deal with what Bajor was like before the Federation stepped in. Good times.

It's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak.

-Elim Garak, Obsidian Order Papa-spy

Who are you?

Dr Who: The End of the World

The Doctor gives Rose a choice - backwards or forwards in time. 100 years later - no, 10,000 years, no, wait - 5 billion years. This is the day the sun expands and the world ends.

Well, at least humans haven't all killed themselves in that time.

Aliens are coming to watch the spectacle. They almost get thrown out, but the Doctor has a psychic paper and the blue host decides it's an invitation. The Doctor flirts with a tree. And then they bring out the last human - who is like, the thinnest human possible. Skin stretched in a frame. She is eyeballs and a mouth. Creepy. You can see through her.

These black robe types give everyone a sphere. The tree chick tries to find out the Doctor's species and then says "it's impossible". I'm guessing that's not good.

Rose, meanwhile, watches the end of the world. Is it any wonder she's a little upset. She realizes she has no idea who the Doctor is while talking to a blue skinned alien. The blue skinned alien crawls into a jeffries tube and has an encounter with a spider thing. Or two. Billion. Scream.

The black robed aliens' silver balls may be responsible. They hatch little spider things. Hmmm...

Rose is sitting around playing with hers. She speaks to the plant the tree lady gave her when her little silver ball hatches. Yikes.

The Doctor gets his phone booth valet parked. Then he finds Rose sitting alone. She's trying to deal with the aliens. And then the Doctor won't even tell her who he is. They have a small fight about it. She gets over it. The Doctor rigs her phone so she can phone home.

The station shakes. The blue host guy finds the spider guys but one kills him before he can do anything about it.

They return to the party, and the Doctor and his tree girlfriend go check out why the station shook.

Rose goes to talk to the last human - Cassandra, who used to be a little boy. Cassandra is the last "pure" human - the others interbred with aliens. Rose gets mad and stomps out and the black robed aliens watch.

The tree tells the Doctor she knows where he's from. She says it's remarkable he exists and how sorry she is. He sheds a single tear.

They emerge in the room from Star Trek: Nemesis where Riker and the Viceroy had that big fight.

Rose gets mugged and dragged away by the black robed aliens.

Doctor and the tree discover that there's sabotage. Good on them, everyone else has known for ten minutes.

Cassandra turns on a "traditional ballad" for the end of the world - Britney Spears.

Rose wakes up in a room where the sun filter is descending. Not good.

The Doctor saves her just in time, and the tree tells eveyone what's up. The figure out that the robey types set them. Oh, no, those are just more robots. Turns out it was Cassandra. Just when you think she's won - well, she kind of wins. In the sense of turning off the forcefields and teleporting away.

Of course, the switch is on the other side of a huge fan. Doctor's about to run through it as a hopeless cause when the tree saves him by slowing down the fans at the cost of her own life - she calls him Time Lord, by the way. Anyway, it's about to be very bad for everyone and then the tree dies, which doesn't help. But the Doctor somehow gets through the fan and raises the shield just in time for Earth to blow up spectacularly.

The Doctor brings Cassandra back... and she dries out and dies. Which is gross.

The guests all leave. Rose stays to watch the debris of the Earth. The Doctor takes her away, back to her own century. And then he tells her his own planet is gone - before it's time. He says there was a war, and they lost. His people are the Time Lords and he is the only survivor.

She takes him out for chips, which I think are fries.

It's inside my brain?

Well, in a good way.

-Rose and The Doctor

The Bad just keeps on coming

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Search pt. 1

Sisko and the crew go to the Gamma Quadrant to contact the Founders, a task that defies solving.

Maybe not their best plan. In fact, they get blowed up in Starfleet's finest warship.

On the flip side, Odo finally finds his people -

End of episdoe.

Welcome home.

-A female changeling

Amnesia

Star Trek: Voyager: Non Sequitr

Harry wakes up on Earth. He's never been on Voyager. And he really really wants to get back. It's possible that Harry is not that bright and doesn't know about Species 8472.

Why does everyone say "relax" when they're about to do something terrible?

-Harry Kim